stay home moms?

I wouldn't condem anyone who wants to work. I have always choose to stay home with my children. Although they are grown now, my husband likes the idea of me being home, and him able to take care of me. I wanted all that precious time with my children, and even though I've always been home I stll hate that I didn't spend more time doing things with them. They way I see it I was just here, doing all the everyday things, and di do a lot with them. But then again, maybe it's that empty nest thing(one's still technically home, but on his way out).
Children need the influance of parents, people who love them. They need to now that they are worth the time. That even extra money and things were noet as immportant to them. If they have to do without some new things as a result , they will not hold that against you when they are grown, and what they gain by having that time with you growing up will be more worth it. Mu husband and I think about adam and Eve, Adam was sent out o 'make a living' for them if you will, and Eve wasn't. I can see your nrrd for the insurance to cover the pregancy too. If you choose not to stay home, you'll kick yourself one day.
Do you use day care? Think about other people raising your children.
But just as with many other families, it'll all work out if you go back to work after the next child.
I think being a stay home mom is special call by God. I guess it's possable that we aren't all called for it.

 

BugsLife;

I am a director of a child care center in my church. I am a single, never married woman.

I have worked church day care since 1995, and at a children's home for six years before that.

If I ever become a mother. . . I will be a stay at home mother. (well, maybe after they start to school, I will work). But as preschoolers, I will raise them. No offense meant to any working mother. .. but seeing what I see on a day by day basis, I do not think a mother should have to choose between her child and her job. That isn't a real choice. I would not want to make that choice then, so I am making it now.

 

People can debate forever about whether Titus 2 prohibits women from working outside the home. It just doesn't say "women are not to work outside the home" so it becomes "debatable." It could be interpreted that as long as they are keeping their homes, then they can also work outside the home. Or it could be interpreted to mean that women are to be completely consumed with "keeping" at home only.

Sometimes there really are circumstances which require that a woman work outside her home. There were two periods of time when I truly had to work after our children were born. I worked for 1.5 years after the birth of our first son, and he was cared for by his grandmother. It worked out wonderfully! The second time my children were school-aged BUT we had always home schooled before so it was a big change. And after 1.5 years, we decided that things had improved enough that we could manage somehow financially because it was just too hard on our family. Now, I am able to work AT home on the computer.

I have to say that I have observed very noticeable differences in my children's behavior and attitudes when I am not at home when they get home from school. And my kids are old enough to be "OK" at home by themselves.

The only way to get an answer to these questions and know for sure you're making the right decision, is to ask the Holy Spirit for specific direction and confirmation. The Word promises we can do that and receive an answer. If I decide that I am "supposed to" stay home full time because other godly women say the Bible says so, even if it's right, I'm wrong because that is idolatry. I'm taking someone's word for the truth and obeying them in the name of God. God applauded the Berean believers because they took even what Paul said to the Scripture for confirmation. The Word promises wisdom when we ask and the Holy Spirit has been specifically promised to be our counselor and to lead us into the truth.

Many times women who advocate both "sides" are devoutly committed to what they have been taught is the truth or what they are determined to believe, without finding out from God for themselves. I am personally of the SAHM persuasion, but only because that's what God has convicted me personally to do.

At the same time, I find continual conviction from the Titus 2 passage. It is my check point for my priorities and use of time. Are my home and my family my central focus? Even though I am at home full time, I can still be walking outside of the perameters of this passage. Do I love my husband and children the way God would have me love them? Or do I snap at them or get angry at them? Or do I give hubby my left-overs instead of the care and attention he should have as my husband? How IS my home looking these days? And so on for the rest of these points. It's a constant reminder to keep my priorities and my secret heart in the right place.

-- Danette

 

For many years I worked to support my ex-husband who "volunteered" his abilities in order to move into the career of his dreams. Had I not worked, we would have had no income. I was a stay at home wife for one month about ten years ago. We went into debt immediately.
I worked throughout my pregnancy for $7 an hour at a daycare center. I went into labor at work. During my 6 weeks leave, my boss, a woman, cut me to parttime...it was a financial disaster. My ex-husband and I were forced to tag-team our lives.

At this point I rely on my "career" to provide health care benefits and retirement for us. Without this insurance we would have gone bankrupt this summer. I truly believe that God has a calling for me to do what I do (I teach).
I still work, as I've always worked, for ten months out of 12. I spend every evening at home with my husband and my daughter. Our lives are separate from 7:30 to 3:30, doing what we have to do in this world. The rest of the day as well as weekends are for us.

I feel blessed.

[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: Margie Kritzer ]

 

We had to raied our children on less then $10,000. a year. You can live on less. We did, and were very happy.

