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You will never accept good advice, it seems. Evan, you have some problems and they are not able to be solved on a message board. Please find a good pastor, or good Christian friend, who can pray with you and advise you. This is sincere. I have had many problems and I would never seek to find answers on this board. God bless you.

 

No, it is not seeking advice from this board that is a problem. There are people here who care about you. But they cannot take the place of of folks you meet in person. It seems there are no people in your life you can trust. I know the feeling. But there is someone out there you can trust. You have to find him. The board can be harsh, but I truly believe the folks here care about you and will help you if only you will listen to them.

 

Why? I am an Apple fan girl but if I didn't have the money to be able to afford an Apple product, I'd go with whatever I could afford. I paid $37 for my Kindle Fire and it works a bit slower and clumsier than the iPad but it works for WAY less than that iPad.

 

Evan - I'm glad you're thinking about some of what I said. I have to admit that I've been very unwise with money in the past and honestly, that is my thorn in my side. I live in a very affluent area and like nice things. I'm frustrated that my home is no longer as nice as it was because my husband's income dropped by half when he became a pastor and many of the things that were really nice have now become old and in need of replacement or repair. But I am greatly blessed because my children are alive, healthy (I don't know if you were around then but my now 26 year old daughter who just moved to DC almost died 5 years ago to a pancreatic tumor but today she's healthy although missing a spleen, her gallbladder and 2/3 of her pancreas), and following the Lord, I have a wonderful marriage to an amazing man who loves me more than anything besides his Savior. I have a warm home that is in decent repair and we have a sailboat for pleasure that is fully paid off so no debt there. I CRAVE to use some money to work on the house but it would be unwise right now so I wait. I thought about an Apple watch and it makes absolutely zero sense for me to have one. There is nothing that the Apple watch can do that my iPhone and my hand me down Garmin watch that I use for running can't do. I have an iPhone 5C that was my daughters and I have it in a Lifeproof case to keep it safe and working - and it's about 2 years old. I have $300 in a special bank account to have money to replace it when the time comes and I try to put $10 in there each paycheck to build it up. If my phone died right now, I'd get the SE even though I'd like one of the Plus models because my eyesight is going and I'd like to be able to see my phone without glasses but glasses are cheap - the Pluses are not and I have enough to get the SE but not the Plus.

I know being frugal is hard and our desires often outweigh the reality of what we need to do and it hurts. It hurts a lot to not get the new toy we want but then when we understand that we are getting ourselves out of the slavery of debt, it becomes a little easier.

 

Here's another way to think of it.

What if someone had 80 pounds to lose. That's a lot. They might say, "This is a large goal. I'll never get all of this off."

So all they do is drink two cokes a day instead of three and eat two helpings of mashed potatoes but with gravy only one one helping. That's not going to make a dent in their weight.

Why? Because they are not tackling it aggressively.

If you had $230 to spend on luxuries last month, I can only assume you have it this month and every month. Why not for 11 months put that $230 on your large debt and the last month of the year treat yourself with that $230. Just like the person with the weight loss issue would aggressively fight his eating habits and after losing 15 - 20 pounds, treat himself to pizza [a reasonable amount].

 

That's the big one of me. I was amazed at how much we spend when we go out to eat.

 

We will allow ourselves to eat out at a few places:

Wendy's - where we get the 4 for $4. It's a burger, chicken nuggets, french fries and a drink and I have a key tag to get a free small frosty. It's a good deal and a good amount of food.

Taco Bell - $5 box - it's 2 different tacos, a burrito supreme and a drink. Again - decent amount of food for the price.

Local pizza joint - $20 gets us a large cheese pizza (remember, we're in NY so we get a good size real pizza), a parmesan hero of your choice (we usually do chicken farm) and a ziti. It feeds all of us with a salad that I make at home.

Subway - $3.50 6" subs - each day is a different sub. We will bring our own drinks when we do this or just get fountain water.

 

Not going into specifics. But it is clear that some folks here have offered good advice, not because they hate you but because they want you to find your way out of this mess. Not every criticism is meant to demean you; if you're going to post your problems here you need to identify those who mean well and those who just want to blast you. It's not that hard if you will read the posts carefully and in context.

 

That's a good step!! The next step is to not even step foot in there.

 

When you know your weaknesses and you can avoid them, that's half the battle. It's like we tell teens that the decision to not "go to far" is not made as you're sitting on the dark dead end street but before you make the turn down there.

But I find while the Apple store is fun, there is nothing that I need or can afford right now. I have a newer laptop for the church (that I use as a personal computer as well), my iPad is ancient and beginning to die but I don't need to replace it and my iPhone 5C is running great. I'd LOVE a Macbook Air 11" as my own personal computer but I can't justify buying it AND I don't have the money. So it's really not a temptation.