Scorn From Others

I have had to deal with this same problem (only I don't wear dresses. I think pretty much everyone would look at me wierd then )

I had a friend back in jr. high who still lives a worldly life (I did at the time) who still nags me about the high standards that I hold to.

One thing to keep in mind though so you don't alienate those around you: Some of your convictions are just that. Your convictions. It doesn't make them sin. I still go to movie theaters, and my girlfriend wears pants as she hates being in dresses and I think I have seen her in a skirt maybe once. There are no probitions in the Bible to either of these things.

Likewise I hold to some convictions that I know are not sinful to do otherwise, but that is where God has placed me: *** edited to remove potentially dangerous advise*** Teresa and I (my girlfriend) do not plan on even so much as kissing before our marriage. Neither of these is of course sinful.

Now as far as what to do with your friends who cast an odd eye on you for upholding what you believe is right: Let them look on. Beam with pride that you have a strong relationship with the Lord. Make them want it too. When they see how truly happy you are following the Lord in everything in your life, hopefully the Spirit will win them over.

Bro. Adam

[ September 19, 2002, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: C.S. Murphy ]

 

The Bible clearly states that "whatsoever is not of faith is sin." Paul mentioned "meats" that were ok to eat but he wouldn't eat if anyone were offended. He also said that you sin if you do anything you think is wrong.

If that is your personal conviction, by all means do not go against it. I've always believed dress (at least in the area of "don't wear pants, shorts, etc.) to be a personal thing along the lines of Paul's speech on meats.

 

Yes, I know exactly what you are going thew. The thing is, in my experiance it gets worse or stays the same.
I started wearing dresses last year, and everyone wanted to know if I converted to Penticostalisum {is that a word?} and everyone called me "grandma" or "preacher girl"
I'm not liked because I don't do what others do, as I suspect you are being treated.
No movies, dances, pants, music {at least not unless it's hymns or southern gospel} for me. I just have strong convictions against them.
It's right that we have convictions on right and wrong, and don't let those kids get you down!
Live your life for God, not for other's opinions.
Only God's counts. Don't be ashamed to proclaim your faith to people.
It dosn't matter what anyone thinks, as long as you are in God's will that's all that matters.
For now, when asked questions about why you do something, use that as an opertunity to share about your salvation. Use that as a chance to wittness.
Just wanted ya to know that you aren't the only one to face that. If ya ever want to ask questions, or ya just want to talk, send me an e-mail or PM me.
Your sister and friend in Christ, Abby

 

I am the furthest away from a "girl" as you get. I don't wear skirts, don't wear dresses; in fact, give me a cross-country or a softball uniform and a bat and glove (for softball) and I'm just fine! There are other things that I can relate to in your situation. It's called getting rejected because who I am. During high school, I stuck with a certain group of friends, and one was in a JROTC program with me. She was always the mature, never say anything bad one. I met her in middle school, and during middle school my life was anything but godly. I would use profane language and use obscene gestures in front of my teachers. Anyone who knew me knew that there were two sides to me, miss goody-two-shoes, and miss out of control. Now, with my reputation stated this is what was expected out of me. I went to camp every summer and one summer God revealed himself to me. I knew what I was doing was wrong in the past, but didn't want to change, but after God revealing himself, I now wanted to change. And I did.
While hanging out with some of the people I used to hang out with, they asked me if I had a boyfriend, and then they would follow with remarks of an unChristian character nature. They would not believe that I was still a virgin, and they wouldn't, if not didn't want, to believe that my boyfriend and I never kissed. I had to endure the critism and the accusations, but when they finally saw my sincerity they realized that I wasn't like I was before. I changed. They now watch what they say and do around me, but I'm sorry to say that not everything turns out like that. One of two things will happen in your case. 1: Your friends will realize why you are doing what you are doing(if you tell them) and they will watch how they act and what they say around you, or 2: You will not be friends with them. I hope that it will be number two for you.