 

Hello Ladies -

I just wanted to chime in to give you this particular male's opinion of the topic and to go back to Mrs. Bugslife's request for an expounding on this subject.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Titus 2
3
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
First of all, I want you to know that Margie keeps this place looking great with little help from me and no help from Jen. The place even smells good, the laundry stays in constant rotation and the meals are hearty, prompt, and delicious. Her work outside of this home has no adverse effects on her duties here.
She also recognizes me as the head of this house and the spiritual leader while I likewise cherish her and honor her opinions. Her work outside of the home has no bearing on this either.
In reference to the verse that states "...that the word of God not be blasphemed", let me just say that if we look at the women of the Old Testament, they were hard workers outside of the home. Ruth and Naomi gleaned wheat in the fields; Zipporah, Moses's wife was with her six sisters drawing water at the time Moses met her. Those were times that a woman HAD to work hard just to keep her home and it required leaving it to do so.
The same can be said of the women of the New Testament. Christ hiself became seperated from His mother when they travelled to the city. Mary Magdalene followed Christ throughout His ministry, it was women who performed the burial sacraments and prepared the body of Christ for burial. Titus does not say that women should STAY at home, it says they should KEEP their home.
I am proud of the work that Margie does away from here. She's the best art teacher I've ever seen. She motivates the children, she has an active voice on the staff, and she makes most of the money for us. Yes, we could be happy with less money. We love each other and would be happy in a tent. But the extra money we do have allows us to be generous at church, prepare for our daughter to attend college, we do not fear bankruptcy or legal problems, we do not fear medical emergencies.
Also, Margie may be the only interpretation of the Bible that many of the children at her school see. Titus says to teach "the younger women", not just your own kids.
She is an ambassador for Christ and our church just by being there.
Her work gives her peace of mind and good self-worth. As a loving husband, I could never begrudge her that.
Bugslife, you may meet some people who WILL blast you for being a working mom. You just met one who will not.

May God bless all of you

- Clint

 

It's Sunday AM, and I have to get ready for church, but as soon as I can, I will expound more on that verse. Understanding the Greek, as well as historical context and context of the entire Bible can help us to understand this passage. Until then, Godspeed and Happy Lord's Day! May Jesus Christ be praised!

 

Clint: As a working mom and wife, thank you for your post. You have said it better and more clearly than I have on this board. My husband is the spiritual head of our home, and I manage to cook and clean and keep the home 'homey'!


Bugslife: Pray diligently and find what God is leading you to do. Once you and your family has reached a spirit-led decision, don't let any naysayers tell you you're wrong, selfish, or going against God's word. God gives us individual gifts and intends for us to use them. Get ready to duck, though. This board can be rough


Blessings, Holly

 

I worked outside the home for several reasons when we first had children. But when I did work outside the home I worked the evening shift so I would be home with my children most of the day.

My husband really believed that I needed to work outside the home for financial reasons. So I submitted to Him in this area.

It was hard though keeping home, taking care of small children and then going to work after my husband came home.

Well now after the birth of my third child circumstances came up and I stayed home. Now I had another child and some other expenses and the Lord has provided for each and every need.

Something to consider would be if I am working for financial reasons why don't you pray and ask the Lord to supply those needs so you can stay home with your children. I know if it is the Lord's will for you to stay home He will supply each and every need.

I have to tell you the Lord has blessed our home abundantly since I stopped working. We have taken three vacations this year and the Lord has supplied every need that has come along. Not only in a financial sense but also in a spiritual sense. We are together more and we spend more time in the Word of God together and my marriage is stronger today than it has ever been. I have time for ministries in the church.

The Lord has been so gracious to my family. So for me the benefits of staying home have outweighed the necessity of working not to mention having the priviledge of being with my children and training them in the right way to go.

 

Katie,

I don't know what kind of living situation you are in, but I can't think of how in the world any family could live on less than $10,000 per year. I live in Ohio and $10,000 per year would buy groceries and gas and that's about it. Is your home paid for? Do you have a farm and a garden in which you get the majority of your food? I live a fairly simple life, small house, used cars, etc. and my family couldn't begin to survive on that amount of income. So I'm thinking your situation must be somewhat unique compared to some of the rest of us.

Just being a little nosey I guess.

[ November 09, 2001: Message edited by: SAVED4LIFE ]

 

saved4life,

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Is your home paid for? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Rent, nothing wrond that, no taxes or repair bills.


<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Do you have a farm and a garden in which you get the majority of your food? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Can't seem to make anything grow. But have raised thisngs like tomatoes and squash in the past. I shop wisely, buy family packs of meat for less per pound(chicken breast .99 lb. roast, steak, pork chops from .99 - 1.49 lb. and so on, cheap), repackage and freeze, buy store brand vegetables, $.29 a can, don't buy other stuff unless it's on sale, then buy several, shop Save-A-Lot store.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I live a fairly simple life, small house, used cars, etc. and my family couldn't begin to survive on that amount of income. So I'm thinking your situation must be somewhat unique compared to some of the rest of us. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Same here, small house, older used cars. And I did say that was the situation when we raised our children, they are 19 & 20 now. I didn't say anyone else should do it on 10,000. a year, but only that it can be done on one income, basically whatever that one income is, as long as it's above poverty level of course.

 

Just my two cents again

As we sought the Lord in making a decision to stay home and be with our children. It was very clear to me for years what the decision was but the Lord was teaching my husband a lesson on faith.

Now I stay home with my children and I have a big house two nice cars and the Lord has provided every need that we have ever had. We bought the house and the cars before I stopped working so we had payments on those to make on one salary.

But what I am trying to say is that if something is the Lord's will He will provide for you for each and every need. Some things you might have to go without but the sacrifice is well worth it.

The Lord promised He would supply our needs but on the other hand we have to use common sense and go without some extras but the Lord will bless you when you take that step of faith.