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Deacon Getting a Divorce

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by GBC Pastor, Nov 11, 2010.

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  1. Tater77

    Tater77 New Member

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    I may seem a bit liberal on this but I have seen too many Baptist churches act like a bunch of rabid pharisees on the issue of divorce. It seems that Baptists can forgive alcoholics and drug abusers easier than a divorcee.
     
    #21 Tater77, Nov 16, 2010
  2. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    Do you think that a man who is currently going through such a life change as divorce should still be serving the church? Do you think that this situation fits with 1 Timothy 3:12? We've had deacons step down for a season of their lives when needed. One case was a daughter who became pregnant out of wedlock. Another was when the wife struggled with depression. A third was when he had a child who was in rebellion. In each of these cases, the man needed to focus on his OWN home rather than the service of the church. If we cannot manage our families, how can we manage the church?
     
    #22 annsni, Nov 16, 2010
  3. jaigner

    jaigner Active Member

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    I wonder why we would consider a person who has a pregnant child and a wife with depression to not be "managing" his or her household. Depression is not due to a lack of "management," and a pregnant child may not be either.
     
    #23 jaigner, Nov 16, 2010
  4. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    No, but where is their responsibility?
     
    #24 annsni, Nov 16, 2010
  5. j_barner2000

    j_barner2000 Member

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    It would be a matterr of prayer. Without knowing the details, I would be remiss to force a move in either direction. perhaps the best solution would be to meet with the deacon and one or 2 others (! from each camp) to discuss the situation. It should be done with compassion and an eye to what is Biblical and best for the whole congregation. If he was "wronged" ie. she wanted to be with someone else... then i personally would not reccomend a longterm prohibition from service, but a shorterterm time to heal. If he was abusive or mutual cause ... then perhaps longer term prohibition would be called for.

    Cookie cutter solutions are rarely the best.
     
    #25 j_barner2000, Nov 17, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 17, 2010
  6. PeterM

    PeterM Member

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    Even as this process moves forward carefully and prayfully, it seems to me (sitting up here in the bleachers) that a policy needs to be in place prior to situatoions like this happening. Establishing some guidelines that the church develops and approves can be extremely helpful as they set the policy and procedures in advance of situations like this cropping up.
     
    #26 PeterM, Nov 19, 2010
  7. Steadfast Fred

    Steadfast Fred Active Member

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    Paul instructs Timothy in his first epistle to him on deacons in Chapter 3.

    1 Timothy 3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

    For his wife to file for a divorce, it is obvious that he was unable to 'rule his house well.'

    Also, since he is being divorced, he will no longer be 'the husband of one wife' as he will no longer have that wife.

    I would say he must step down.
     
    #27 Steadfast Fred, Nov 19, 2010
  8. Tater77

    Tater77 New Member

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    So divorce has become the unforgivable sin I see....................
     
    #28 Tater77, Nov 19, 2010
  9. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    Who said that? Everyone here has said that this man can later serve as a deacon but he has bigger fish to fry right now and he should spend some time with the Lord and working to get his home in order. I don't see anywhere here where someone said that he should be tossed out of the church.
     
    #29 annsni, Nov 19, 2010
  10. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    Very true. What a good idea. :thumbs: Hindsight is always 20/20!
     
    #30 abcgrad94, Nov 19, 2010
  11. jaigner

    jaigner Active Member

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    I agree with your point, but there is a wide range of events that can necessitate this.

    My feeling, as well, is that these things do not disqualify a person from a position of leadership.
     
    #31 jaigner, Nov 19, 2010
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