Divorce?

Divorce is not an option for my husband and I either. We have a 3yr old daughter, and I cannot imagine any reason that we would separate. We are both committed to each other, and place God at the top of our marriage. As long as we keep the Lord first, everything will turn out just fine. My husband however, was married before. He was not a Christian at the time and his wife cheated on him. She left him for her boyfriend 30 days after signing the papers for a new house and financing all of her bills into the house payment. He got a bad deal. I believe that adultery is an acceptable and biblical cause for divorce.

 

I started to vote, but I realized the poll really wasn't aimed at a single, never married gal like me. I haven't studied the subject for myself in enough detail to feel qualified to state a definite opinion anyway.

 

Does it count if you divorce the same man twice?

 

markin' topic

 

I have been married to a very (wonderful & caring & loving)man for the past 34 years and without any doubts, reservations or hesitations would marry this most wonderful person again.We have most definitely argued/fussed and disagreed but going into any marriage I feel that a couple's common sense will tell us that there is not a perfect marriage and we all know this going into a marriage. A marriage takes lots of determined work and lots of give and take and tons of understanding and sometimes just simply a listening ear. I can say however that my husband and I never argued/fussed in front of our 2 daughter's but they definitely knew we were human and that we did argue and disagreed on numerous issues and on numerous occassions.

 

I have never been married so's how could I get divorced! my aunt and uncle got divorced, but only because my uncle had an abusesive side, but he had gotten help with that and they were getting back together, I think, but my uncle died last October. He had throat cancer.

 

I got divorced from my first husband before I got saved. We were both at fault. But since getting saved the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful husband!

 

This is a very hurtful discussion for many Christians on this Board who are divorced and I am surprised that it was brought up again. I wish we had a technique to "bury" threads the same as to "Bump" them.

 

I remember this thread and the poll. I don't know why it would be brought up again either. Unless some people just thrive on strife.

 

I am surprised at how many BB members have been hurt by "D".

§ue

 

John MacArthur has an excellent series on the subject of divorce - good listening for all believers!

 

Strange Last post was 8 months ago, now it's back. Why not start another poll?

 

That's what I was thinking.

 

I found myself with 20 minutes today to come up with a readable essay in class, and I just HAPPENED to pick divorce!
Enjoy. Negative comments go the right, what's left can stay.

BTW it's a mix of truth/fiction, don't take it as literal!

**************
A Tragedy of International Proportion

What is the driving force that pushes a small-town woman toward marriage with a foreigner, only to end up in a not-so-flamboyant divorce? I believe the strongest contributing factor to be food.
In small towns, a person is forced to eat the local cuisine, the menu of which consists of local fruits, vegetables, and an occasional chicken. No true foodie wants to live this way! This explains my reasoning behind marrying the first Asian chef to grace the countryside town of my dwelling. He brought into our marriage the ability to cook such exotic dishes as Kung Pao shrimp, sweet and sour pork, and beef lo mein. Who wouldn't have been enraptured at the prospect?
Much to my dismay, I found that I wasn't the only person in the marriage who entertained the fanciful idea that foreign food was crucial to a stable relationship. Imagine my horror upon being told by my husband that despite his parents protests over his marriage to a foreigner, he was willing to overlook them, knowing that he could expect three exotic meals a day, consisting of the local cuisine. Horror dawned upon my very being as I realized that the person chosen to prepare these meals was to be none other than myself! I had married a chef for a reason, and it never occurred to me that my spouse had married for the same reasons I did. What about true love? We came to an agreement that I would cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Well, it wasn't exactly an agreement, it was a demand I caved into upon the announcement of husband and family that a woman's job was to prepare food for the household.

One fine morning my husband woke up to find that his breakfast wasn't waiting for him. He shook me awake to notify me of this most disturbing happening, and I stumbled into the kitchen completely panicked, wondering what possibile foods could be found to fill his waiting bowl and spoon. My eyes roved across the cans and boxes until a tin of oatmeal caught my attention. It could be prepared quickly, but my husband had made it clear in the past that oatmeal in and of itself was not fancy enough. Then I remembered that he still had no decent idea of what an appropriate American breakfast was! I grinned and brought out the oatmeal, stirred in the peas, and threw a few strawberries in for good measure. Why not? Asians cook with fruit all the time! When I set the bowl in front of him and was questioned as to what it was called, I simply replied: "it's a great American delicacy". He grunted and ate every last bite.

It was the beginning of the demise of our marriage. It was less than a year later when he learned, thanks to an American worker at his restaurant, that oatmeal with strawberries and peas was definitely not a delicacy, and decided to exact his revenge. I was pregnant and craving watermelon. At the store I picked out a juicy, deep, red chunk of the seedless variety, and sat at the table with fork in hand, only to be bum rushed by a screaming man running past and snatching the plate of fruit from in front of my face. He then dumped it in the waste-basket. Stunned, I asked what was wrong. "ou cannot to eat this thing, this how to say...watermelon, no good for baby, every Chinese, he know this the truth!" This was cause for a critical meltdown. I sat in the corner and cried, the craving for watermelon overwhelming me, my husband standing like a protective quarterback over the garbage can. He finally convinced me that my child would be born deformed if I at the watermelon at this state of my pregnancy, and I gave up the delicious treat. It wasn't long after that, when his boss informed me that the watermelon folklore was most untrue.

This was all out war. For years we went back and forth over the food issue, trying to convince each other that the unacceptable was fine cuisine. He finally won one day when he brought home a covered dish that smelled absolutely wonderful. Pregnant yet again, I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into whatever lay in that aromatic dish. He set it on the table and headed toward the shower, warning me that I must wait until he was done so that we could eat dinner together. The minute I heard the shower turn on I raced toward the dish and ripped off the aluminum foil covering, only to find a baked pigs head, complete with beady little eyes and crunchy, hairy ears staring up at me. The mouth ahd been twisted to form a leering smile. Peals of laughter erupted from the shower as my screams pierced every bit of open air in that tiny apartment, and I knew that after four years, he was victorious and now reigned over our food war..

After much discussion on the food issue, we compromised and decided to cook for ourselves. Tension filled the home as he tossed together kung-pao shrimp and boiled up fruits and sugars for delicate sweet and sour sauces. I fought back with roasted chickens and fesh vegetable sautes. We did this for four more years, and finally it was enough.

I got on the internet and looked up a state as far away from ours as I could find, and browsed thorugh the lists of restaurants that each town had. When I found oone with a long list of Asian restaurants, I moved there. The last I heard, my ex-husband had opened up an American restaurant. Occasionally I consider the possibility of calling the Department of Immigration and Naturalization and reporting the the man came to the United States and to our marriage under false pretenses, but then I'd have to admit that it wasn't exactly love that drove this small-town girl to marry a Chinese chef. Besides, since when has anyone's citizenship been revoked over their refusal to cook food for their spouse? It's a nice thought, but impractical for all intents and purposes when it comes to matters of citizenship.

I guess we both got what we deserved. I just hope that for other small-town girls, they will read this as a bit of warning. Always, ALWAYS consider moving to a bigger town rather than marrying a man for his cooking skills!

Gina Locke
© 2005

 

Gina

That was too funny! Have you got your own newspaper column yet?

 

Gina