Jokes by GI's for GI's

This may, or may not, be in line with the OP, but here goes…


We’ve all seen the painting of George Washington leading his troops across the Delaware river, with him standing in the boat. Why was he standing? Every time he sat down, someone handed him an oar.

 

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."

 

There's an Air Force guy driving from Wagga to Richmond, and an Army guy driving from Richmond to Wagga. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions.

The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says,"Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"

Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"

The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals"

The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck"

So the Air Force guy pops open his boot and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.

He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship"

The Army guy replies, "You're d**n right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, "Your turn!"

The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

 

My buddy in the Air Force got injured in the war...

He fell off his chair.

 

From WWII, Audie Murphy is a fugitive from the law of averages.

 

I never knew that Murphy's Law had an exclusion clause for family.

 

Very cute Salty.... But do you think this former Vietnam era Marine Tanker is going to let that one slide?... Think again!

What’s the true meaning of Army?
Aren’t Ready for Marines Yet!... Touche!... Oorah!!!... Brother Glen

 

...really, more like 90% imo...

 

Officer:
“Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”

Soldier:
“Sure, buddy.”

Officer:
“That’s no way to address an officer! Now, let’s try it again!”

Officer:
“Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?”

Soldier:
“No, SIR!”

 

Well here's a clean one Kentucky and you must be getting your jokes where I'm getting mine?

A general is sitting in his jeep on the side of the road when a lieutenant pulls up, hops out, and asks, “Car stuck?”
The general hands the Lt. his keys, slides into his jeep, and says, “Nope. But, yours is.”... Brother Glen

 

Just for you, Jarhead:

"What do you call Marines with an IQ of 160?"

 

A Tanker!... Not a motorized one, one in a think tank!... Brother Glen

Btw... You thought you had me Kentucky... I know a platoon!

 

lol,

"What do you call Marines with an IQ of 160?"

"A platoon".

 

Ha, ha ha

 

Oorah

 

There was this grunt doing push ups in the mud

"man, this stinks"

On the other side of the hill it was raining and there was a jarnoggin doing push ups in the mud.

"man, I'm GLAD this stinks"

off shore, there was a swabbie with his binoculars observing the grunt and the jarhead.

"whew, I bet it stinks over there!"

in his 5 star resort hotel in the Italian Alps is a zoomie changing channels.

"What, no cable, this stinks!"

 

Well I don't want to be the first to say this, but you know!... Brother Glen