Teens, Sexual Purity Pledges & Marriage

Gekko,

You have mis-applied scripture...you took Jesus' "hand to the plow" reference and applied it to sexual sins only. What if they gossip...willfully? What if they insult a Christian brother...willfully? And isn't all sin willful anyway? (It is--James 1:14).

If you are saying that a LIFESTYLE of constant rebellion indicates a strong possibility that one isn't saved, then OK. But I have news for ya...there have been plenty of Christians who have fallen in the area of sex. Committing lust, adultery, fornication, etc., does NOT indicate you are not saved...you might or might not be. But rather, it indicates that your relationship with God is either damaged (you are a Christian living in rebellion--and God's gonna punish you) or you're not saved.

But sexual sins don't AUTOMATICALLY mean you're not one of God's.

 

no, not all sins are willful... and i did not mean to apply that scripture to just sexual sin. sorry for that.

remember david saying in the psalms something like "forgive me of my secret sins" in other words... sins that we dont know happen... in a sense. we dont recognize it as such.

and im sorry if it seems im clouding the issue.

but i think you, Pastor G, have gotten the point across quite fine. salvation is not by pledge cards. and all that. great advertising by the way. God bless you and the ministry.

and i think im going to leave this discussion.

 

This is a natural response around here when we see people talking about their ministry and posting links to it. Several times people come and post such things and then never show back up to discuss them.

I appreciate the fact that you have stayed around to discuss the issues that you have addressed.

 

I still like my webcomic idea...

 

There used to be a NYC subway ad campaign in comic form - Julio and Marisol (linkie). Of course, it was pro-condom as an AIDS preventative education ad.

Except since they already have the matches, shouldn't they know where the fire extinguisher is, how to use it, when to get out, how to call 911 and the other rules of fire safety? Refusing to teach them what to do when a fire starts, won't prevent the fire from starting but it may save their lives and the lives of everyone else in the building.

 

When I was younger in youth group they had a special sermon on sexual purity. We had to watch some corny videos and listen to the dangers of STDs. They also had the pledge cards. I didn't sign one, because I thought it was silly. If it is supposed to be a decision that you make for yourself, I didn't see how some card you make when you are 13 can help.
Everyone said "when I lost my purity I felt like something was missing inside".
I guess everyone is different.. I didn't feel that way at all. Although up till I was around 17 or 18 I still said that I wouldn't have sex until I was married. I was in a situation though that is nothing like what most american kids are in.

Here is my question..
Say I was 25, ready to marry, and had kept my virginity. Seriously, what are the chances that you find a girl that you love who is also a virgin? In my mind they are very very small.

Plus I would want to marry a girl who I could relate with. A girl who has been around the world and seen things that not everyone sees, a girl who isn't naive about what is around her. I have almost nothing in common with the girls I meet at church. To me most of them aren't even desirable.

I believe in God with my whole heart, but I see so many young christians (and old) living in their own little worlds. It's sad..

 

I was a 25-year-old virgin who married a virgin, so it absolutely can happen.

SEC

 

A few thoughts:

-I, too, can't stand shabbily done presentations. It's my biggest pet peeve. If you believe you have truth, present it in the most excellent way you can to your audience.

-It's not about marrying a 25 year-old virgin. It's about marrying someone who is committed to God and is now living pure. Maybe they did mess up at 16. But God forgives. I wouldn't counsel someone your age to 'disqualify' a girl simply because of her past...as long as it is a past that has been forgiven and turned from. BUT, it's a wonderful thing when two people are able to learn God's gift of sexuality from each other exclusively for a lifetime. Having said that, thank God for forgiveness and grace!

Maybe at 25 you don't meet a bunch of virgins. But there ARE girls out there who are now living pure lives, who have chosen to treasure God's gift of sex, and even if they fell earlier, are going to wait this time around.

(one word of caution: One's sexual history can factor in to the marital relationship. Yet another important reason for good premarital counseling.)

-So you want a girl that's not naive. You like assertive and learned women. Great! That has nothing to do with whether or not they've had sex. Don't confuse sexual history with personality traits.

-"Church girls" are not monolithic. Meet more of them.

 

I think it is best to let the parents teach about sex and to make certain that we teach and encourage Biblical principles. Also I try to teach them about being aware of their environment and to keep themselves out of any compromising situations they must never put themselves in these situations. I never send them out for any activity, visitation or game...nothing in less than a 3 person team (usually same sex) [NOTE: plus I pick the teams to mix them up and not be clique-ish ] and this keeps them more aware adn out of trouble. I trust more people than I should but I also know the Devil will use any good situation to cause trouble and to trip up a young person and take them from the future that God has for them to do. Wanna help a young person keep themselves pure? Keep them out of questionable situations!! Young Man wanna know how to not have sex before marriage? Don't ever be alone with a young lady even to hold hands!!

As a young person, I took advantage of everything I could...to hold hands or kiss or whatever... even to the point of dishonoring service such as the puppet ministry or bus ministry...because people trusted me without any thought of human nature or teaching me to not let myself be in a those situations. Oh I heard all the right Bible stories and 'practical things' but without a way to stay out of situations and I allowed the flesh to take advantage of the 'opportunities'. How sad and what a waste for so many years!!
But Praise the Lord...HE IS FAITHFUL!! And now as a Leader I want to teach from my mistakes and to give them every chance for a successful Christian life!!

 

say...I noticed in all the ministry materaials made on this topic love to dwell on words like "beautiful", "wonderful", "fuffilling", etc, when it comes to sex. Is it wrong to use the word "fun," as does everyone else?

 

AMEN!! I AGREE 100% with all you said.

 

Gekko do you remember being a teenager and being pressured to go along with the gang?? I do. The peer pressure we went through is nothing compared to what the kids are going through today. Gekko, instead of saying that if the kids were true converts they wouldn't fall away, you need to pray for them. Prayer is a powerful tool Gekko.
Faithgirl

 

:applause: :applause: :thumbs: My sediments exactly. Well said.

 

I am 18 and I have never even thought about sex, I'm saveing myself for when after I marry my fiance`.:thumbs:

 

Joshua. I am so proud of you. I know that God is proud of you as well. You will setthe proper aexample for others trying to do the right thing.

 

Thank you faithgirl46! :type:

 

I hope that I'm not barging in here, but forgive me if I am. I took a purity pledge when I was 14 (now 15) with 3 other teens in my church and I haven't regretted it. I'm very modest when it comes to clothing and certain TV shows that show unappropriate content. When I had to get a physical for Youth Camp last year the nurse asked me to put on one of those gown thingys so that the doc could check to see if my back was growing straight. Needless to say I started crying. Although I'm not faced day-to-day with other people asking me if I've ever had sex or kissed a boy since I don't go to public school anymore, but it is still challenging to not think about those things especially with how TV commercials or TV shows for that matter, are anymore. It isn't a problem for me to NOT think about those things because God helps me not to think about them. I am happy to say (I'm not trying to brag) that I have never had a boyfriend, held hands, hugged, or kissed a boy before. Keeping physically pure isn't as hard as everyone says it is (for me at least). The problem for teens today, in my opinion, is that they can't keep their minds pure; they let them wander into those types of thoughts which then gets them into trouble. Being physically pure is just as important as being mentally pure.