Dating? Courting?

Joshua,

Welcome to the Baptist Board!

As I am courting now and have dated in the past I hope that I can shed a little bit of light on the whole issue. When teens/college students say that they are "courting" you can probably be safe in saying that it is not courting in the original sense of the term.

Courting is more of a "dating" by godly standards. Dating tends to be about feelings and gradification, while courting is looking towards another person as a possible marriage partner.

When I dated this is how things went:

1) Making out was okay
2) Many emotions, no commitment
3) Mainly spent time watching movies or in another artifical environment where I could put on my best face.

While I am courting these are how things are going.

1) I will not kiss the person that I am in a relationship until we are married.
2) We must ask each other permission to cuddle or hold hands. (This takes the sensuality out of physical touch and removes a great deal of temptation)
3) We are always looking at the future, if we come to a point where we know we cannot get married we will cut the relationship off.
4) When we spend time with each other, it is in pratical situations to see how we each function around family/ doing ministry, etc.
5) We still do watch a movie now and then but we don't go out on "dates" often. There will be time for that if we get married.
6) Our relationship is entirely Christ-centered. When others ask about our relationship we take every oppertunity to share our relationship with Christ. We were actually asked by one person if we were mormons before we shared that we were Christians. In this God is using our relationship to share His news with others.
7) There is much more commitment in a courting relationship. When I was dating I was always worried about "when is it going to end" or "how long can I make this one last". Now I have no worry about being surprised or hurt by a breakup.
8) The term courtship is prefered because it helps set us apart and lets others know that we are not in a normal "wordly" relationship.

So really- courtship is more biblically based than "dating".

Hope this helps some.

UNP
Adam

[ December 30, 2001: Message edited by: flyfree432 ]

 

I have studied what subject some becuase I am a youth and am single. And I want God's will in whatever I do. What I have come up with though is summed up in the little ?saying? A rose by any other name is still a rose In my opinion there really is no difference.

 

I think that there is a big difference between the two! Like "flyfree432" said, courting is so much more important and serious than dating!

[ January 01, 2002: Message edited by: Joy 11 ]

 

Check out this site http://www.momof9splace.com/

She has a very good description of courting vs. dating.

 

I don't really see a difference either. I just think that some people see dating as a more "involved" type thing while courting is more, how should I say it, "innocent." I personally think that dating is ok between some people as long as they know what they are doing and don't really do anything "naughty" if you know what I mean.

 

I tend to agree with Q, but you also have to read carefully. FlyFree says "Courting is dating using Godly standards" (not a direct quote)

I guess I just called it Dating by Godly standards than.

I also found humor in one other thing, being a youth who is married OK, so my youth is gradually slipping away, but I can be delusional if I want!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> 5) We still do watch a movie now and then but we don't go out on "dates" often. There will be time for that if we get married.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I got a kick out of this. My wife and I look back on our days of being able to go on dates whenever we wanted to fondly, now it involves Grandma or a babysitter When you walk out the door, the clock is running, and you have to add the cost of the babysitter to whatever you want to do!

 

balletdancer,

I don't know how you figure dating is more involved then courting. You must come from a different worldview than I do. "Dating" where I come from is seen as something that has VERY little commitment, is basically go do whatever you feel like, make sure your getting satisfaction out of it, and have little regard for the future.

As Christian young adults, Teresa and I prefer to "court" even if it is technically dating by godly standards because it sets us apart from those who date in a worldly sense.

UNP
Adam

 

flyfree,

I didn't say that i believed that dating is more involved. I just meant that it sounds like most people see it that way.

But I do understand what you mean about courting being more committed, though.