Finding a Baptist woman to date...

Nice Miss Scarlett. I was going to suggest hanging out in the produce section at Kroger's. :thumbs:

 

I'm in a similar boat, having been single for about 7 years. I have been a believer for longer, though and am older.

Scarlett gave good advice about other couples, but I would disagree with the body parts issue. While a physical body is not everything, you don't want to be repulsed either. The last church I was at, there were two women interested in me, and both of them are about 3 times my weight - literally. Uh, no. Thanks, though.

The one I was interested in? Well, she's 10 years older than me. I was 40 and she was 50. She wasn't interested in a 5 year old full time. And that's understandable.

most times when I see girls who are attractive to me, they simply aren't what i want or need spiritually.

So I'm single, and it ain't easy.

 

First of all, you were not saved, so she was 100% correct to turn you down. The Scriptures say do not be unequally yoked... 2 Corinthians 6:14
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" So this is a great sign..not only was she witnessing to you as an unbeliever, she was spiritual enough to know that she should not date an unbeliever. Two points for her!

You said you do fancy her, right? Now that you are a Christian, perhaps now is the time to ask her again. Perhaps you might ease into things by just keeping more company with her. Not ask her out on a date per se, but to do some fun activities and see how it goes. You should be able to discern if she has any romantic interest in you with how she responds on the outings. Rejection is a part of life, sometimes you just have to take the plunge and risk it.

And always...pray =)

 

I completely agree with asking her out again. She sounds worth it. If you are told no, you are told no and your heart is free to start looking. Right now, you care enough about her that you aren't willing to look elsewhere out of concern for how she feels. That isn't fair to you, and even if she doesn't know you're doing it, not fair to her, because you're inadvertently making her part of why you aren't searching out a wife.

Plus how on earth will you live with never knowing one way or the other? That would drive me nuts!

Anyhow, sounds like you need someone and that's natural and normal. If things don't pick up with the young lady you're friends with, perhaps there are volunteer organizations somewhere around that the bigger churches are involved with, and you could join in? That way you're doing something great and also meeting someone else with a giving heart. Just make sure they weren't ordered to do community service. Ha!

 

Good for you, getting it cleared up and settled.
Now to see what happens. It's always interesting how things work out when one goes the right direction.

 

Try plucking them right off facebook. That strategy has worked for me a few times in the past! Good luck, don't give up hope. There is a godly babe out there for you somewhere. :thumbs:

 

There's a private men's forum on here where you may request access after fifty posts, and they deal with those things guy to guy.
But as long as you're here right now, one thing I ask people to consider when they ask this is to also consider abuse. This is not a choice in a guy or girls life if it happens to them, but can make them feel impure and may be a very sensitive topic. It puts someone in a tough spot if they start caring about someone else, then the person they care about suddenly throws at them that "It's really important that you be sexually pure, but if you made a mistake I can deal with that." How does a rape victim, or someone abused as a kid, respond to that?

And while purity is important, and being abused does not make one impure, victims can feel impure or that someone else will feel that way, especially since certain terms are often used to imply purity - terms that can make abuse survivors feel really unsure of how others might think of them.

Sorry to go into all that - it's a great question and I hope the guys will get into it more with you. I just wanted to bring that part of it up because sometimes people don't think about that aspect of things before discussing purity, and it's pretty important. Unfortunately, we live in a really messed up world.

 

I disagree. If a women/girl is raped and abused that would by definition make her impure. It may not have been totally by choice but it still happened.

If a man can get passed a women being impure before marriage that was sexually abused that is great. I think that a women should be up front and honest though also, because she is impure.

There are men that would feel as though the women was deceptive. This would put a huge strain on the marriage and probably lead the man in divorce.

There are plenty of other callings for women that have been left impure willing or unwillingly that they would feel just as fulfilled in other then being a wife.

 

I agree with everything you have said here. I don't believe you understand the true essence of what I was trying to concur.

However, in the future, if you disagree with a position of mine please refrain from personally attacking me ( Calling me a troll ). It's not only ungodly and disrespectful but is irrelevant in a debate forum.

As far as my position, I understand you may not agree but I believe God/the bible got it right the first time. I don't understand why our society have chosen to stray from Gods method in Deuteronomy.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29New International Version (NIV)

28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

This is a quick, easy, fair and just way of solving the problem.

 

Let's not ruin this thread with debate. The Deuteronomy chapter can be taken to the debate forum, GS, where I will be more than happy to point out what those verses actually say in context, rather than what you implied.

 

Gina B,

If you did not want an off topic discussion/debate then why did you post, post #13 on this thread? I am confused. Why are you allowed to give your off topic opinion about a matter as I am not?

As far as you claiming I said something not in context of scripture. I never "implied" anything. I allow scripture to imply what it implies. If you take offense to that then you are offended by God.

 

Hi, Salty,

The post by Gina #13 and the post by Scarlett #15 in response both in your eyes break the user agreement. I understand that you like to aid long time members in there online quest but be fair and objective. Also, if you are not a moderator I am confused why you are even posting about the matter. You could always PM people rather then make a off topic public display about the rules of the forum ( in which everyone is breaking constantly).