Two things here. First. The concept of irresistible grace seems to be true so it doesn't matter if I like it or not. And yes, the Holy Spirit is the determining factor. What makes this confusing from our point of view is that it's our wills that are affected thus it will always appear to us to be our choice - and it is, but what was the origin of that choice. And yes, God sovereignly determines by events, his plan for that persons life, their mental and physical makeup, and so on how the process of each persons salvation will occur - and it is according to a sovereign plan known only to God.
I would seriously ditch camping on the idea you can take the the general concept that God desires that all come to repentance and turn that into a primary doctrine. The fact that scripture declares a sense of caring from God, who is infinitely above us is good to know but it does not give you the right to make that the measuring rod of all other revealed doctrine. Atheists use that argument too when a person is the victim of a horrible situation. They say "Was God unable or unwilling to help that". You are using the same argument as an atheist.
That is precisely an argument that Owen uses except in his case he thinks it through. No one wants hell but do people want to give up their sin and turn to God or are they willing to love their sin and hold on to it and take a risk on the possibility that Hell is either not real or maybe God won't really send them there. You really should read Owen.
This is one of the questions where we do know the answer. As I said above, the answer is that "Men loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil". Without supernatural intervention that would include all of us.
Dave when I read through your post I find that you want to give all the credit to the HS but you fail to realize that by doing that you also give Him all the blame. You like the idea of irresistible grace but that also means irresistible reprobation. You can not accept the idea that man actually has the ability to make rational choices based upon available information.
Funny how you say that something that God actually states should not be considered, that He desires all to come to repentance, but we should hold to the idea that God determines everything that one does or thinks but then not accept the logical outcome of that errant idea. Why would you say that I am using the same argument as an atheist when I quote scripture. Do you not believe that God actually want all to be saved?
Sorry but your use of Owen really shows your Calvinism. Owen is just writhing from his biased point of view. I would suggest that you actually trust what the bible says and not what some man tells you the bible says.
Joh 16:8 And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:
Joh 16:9 of sin, because they do not believe in Me;
Question, why would the HS bother convicting anyone if it was impossible for them to turn and trust in Christ Jesus? For that matter why even present the gospel message or have Christ go to the cross? God must believe that man can change so why don’t you or Owen?
Joh 20:30 And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book;
Joh 20:31 but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.
John even went so far as to inform us as to why he wrote his book.
Rom 3:21 But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets,
Rom 3:22 even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe. For there is no difference;
Rom 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Rom 3:24 being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,
Rom 3:25 whom God set forth
as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed,
Rom 3:26 to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.
Joh 20:30 And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book;
Joh 20:31 but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.
Dave I do not deny the Holy Spirit’s conviction or the influence of Gods creation on turning man toward God. What I do deny is the idea that God has to treat man like a puppet as you are suggesting.