Immorality in Ministry

Are you sure there is actually sin going on? It is not a sin to share a roof or share money with someone. Has she admitted to a sexual relationship?

It may be unwise, and it may look sufficiently bad to ask her to step aside, but it may not be sin.

 

There are to many elderly couples doing this for the sake of the money and are tossing their moral compass out the window. Meanwhile the younger adults are following in their foot steps. You either serve God or mammon. If the elder women do not set the example for the younger, they are in violation of God's word.

Titus 2:1-5
1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

 

The laws of our land tend to support sin when it comes to a widow's, husband's pension payouts. In all actualities the widow should not loose that benefit if she so chooses to remarry. However it is important to note that her new husband could also have monies coming in as well. If the widow has no other family for support she becomes the Church's responsibility.

 

The appearance of evil is not necessarily inherently wrong. I agree it looks bad, and that is reason to ask her to step aside.

The whole pension thing makes it harder. But right is right.

Most of us, when we got married, took on additional expenses that had the net result of lowering the amount of discretionary income. But we decided it was worth it. (Don't tell your spouse if you have changed your mind.) Sounds like a similar decision needs to be made here. If this relationship is worth it, then they pay the price for it.

 

Please don't take this as excusing sin...but....

You mentioned she was "losing her mental faculties." Do you suspect this plays a role?

I've worked with Alzheimer's patients in previous jobs and continue to serve as a helper & advocate. If she is slipping mentally, often times that can come with behavior one doesn't expect from an individual.

I don't have enough info to do anything other than ask. But what does your gut tell you? Is this possibly a dementia issue...or is it plain' ol no-no behavior?

 

rbell,

Having experienced the ravages of Alzheimer's with my own family, you do bring up a valid point. But IF that was a factor in this case, what would you do differently?

 

Quite odd that being "in ministry" apparently exempts one from the strict publicize/ostracize scheme many here advocated just months ago.

 

I do not want to sound harsh, but shacking up would be automatic removal from a Ministry position, then there would be choices to be made.

 

I may alone on this board for saying this, but I see nothing wrong with performing a "Covenant Marriage" seperately and apart from state sanctions governing a civin marital contract. They would be asking God to bless their marriage not uncle Sam...

I have had this conversation with other pastors and they seem to split about fifty fifty on this. I would suggest that the state contractual issue is seperate from a Christ-centered-God-ordained marriage. Work it in reverse; if the state eventually allows gay couples to have civil unuions in all states, does that negate the godly value of a Christian marriage? Certianly not! Neither does the state give the ultimate approval for the marraige of a man and woman in the Church...

I would suggest that clear biblical logic can not be followed in suggesting that the State MUST sanction a marriage (wedding contract in civil legal terms) for it to be valid in the Church.

Granted, in this case that may not be the way to go but I think it can be a real option for some folks. This also is not well recieved by all so if the situation is already very public then teh church would have to be prepared to defend its decision to grant a covenant marriage and explain its position.

 

For a myriad of reasons, she needs to go. You can't have someone on the "platform" who is losing their faculties. That's a start. Larry is right, if there was no sin involved, okay. And the state does sanction sin. No question. Before EGRRTA, there was a marriage penalty. We all had a tax burden disproportionate because we were married. So we all make sacrifices. But those are different when people are living off govt dole, thanks to Social Security.

I do like the question about Covenant marriage outside the state's purview. Interesting. However, it's a bit moot. The state must recognize a marriage for a variety of purposes, and thus must define what a marriage is. But it's a great question.