What kind of dancing are you referring to?

Dancing: In today's society is one of the major activities for all ages. They probably do not understand why you won't dance. For example, my friend had asked if we could hang out after I got out of work, I said that I would enjoy that. Al she said was that I needed a certain amount of money and didn't tell me why. We then went to her house because my clothes wouldn't suffice, and the outfit I was wearing seemed quite conservative. She started driving and we ended up at a dance club, not my idea. We then proceeded to enter and she tried her hardest to get me to dance. I didn't want to, and since I couldn't go anywhere else I just stood there. It gave me an insight though. And standing there, I felt sorry for all those people who were just wasting their life. My friend was confused, and she met two guys. (You see, her motive at this point was to find me a man.) So,the two guys, and my friend and I went outside, and we all talked amongst ourselves. I was offered a cigarrette, and refused, which confused my friend as well. After this incident, I am very careful about where I go with her. She also understands now that I don't dance because I have valid reasons(I'm not saying that having a convition is wrong, but I've found that explaining my decision to her on a level she can understand like, dancing leads to false feelings which can lead to a situation where I could become impregnated). After explaining them, she turns around and evaluates what she does and she has quit few of her ways.

And you will be out of place as long as you feel out of place. The best thing to do in a situation like that is to feel the same way that you did before, only you dress differently. Be proud of the way you dress, and don't let it get in the way of fitting in!

Not sure if this has helped at all, but that's just some advice from my personal experience.

In Christ's gracious love,
Teresa

[ August 08, 2002, 06:45 PM: Message edited by: baptistforever ]

 

Other thing Teresa made me think of, is that most likely if they stay your friends, they will watch everything you do. If they know you are a Christian, sadly, they expect you to be perfect. I really have to watch myself around them. I have a temper [With God's grace it's conrolable} and they love to pick and say:"I thought you were saved?!" if I make one mistake. "Above Repraoch" is another way to phrase what's expected of you.
If you make a mistake, explain to them that just because you're Christian dosen't mean you're perfect, just forgiven. I find myself doing a lot of this.
People usualy want to know WHY I have a certian conviction. I use this as a chance to explain my salvation, and the new changes in my life.
I know it's hard. I KNOW! Just pray for patience and wisdom, and do your best to witness when you get the chance.
Be strong sister, and don't give up. God IS faithful.
~Abby

 

hello,
i think that you are very noble for following God's will in your dress. i am entering my sophomore year in high school and am quickly learning that it is hard to stand up against the crowd. especially when the crowd is your friends.
but remember Jesus warned us about this. he said that people will hate the way we dress or the way that we act. but its not us they dispise its the lord. it is a great privilage to suffer for his cause. so stay with the stuff. i am praying for you

 

I always wear long dresses skirts or culottes, even when playing sports or ridding horses. I have a couple Jewish friends (who are not very strict in their beliefs) they don't understand why I always wear what I wear, why I don't dance, go to the movies, and listen to rock music, I don't get made fun of though because of the way I am, just always get asked the same questions, I use the verse Deuteronomy 22:5 for the way I dress, rock music will destroy ones life, and I avoid the theatre and dancing because of my convictions and my testomony, another thing I have been asked about alot is why don't I cut my hair, I don't know about you but I don't ever plan on letting my hair get cut, only trimmed when needed, just incase you are wondering there is also a verse on hair 1Corinthians 11:15.

I don't know if this was a help at all, but I just thought I would share this with you.

