Wedding Vows

I know a Pastor who will refuse to marry a couple unless the wife includes "obey" in the vows.

I'd be interested to know how old your source is for marriage vows. Marriage vows for centuries have included "obey". It's only in the last century, with an increase in Feminism where that has been omitted to placate loud, rebellious women often of the pink hair variety.

For example wedding vows in the Book of Common prayer used by the Anglican Church has some of the earliest Christian wedding vows going back to the 1500s go as follows:

Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

 

I suppose she could've tried to make a case saying that as potential Regent of a country she can't be given to obeying her husband on certain matters. That'd be a hard case to make IMO, but perhaps that's where she was coming from?

Either than, or she was just a plain Feminist.

 

Sure, if you want a civil marriage and you don't think that God deserves honor, and if you believe that marriage is a non-weighty, trivial thing then it certainly can be nothing more than a signed license. You can also be a Christian bound for Heaven and the New Earth and yet never be baptized, but you'll sure be a sorry example of a Christian.

Christians have had marriage vows for hundreds of years precisely because:
1. The vows are made to the other spouse AND the vows are made before God in the vein of Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 AND the vows are made before others as an external showing of the Bride and Groom's faith and submission to God.
2. The vows are a binding covenant for all of life between two people and God.

Modern culture thinks marriage is all about the bride and groom. It's not. The marriage ceremony and vows is about God first and foremost and the mutual submission of both the bridge and groom to God who created the Institution of the Family. Quite fitting that a culture that values marriage so little has allowed the Supreme Court to call two men engaging in sin a "marriage".

 

Sounds like you've seen a mixture of Christian and Non-Christian weddings then.

No guarantees, but vowing before God and other people and your spouse makes it a Covenant. Which does indeed help a Godly and Biblical marriage.

Yes, a Godly man and a Godly woman can get married that way and God is honored to some degree just like a Christian can be Saved and refuse to be Baptized. Is it possible? Yes. Is it good? No.

To each, God's Word. Not their own preferences. A marriage is not about the groom and the bride at all.

There is indeed. The Bible tells the husband to love and lead his wife as Christ loves and leads the Church.
The Bible tells the wife to respect, obey, and be a keeper of the home. Clear, indisputable Biblical standards for marriage.

The MARRIAGE vows need to encompass God's ordained-from-the-foundation-of-the-earth MARRIAGE roles

Wedding attire, wedding cakes and wedding songs all need to bring honor to God. There's countless Biblical standards for each of them.