The Blooper Files

TaterTot shared her blooper on the previous, most embarassing moment thread. She's got to share it again!

 

1) My husband had a great blooper during one of his sermons. He was quoting Psalm 119:105 and he accidently said "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my fat."

Needless to say...everybody was cracking up.

2) At my old church, the pastor got up after our Easter Cantata and he was stressing the love we should exhibit to our Lord and he said, "Let's just make love to God." He had no idea he said it and still doesn't know it to this day.

It is however a very popular joke amongst the younger people in the church.

 

I am not a pulpt pounder, but one day I was really wanting to make a point and I gave the side of the pulpit a bit of a hit - the top part was not seated on the lower part properly and when I hit it the seating took place quite loudly, somewhat akin to a shot, waking everyone up including me

 

Jim1999 has a great one! Hope he'll share.

 

A former pastor walked up and down the stairs on the platform while he preached. He hit a step and the heel of his shoe came off. He went on about his heel coming off. He placed it on the bottom of his shoe and smashed into the carpet, yelling out, "Be Heeled." Not only did it stick to the shoe, everyone busted out laughing. He thought he would do it again since he had gotten such a good response the first time. He said, "Be Heeled..Owwwwww...umph...gasp," as he fell down the steps. Now that was even funnier.

 

My pastor growing up wanted to recognize one of the SS teachers named Snookie...came out Snotty.

A friend tried to use Carla Faye Tucker as an illustration, and got his letters reversed. He didn't believe that he did it, but the audio tape doesn't lie!

 

I had a pastor once who was talking about a counselling session he had with a parents and their teen. He was relating that he talked to the teen and the teen said his parents were fussing all the time. But the word relayed via the pulpit was not fussing, but f * * * ing. Gasps were heard throughout the audience, and the pastor didn't even realize he had said it--his dentures were loose (really) and they had slipped.

 

When I was a junior pastor the senior pastor was preaching on the cross of Jesus. He meant to say that Jesus lamented the cross, instead he said that Jesus was lamenated on the cross.

Bro Tony

 

I knew an Australian preacher who lived here in Indonesia who would translate for English-speaking preahcers into Indonesian. His Indonesian was excellent, but apparently, there was one important word he did not know.

The word for embarrassed, shy, or ashamed in Indonesian is 'malu.' The Australian was trying to translate the word 'shame' so he put the proper prefix and suffix onto the adjective to turn it into a noun. Little did he know that he said the word for 'private parts' in Indonesian until everyone in the room started laughing. That's a tough way to learn a new word.

I was preaching in Indonesian one time and I tried to say that Jesus taught people to make up. I didn't know the right way to say it, and kept saying a word that meant act like you make up but don't do it sincerely. I repeated this word throughout the message. Later my wife told me about it. One time I tried to say "if anyone is taking notes" but mispronounced the word and said "if anyone is handicapped...." Sorry these bloopers aren't as funny when they are translated into English.

 

We have a missionary friend who went to a foreign country (can't remember if it was Russia or Japan..yeah, I know, the two are so easy to mix up...lol) Anyway, he was told not to tell jokes as American jokes just did not translate over right. Well he got there and thought, "I just have to tell an opening joke. Everybody likes jokes!" So, he told his joke, the translator translated and everyone laughed. It wasn't until much later that he found out what the translator actually said "This man just told a joke, everybody laugh!"

 

It was my responsibility to lead the High Schoolers in the Pledges and Prayer before chapel. With a thousand other things on my mind, we put our hands over our hearts and I loudly proclaimed,"Dear Lord, we thank you for" before I realized what I was doing.

 

I was preaching through a series on The Ten Commandments and was pouring over the idea of Sabbath Day Rest

"Remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy."--Exodus 20:8

I was showing the folks a verse in Exodus 23:12 that says, "Six days thou shalt do thy work, and on the seventh day thou shalt rest: that thine ox and thine ass may rest, and the son of thy handmaid, and the stranger, may be refreshed."

All I said was, "Folks--the Bible is crystal clear! God intended for them---and He intends for us---to rest our oxen and asses!!"

That was four years ago---and people still ask me---Preacher!! Are you resting well???

 

Can't tell you how many times I have put Moses on the Ark! I forgot my sermon notes one morning, jumped in the truck to go get them, with my mind on other things I ran a red light and got a ticket. Can you believe the only other car on the road was a policeman! Spilled my water glass once.

 

The classic blooper is the preacher who instructed the congregation to turn in their Bibles to 2nd Peter while he pulled out his glasses, but he instead accidently switched Peter and glasses.

You do the math.

 

Hehehehehe. You are bad.

 

That is too funny!