 

ChristianGurl...... I know exactly what you are talking about! I stopped wearing pants/shorts in 7th grade ( I am going into 10th this year) and it was hard, believe me! Everyone looked at me, and asked me why I wear skirts and stuff. When it was burning up out side and every other girl was wearing shorts as short as can be.... I was wearing a skirt down to at least my knees. Unfortunatly, one time in eighth grade, I let the devil and temptation over take me aand I wore a pair of shorts to school one day. That was the worse day of my life that year. Dancing and giving up rock music was given up that year too, and yes, people DID notice a change in me, which was great! But during my eighth grade year, all the teasing and everything became REALLY bad whereas one girl wanted to get in a fight with me because I was sick of her calling me names. So, last year, for ninth grade, I started going to a private christian school at my church. It has been alot easier for me at christian school, but I know girls that have been through public school fine. Just pray that the Lord will give you strength through it.
During my ninth grade year though, my one and only classmate was worldly in a way. She would talk about guys, guys, guys, bad music, seeing bad music, dancing and other worldly stuff and believe me, it was hard just to even keep a good testimoney there and not to start to talk about stuff and get in on the conversation so I wouldn't be walked down upon and stuff. I prayed every day that the Lord would gie me the strength and I learned to TRUST IN HIM!!!

Jamie

 

Abby,
I know how you feel about the temper and being perfect!! My brothers and sisters say "she's the goodie-goodie girl" but if I start yelling or anything (losing my temper while watching them) they say....well your the church girl, your not supposed to yell and scream.. And if I make a mistake, here it goes again..
I just pray every day that I don't lose my temper!!!

Jamie

 

Oh my, how I have to work on the temper! Oh, and my brother says the same thing, and so did my grandma before she got saved!
Basicaly, when I make the mistake of loseing my temper, I have to apologize to God, and the person, and have to try and explain that as a Christian, I'm not perfect. I'm just a sinner saved by grace, and the onley diffrence is, is that as saved people we are forgiven by God.
It's good to know God never gives up on us, no matter how awful a mistake we make, huh?
~Abby

 

i tried to stop wearing pants, but I kept getting arrested for "indecent exposure" everytime i went outside.

 

What world do you live in when pants vs. dresses is the biggest thing you have to worry about. Remember dresses over pants is a preference not a biblical doctrine.

 

Yes, but it is the descion the Lord has led us to. I recently read a very excellent sermon on this topic, and if I could remember the address, I would post it.
No, it may not be an outright Biblical doctrine, but the Bible speaks on modesty, and to us, dresses are a way of being modest.
Please remember that this is a youth forrum where yong people do not need to recieve discouragement.
We are striving in our lives to please Christ, and not man. We want to follow God's will in our lives, and I for one, feel that God has led me to hte descion to wear only dresses and skirts.
If you want to wear pant/shorts, that sort of thing, fine. It's between you and the Lord. But please respect us for our stand. We aren't to discourage the brethern {or sistern, as the forum seems to be proving! }
I mean this in the nicest way possible, so please don't mistake what I said.
IMHO, Abby

[ August 23, 2002, 05:26 PM: Message edited by: saved by grace 1999 ]

 

Hey Jamie and Abby!
When I was just a youngster, the Lord led my parents to the decision on dress, so I've been wearing dresses all my natural-born life. Folks will ask a lot about why I wear dresses all the time, and I tell then that the Lord commands us to be modest, even in our dress. I can't say I've ever really been scorned, but folks are perplexed a lot. I usually get a few sideway glances. You girls just keep sticking with it, and the Lord will bless you abundantly. Praying for you both! PM if you ever want to talk. Charity Grace

 

Charity, is your name really Charity Grace? That's beautiful!
Thankyou for your encouragement. We'll just keep going till the Lord calls us home.
~Abby

 

Someone mentioned Pauls discussion of meats, I just wanted to make a note of the scripture passage it came from Romans 14. And I agree that this would be a good passage for help in this situation, God Bless.
Murph

 

Granted, but God gives us all different convictions. Let's stick with the issue at hand, which is not pants v. dresses, but the fact that our sister in Christ is dealing with scorn from classmates.

ChristianGurl: Remember this one fact, God is always there, even when no one is not. When we think we can't make it is when God proves us wrong.

Keep your spirits up!

~Teresa~