Pray for my family

Two years ago this past May, my grandpa almost died of cancer. He had adrenal gland cancer, which from what I've heard is pretty rare. The doctors say he came within two weeks of dying (0nly the Lord knows) and that no patient they knew of lived longer than a year after the operation. Like I said, it's been over two years and every six months since then we've gotton good news; he's still in remission. Untill last week.
They found masses in his lungs and liver and somewhere else they didn't say. They've called in the cancer board, and by next week they'll tell him his "options" as they put it. But the thing is, if it is cancer my grandpa said he isn't going to do anything.
Now I'm pretty ditzy, dingy, blonde, slow, however you put it, but I do know cancer left untreated and without a miracle of God will kill you quick.
I know God's will is perfect, and I really want Him to have His way, I do. And I know He's in control, but when I let myself think of the possiblitly of my grandpa dying soon and I have the urge to become hysterical.
I want him to fight. I want him to live. God can heal him without medical help I know, but I also know he could very well die.
This man has been my father. He's helped raise me since I was four. He lead me to Christ. He's wanted to see me graduate highschool, and He's the one I want to give me away at my wedding day. He's the man I sing duets with in the car, the man who calls me "My Ibby", the one who jokes about cleaning his guns when I have my first date, the man who wants me to stay at home untill I'm thirty. Me and pa are so close, and I don't want to lose that. We have so many great memories and I don't want our time together to end anytime soon. I know I'm probably not trusting like I should, and maybe everything will be fine, but it dosn't sound good, and while I'm begging God for grace and asking Him to have His way, part of me still wants to cry "You can't have him yet! I need him!"
Pray for us. Pray that God DOES have His way, whatever that is, and that God will give us all grace in the coming week, whatever it yeilds.

 

I guess I should update this, although it's hard.
We got our options. Six months to a year with no plans for treatment. We did check alternative medicine but the doctor's weren't willing to try it, and frankly his risks of dieing were going to be speedup by the only treatment they thought might work. We asked if I could be a partial liver transplant donner for him. Even though we are a blood type match (I'm universal) they wern't willing to consider it.
I didn't know a person could get so sick so fast. The symptoms we noticed the first time he had cancer are returning. He tires so quickly and stays in bed a lot among other things.
My granmother is angry. Mostly that the Lord would allow this to happen. She keeps telling me. I guess because my grandpa dosn't want it disscussed around him, and she wouldn't tell her friends. She yells at me "Why did God do this to him? Why not me instead! He's good, served God, loves life. Why not some death row convict instead?!" At first I tried answering these questions. I told her God's ways didn't always make sense to us, because we didn't know His ultimate plan. I told her that He had mercey for the wicked as well. That she was living because it wasn't God's will for her to die now. Then she'd scream "Well I can't live with out him! We've been together more than half my life. I don't know how to live without him, and I don't want to!" I told her God would give us grace. She screamed that "I don't want His grace! I don't want His plan, and I can't pray His will be done, because I don't want him to die! I'd rather it be me!" So after that first conversation, I stop saying anything, just let her vent at me. I guess she's grieving now.
And in a way, I can see how she might feel. I wouldn't even want to think of losing someone I'd been with for forty-nine years almost. That would definatly require massive amounts of God's grace.
My grandpa overall is pretty upbeat. His death dosn't frighten for his sake, because he knows he's saved, but he worries about my grandmother and I. And he gets frustrated at times when he dosn't have strength for something he was once able to do. But if anything, he always seems to be laughing and joking and smileing.
Shortly after we found out I struggled with it. I wanted him to live so badly, but I also knew God probably had a diffrent plan. Finaly I told the Lord that no mater what happened I wanted His will to be done, but that I would need His grace and love more than ever. God graciously has answered that prayer. I'm at peace right now. I'll face his death when it comes, and I'm trusting God's grace to still be sufficient. The only thing is, even though I'm not angry or upset about this now, when I'm at home it's very tense, and disorderly. I can't show emotion around my grandparents because it depresses my grandpa (he asked me not to cry around him) and makes my grandmother cry harder, and almost make herself sick. All this tension just builds up and I find myself crying about strange things or at strange times. My nerves are so frazzled I jump when the phone rings. I think this has to do with the fact I'm getting maybe six hours of sleep a night, and working ten to twelve hours a day at the childrens home except on wenesdays which is when I do housework. And the weekends are crazier than the weeks. My arthritis is so bad right now I can't rest sitting or lying even though when I do this it's on lots of pillows (even driving) and I stand up and walk like I'm sixty. This isn't something I ever discuss with people, but say this to ya'll because I need prayer. I can't slowdown right now, and won't be able to for a long time. I need the physical endurance to continue doing these things.
My grandfather told me recently what he wanted me to sing at his funeral, and I almost lost it. But like I said, I don't cry at home because I can't. But I do when I'm driving, or cleaning at church. (I cried for two hours while I cleaned up the church tonight!) Mostly I cry for no apparent reason, but I have trouble stopping. I just pray and ask for grace, which God gives me, and it seems He always gives me just the right amount!
Please pray. Pray for us all. We REALLY need it.

 

He's getting much worse. The tumor in his liver is the biggest threat. He can stand to be touched on his stomach. He stays in bed most of the day now, and can't sit for a long time. He's not been able to sit through a church service for awhile. He and my grandmother are starting to get things settled before he goes Home.
His heart doctor found an anurisim (I can't spell) in his aeorta the other week, and even though that sounds bad, my grandpa hopes that's how he dies, so that it will be quick unlike the cancer.
Please keep us in prayer. God daily gives grace and strength. It's just hard to watch the strong man who used to do so much grow weaker each day.
~Miss Abby
Proverbs 31:30 KJB