I've been tied up and unable to participate so far, but I was one of the ones posting in the other thread.
I've just skimmed what is here, and most of it is a re-hash of similar arguments with neither "side" willing to give an ounce. That is rather sad, for many of the arguments here are not truly biblical, but rather of the heart. That is okay in a sense, for the subject of babies dying is a heart matter. When my own 2nd son died in our arms, we certainly cried out to God to make it different, but the son was dead nonetheless. Can we be "assured" that our son is, as we engraved on his tombstone, "Safe in the arms of Jesus"? I sincerely do not know and after searching the Scriptures over and over again for a truly satisfying answer, I still don't know.
What I do know FOR SURE is that an ALL-GOOD, ALL-MERCIFUL, ALL-GRACIOUS, PERFECT JUDGE, God will do the perfect and right thing in the case of infants who die, and if I could see and understand things from God's perspective (which I assume that one day, I will when I enter God's presence) that I would completely and totally agree with God's sovereign decision whichever way He moves.
I, like many others, anticipate from the hints given us in Scripture that God has some form of special grace for babies, but I cannot prove that and neither can anyone else. To make a special pleading on behalf of infants also starts a slippery slope argument, where we then need to discern at which point the child is no longer covered by God's special grace. Is it when they first cry because they don't get their way (their first outright sin), or when they say "no" the first time? When?
Because we cannot hold that babies are born innocent, all (ALL) people being born in sin, we rightly understand that God must make salvific provision for even infants. How He does that, or if He does that we cannot say. and we are right back to trusting by faith that an all-good God will do the all-good thing, and that we will agree with Him when we know.
For what it is worth, the position taken here on the board by Amy is not even Arminian, it is Pelagian. The Pelagian theological position is more human-centered than even the Arminian position, and it is often considered heretical. I am not making a point of attack here, but rather laying out a position according to what I see written in various responses as defined by various theological positions.
The Pelagian position is one that states that humans are born "neutral" and it is the actions of sin that condemn, exactly the position taken by some in this debate. The Pelagian position does not hold to the doctrine of original sin. We are capable (responsible) for only the sins (or lack of asking for salvation) that we as humans do. A "neutral" position is neither universally salvific, nor universally damned. It is just neutral, and the ACTIONS of the human dictate the way God responds.
The Arminian position is not quite so human-centered. It rightly understands that we are born in original sin, and that some remedy needs to be provided by God for that original sin, and because that remedy is needed, yet there is a desire to hold to a human free exercise of will position, a new grace of God was theorized called previnient grace. Previnient grace dictates that we are given just enough "spark of life" to respond to God, who will then, noting our response, act (because "all who ask are saved"). Many here on the board adopt this position.
Here is the problem for both the Pelagian and Arminian positions when it comes to salvation of infants. Both REQUIRE that humans DO some action (at the bare minimum, have faith), and in the case of infants there is NO action that they can do. Because they cannot believe, cannot have faith, cannot express their desire for salvation, and neither does either position trust in God's sovereign election, there is ultimate NO hope for infants who die because there is no means for a human response in infants.
Without entering the realm of hysterics, I do not think for one moment that anyone in any camp wishes for that to be true in the case of infants, but yet many argue from one of the positions outlined above without truly understanding what it is that they are arguing! Somehow, as the argument goes, "God just saves babies because to us that seems the best thing (and implied: I could never trust a God who would not save babies)."