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You know you're a Floridian if...

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by FriendofSpurgeon, Jun 22, 2009.

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  1. FriendofSpurgeon

    FriendofSpurgeon Well-Known Member
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    You know you're a Floridian if....

    Socks are used only for bowling.

    You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in
    five minutes.

    A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but
    everything to do with shade.

    Your winter coat is made of denim.

    You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

    You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

    Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

    You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

    Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

    You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

    You dread love bug season.

    You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances , Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma......

    You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

    You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

    'Down South' means Key West.

    Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

    You have a drawer full of swim suits, but only one sweatshirt.

    You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

    A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

    You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

    You've hosted a hurricane party.

    You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee and Micanopy.

    You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

    You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

    You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.
     
    #1 FriendofSpurgeon, Jun 22, 2009
  2. Magnetic Poles

    Magnetic Poles New Member

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    You cannot cleanly punch out a chad on a punch ballot. :tongue3:
     
    #2 Magnetic Poles, Jun 22, 2009
  3. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    When half of your phone calls are from Yankees who just happened to tell you they will be going to Disney World for a week...
     
    #3 Salty, Jun 22, 2009
  4. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

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    I moved to Florida in 2005, but many of those don't apply to me at all--yet. I am most comfortable when it's in the 80's though, and below 75 is chilly to me. I wear sandals and shorts all year long and rarely wear shoes or socks. I think I've worn my winter coat three or four times since 2005, and at least one of those times I could have gotten by with a thin jacket.

    My first summer down here I swam a lot outdoors in a pool, and now the winters are too cold for me even though the days are usually in the 60's and 70's. They do occasionally drop down to the 50's.

    "Down south" to me now means any place below the halfway mark where I am.
     
    #4 Jon-Marc, Jun 22, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2009
  5. baptistteacher

    baptistteacher Member
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    With family roots in L.A. (Lower Alabama), I can relate to most of these. Don't know what "Love Bug" season is though.
     
    #5 baptistteacher, Jun 24, 2009
  6. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant Well-Known Member

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    If you still thnk of I-75 going east from Naples as "Alligator Alley"!
     
    #6 Tom Bryant, Jun 24, 2009
  7. Magnetic Poles

    Magnetic Poles New Member

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    Oh, we had that in Texas also. Love bugs fly around joined in the procreative act and mess up your windshield something awful.
     
    #7 Magnetic Poles, Jun 24, 2009
  8. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

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    A Love Bug is a small flying insect that swarms in large numbers during a small part of the summer. The male and female "hook up" together in mid air and mate while flying--not very well I might add. They get all over you and all around you and land everywhere, and the air is thick with them. They are pests but harmless
     
    #8 Jon-Marc, Jun 24, 2009
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