My view is no marriage is beyond repair.
It is beyond repair when your spouse leaves and marries another.
We have a God and His word that is bigger that any marriage problem. If Jesus can hang from the cross and ask the Father to forgive those who railed and hung Him there then so can we forgive our spouses no matter what the problem.
Yes, but if they refuse to receive grace and leave the relationship, then a mere human cannot change that. Even God had elected not to violate the will of a human to reject Him.
That being said and true, the decision to divorce is a choice.
Sometimes it is the best choice to let the community and government know what has already happened. The real divorce happens long before any announcement is made or papers filed.
It is a choice to quit, it is a choice to go against the sanctity of marriage further and is unnecessary.
It's just not that black and white. Simply put, it is sometimes the best choice because there are not any good choices. The sanctity of marriage has already been woefully damaged by the time anyone files for divorce. It is the death certificate for a marriage. It should come after there is no hope for reconciliation. In community property states, remaining legally married when your marriage has realistically ended can turn into a huge problem. For instance, if your enstranged spouse is running up enormous debts, you have a Christian obligation not to borrow money that you can't repay.
I know nothing about the internal workings of this marriage that has ended, but I know enough not to make judgments about other people's marriages/divorces because the reality is often very different than what appears in public.
Many years ago my first wife bailed out on our marriage because it didn't solve all of her personal issues and took off to live with one of the guys she had been cheating on me with for at least the previous year. I had discovered the affair and was trying to work things out with her for nearly a year when she jumped at the chance to move in with him. For the next six months, I continued to try to reconcile, but she ran up enormous debts - debts that took nearly 15 years to repay (I was counseling to file for bankruptcy, but that would not be fair to the lenders who loaned money to her (us) in good faith) - and I was rapidly reaching the point where I would not be able to ever pay them back - and I knew she couldn't/wouldn't.
Under counsel from my pastor and other spiritual leaders, I filed for divorce to protect myself and others from her actions, and - in the words of my pastor - "officially state what has already happened" in my marriage. It was the right decision to make in that situation. Nevertheless, my Christian brothers and sisters came out of the woodwork to condemn me for being hard-hearted and not having faith in God. I had more than a few people accuse me of having a girlfriend on the side (believe me, I didn't want another relationship) and notified me that they would condemn the new marriage (that they expected within a few months) so I had better rethink that. (I'm sure there are some people out there who pride themselves on warning me away from my marriage to a nonexistent girlfriend.) I suppose what explains their ungodly attacks on me was that I didn't regularly inform everyone that my wife was cheating on me and that she was making a mockery of our marriage. That's because I was trying to reconcile with her and if I was successful, others would hold grudges and would continue to condemn her - especially my own extended family. Telling more than one or two close friends would ensure that I could not be reconciled.
So, folks who say there is no excuse for divorce, I agree. However, there are often innocent parties to the divorce who actually need support, not accusations and condemnation. Moreover, it is not always clear who is the innocent party. Should someone who has recently endured divorce be in a leadership role in Christian ministry? No. But I think churches should find creative ways to help ministers transition to careers outside of vocational ministry or have them work in the background in an extremely low-profile position (not splash their name on websites) to provide expertise until they have healed and the Spirit gives evidence that they are to continue their calling.
