Standards for dating?

I can't stand gossiping, so if someone is talking negative to me about another I know,I stop them and say. Have you talked to this person about this problem, or let them know it sounds like they are gossiping, or try and stear them away from the negativity by saying something nice about them.

Now if a friend is talking about someone I do not know to me that is different, then I try to help the person I am talking to work out thier problems with that person and try to see the possitive. The times I struggle is if someone is talking about someone that I MYSELF am having a hard time with and they agree and so are they, that is hard.

 

Don't you think that you should also remove any possible temptation from the people actually working together. I know of people who every one thought were the strongest christians. Then it is discovered that the preach and a chuch worker were having an affair. or the case of the christian singers a few years back. just don't leave things up to the "strong" will to do right of those involved. set it up so there is never even a temptation.

 

Baptmom,
This is the quote I was referencing in my original post that you replied to I think. This is a very long thread who knows It was not from You...

I have seen too many scenarios where a supposed "man of God" made up rules for his congregation or himself that seem to ignore the real sin, which is the thought life and the lack of self-control. Many people will create rules simply to avoid gossip, which you can't avoid, rather than deal with their own sin, and the sin of those who gossip.

I am not against being careful, being a married man, I am cautious to make sure I am acting in a way that is above board, but I do have many opportunites to interact with other women who have become very good friends and co-laborers, and I think to avoid that contact in order to protect myself from a lack of self-control is the wrong approach, IMO, God will do amazing things to do an end run around our man-centered behavioristic methods of protecting ourselves from real sin by creating a protective layer of things we call sin that are not.

I know that is not clear, but perhaps you see where I am coming from? I think your caution is commendable, but it can be taken too far, and everyone is different, we can't judge someone necessarily on the basis of "I wouldn't do that"

Dealing with Gossip is the #1 problem in Churches, and its the last one people want to deal with. Cause its ugly and it hurts, and when you deal with it, you stir up huge messes that most pew-sitters would rather you just left alone. I think Gossip is even more insidious in the church than sexual sin which is unfortunately too prevelant as well.

I remember my mom's little note next to the phone when I was a kid. "Is it True, Is it Kind, Is it necessary?" And I would add, Is this the person I should be talking to about it if those three ARE true.

 

How does that work? Satan is pretty clever about presenting temptation inside our little fences.

and if he doesn't, perhaps God will allow it to demonstrate the lack of dealing with the hidden, private sins that we all face, and which are much harder to deal with than ones that can supposedly be avoided just by deciding you won't be alone with a girl in a room.

 

I think the better approach is:

Set it up so there temptation is absent to the reasonable person.

To the unreasonable person, they will see temptation in the most benign sitatuation.

 

I was fairly brief, StefanM did a pretty good job of clarifying what I was saying. I was merely giving a more accurate and thourough interpretation of what Paul meant by the statement, its not as broad as many have construed it to be.

Here is StefanM's version of what I meant.

 

You talk about gossip being the enemy ... SATAN is the ENEMY. Gossip & improper behaviour are just some of the tools he uses.

 

I agree, clearly, sexual impropriety and those who like to gossip about it and have a haughty spirit about those who are "so much more sinful then they are" are probably the two most sinister infiltrations of Satan in the Church.

Unless you count women wearing pants and going to the show, I guess I forgot about how evil those are

 

Congratulations!

The link didn't work, but I bet you got some beautiful photos any way!

God bless

Wayne

 

Congrats CL!! Links didnt work for me, any of them. I wish you the best!

 

You have to go to your Kodak Easyshare and mark your pictures "public" or we won't be able to see them. Right now you have them marked "private" and it won't let us view them.

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

Once you make them PUBLIC, you have to enter new URL's or LINKS.

I'm still getting the error message.

If you upload them, be sure and keep within the designated BB image size which is no larger than the BB logo at the top of every page.

 

Kara -
I got the error meesage the first time but it worked the second time.
Beautiful!!! Congratulations and blessings to you in your new life together!