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Dear Abby

Discussion in 'Other Discussions' started by Salty, Feb 21, 2010.

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  1. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    An interesting letters today - 21 Feb 10

    #1

    DEAR ABBY: I have been married five months, and a problem has come up. It's my wife's 20-year-old son, "Danny." He uses drugs, and he does it in our house. He also allows the garbage to pile up in his room to the point that the stench invades the entire house.

    We have had to install locks on all the internal doors because Danny steals from us. He also has his girlfriend and drug-using cousin over for "sleepovers."
    Last night I was so upset I told my wife I was tired of the drugs and the filth, and if Danny doesn't straighten out, I am going to turn him in to the authorities. My wife now barely speaks to me, and she's making me feel like I'm the enemy. Was I wrong to put my foot down? -- CONFLICTED IN ST. JOE, MO.
    DEAR CONFLICTED: Not in my book. Danny appears to be an addict living the lifestyle of an addict, which includes stealing and hanging around with others who use drugs. The garbage may be piling up because he's so stoned he doesn't notice.
    I don't know how long you all have been living like this, but if you married your wife under these circumstances, she may expect you to continue to tolerate it.
    As long as she allows her son to use drugs and live the way he is, nothing will change. Please recognize that your wife is her son's enabler. A loving mother should insist that he get help and clean up his act. What you must decide is whether you're willing to live like this for the rest of your life, because you can't change this lady and her son. Only they can do that, and they do not appear inclined to do so.
    *************************
    So what should CONFLICTED IN ST. JOE, MO. do, would you advise him differently than Abby?


     
    #1 Salty, Feb 21, 2010
  2. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Now that you have had time to think about an answer...
     
    #2 Salty, Nov 25, 2010
  3. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

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    My second wife had an 18-year-old son who she allowed to bring his girlfriend into his bed in our home (mine really since I had it before we married), I protested such immorality, and she let me know I had no say in the matter. Yet, she claimed to be a Christian. She eventually divorced me because I wasn't perfect like she was. :D
     
    #3 Jon-Marc, Nov 26, 2010
  4. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

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    Now that I've had months to think about it, I've decided that if the guy is too dumb to figure this one out then I shouldn't waste my time figuring it out for him when he won't see my answer anyhow.
     
    #4 Gina B, Nov 26, 2010
  5. billwald

    billwald New Member

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    "Smack her down, again, Pa
    Smack her down, again
    We don't want our neighbors talking 'bout our kin."
     
    #5 billwald, Nov 26, 2010
  6. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Could it be he just wanted someone to confirm what he thinks is correct - and maybe a way to convince his wife?
     
    #6 Salty, Nov 26, 2010
  7. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

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    I suppose. Still doesn't strike me as normal to need confirmation that if your adult child or ANY other person brings illegal drug use, addicts, and filth into your home, it is normal to try to make it stop, even if it includes reporting illegal stuff to the people who deal with illegal stuff.

    But I guess that's the world we live in. The use of common sense has become an ancient form of logic that few still know how to exercise.
     
    #7 Gina B, Nov 26, 2010
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