Transforming the Struggles of Tamars-Single Women and Baptistic Communbities

To me, it's not a matter of being excluded. It's a matter of being viewed as "different". The church is heavily focused on marriage and family and they should be. God ordained that and the church should be about promoting it and protecting it.

The church tends to view us singles (by choice, widowed, or divorced) as incomplete or broken or in transition or a period of waiting. In other words, we singles are still climbing the mountain and the couples have reached the pinnacle and service to the Lord is for those who have reach the pinnacle.

I think if the church could learn to view us as completely functional and with solid and Holy Spirit given gifts that can be utilized right now - that would help a lot.

I don't need the church to organize a "single's group" and segregate me from everyone else. I don't need the church to find a man for me. I don't need the church to tell me what my gifts are as a single person - and I certainly don't need them to tell me that I have the "gift" of singleness.

I would just like the church to ask themselves - [and yes, I know I am part of the church] - if they have been looking as singles as different, incomplete, and/or not equipped for some areas of service simply because they are spouseless.

My single friends and I who attend various churches aren't excluded, but we have to work harder at being recognized for service. Sometimes we get forgotten about. Once our gifts and talents are recognized and our singleness is not a name-tag we have to wear all the time - things are fine.

It's not easy being one or two or three singles in a church of 100 or 200 or 300. We come to church because we want to serve the same Living God as married people do.

All we ask is that you don't make our singleness our defining characteristic.