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A new last name!

Salty

Salty

20,000 Posts Club
Administrator
Most women in marriages (79%) say they took their spouse’s last name when they got married. Another 14% kept their last name, and 5% hyphenated both their name and their spouse’s name.
Link for the above info:

If you are a pastor and a couple told you the bride will keep her madien name.
What would be your response?

If you are the Dad, what would you say to your son or daughter?

Open for discussion
 
Salty

Salty

20,000 Posts Club
Administrator
OK! lets get back to the OP
here it is again!
Most women in marriages (79%) say they took their spouse’s last name when they got married. Another 14% kept their last name, and 5% hyphenated both their name and their spouse’s name.
Link for the above info:

If you are a pastor and a couple told you the bride will keep her madien name.
What would be your response?

If you are the Dad, what would you say to your son or daughter?

Open for discussion
 
Ascetic X

Ascetic X

Well-Known Member
Salty said:
OK! lets get back to the OP
here it is again!
Most women in marriages (79%) say they took their spouse’s last name when they got married. Another 14% kept their last name, and 5% hyphenated both their name and their spouse’s name.
Link for the above info:

If you are a pastor and a couple told you the bride will keep her madien name.
What would be your response?

If you are the Dad, what would you say to your son or daughter?

Open for discussion
Click to expand...
I would ask the bride why she wants to keep her maiden name!
 
Kai

Kai

Active Member
I found it rather flattering that my ex-wife chose to keep my last name. :Biggrin

Though, I’m sure it was just to avoid the hassle of having to update her passport and driver’s license.
 
Last edited:
Mike B

Mike B

Active Member
Salty said:
If you are a pastor and a couple told you the bride will keep her maiden name.
What would be your response?

If you are the Dad, what would you say to your son or daughter?
Click to expand...


Whether I was Dad or pastor, my question to them would be..WHY? dontknow.gif

Does she have some famousness to protect, like Taylor Swift, or is it simply because
"I am woman, hear me roar"?
 
Ascetic X

Ascetic X

Well-Known Member
Kai said:
I found it rather flattering that my ex-wife chose to keep my last name. :Biggrin

Though, I’m sure it was just to avoid the hassle of having to update her passport and driver’s license.
Click to expand...
I would be disgusted and angry. Since we are divorced, she should not hang onto my last name. We are no longer one flesh.
 
Kai

Kai

Active Member
Ascetic X said:
I would be disgusted and angry. Since we are divorced, she should not hang onto my last name. We are no longer one flesh.
Click to expand...

In the eyes of God—not the state—we are still one flesh. She can get remarried if she wants, but I intend to stay single for the remainder of my days.

Fortunately, we maintain a cordial relationship.
 
Ascetic X

Ascetic X

Well-Known Member
Kai said:
In the eyes of God—not the state—we are still one flesh. She can get remarried if she wants, but I intend to stay single for the remainder of my days.

Fortunately, we maintain a cordial relationship.
Click to expand...
I do not know your situation, but I do not think in the eyes of God a divorced couple are still one flesh.

My wife cheated on me repeatedly. I divorced her for adultery, sexual immorality.

I much later married another woman, and we became one flesh.
 
JonC

JonC

Moderator
Moderator
I would have nothing to say. There are many reasons a woman might keep her maiden name. It would not be what I would want in my marriage, but I have been married 37 years and my wife has my lady name.
 
Kai

Kai

Active Member
Ascetic X said:
I do not know your situation, but I do not think in the eyes of God a divorced couple are still one flesh.
Click to expand...

Perhaps someone could kick off a fresh thread where I can dive deeper into that topic, but honestly, my ex and I have always had a pretty friendly dynamic, so I’ve never felt bothered that she decided to hold onto my last name. I understand that it was simply a matter of convenience for her.

Besides, if she ties the knot with her new partner down the road, her name will change anyway.
 
Salty

Salty

20,000 Posts Club
Administrator
Kai said:
Perhaps someone could kick off a fresh thread where I can dive deeper into that topic, but honestly, my ex and I have always had a pretty friendly dynamic, so I’ve never felt bothered that she decided to hold onto my last name. I understand that it was simply a matter of convenience for her.

Besides, if she ties the knot with her new partner down the road, her name will change anyway.
Click to expand...
KMan - go ahead and start said thread!
 
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Salty

Salty

20,000 Posts Club
Administrator
JonC said:
I would have nothing to say. There are many reasons a woman might keep her maiden name. It would not be what I would want in my marriage, but I have been married 37 years and my wife has my lady name.
Click to expand...
So what reasons do you think a married man would want to keep her madien name?
As I mentioned before the only thing I can really think of - is for professional reasons.
 
canadyjd

canadyjd

Well-Known Member
What is the reason for the wife to take the husband’s last name?

To proclaim to all she is now a wife? No longer available to court? Then how about the husband also take the wife’s name (hyphenated) so all the women know he’s no longer available?

To give their children the father’s name as an inheritance? (During a time when only male children received an inheritance (the married daughter received her husbands inheritance)

Personally, i have yet to find a passage of scripture giving a pastor the authority to marry anyone, so i wouldn’t offer advice on a name change, one wsy or another.

But i might say…. How about…. The loving couple stand before God, n:ked and unafraid as Adam did with Eve, asked God to bless their union, then live as husband and wife?

Have a big party to celebrate so all your friends and family know you are married.

Go to the courthouse, get a judge (for secular reasons) to sign the paper that allows the State to recognize the union as well.

Save a lot of money and….

Then live happily ever after

Peace to you
 
Reynolds

Reynolds

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Salty said:
Most women in marriages (79%) say they took their spouse’s last name when they got married. Another 14% kept their last name, and 5% hyphenated both their name and their spouse’s name.
Link for the above info:

If you are a pastor and a couple told you the bride will keep her madien name.
What would be your response?

If you are the Dad, what would you say to your son or daughter?

Open for discussion
Click to expand...
I wouldn't marry the couple.
I would advise the man to not marry the woman.

I can think of one exception. Real story of a woman MD married a man with last name of Frankenstein. She did not take his last name. I can see where DR Frankenstein might be a career killer.
 
JonC

JonC

Moderator
Moderator
Salty said:
So what reasons do you think a married man would want to keep her madien name?
As I mentioned before the only thing I can really think of - is for professional reasons.
Click to expand...
A married man?

A few reasons for women. The tradition of women taking their husband's last name originated in 14th century England.

BUT the global norm is women keeping their madien name.

The US is a nation of many cultures and trafitions.

Why should Americans who hold Greek, Spanish, Italian, French, etc. cultural traditions abandon that culture?

The United States is a "melting pot" which assumes "melting" (identifying as Americans). But this does not mean abandoning one's culture and traditions.
 
JonC

JonC

Moderator
Moderator
Reynolds said:
I wouldn't marry the couple.
I would advise the man to not marry the woman.

I can think of one exception. Real story of a woman MD married a man with last name of Frankenstein. She did not take his last name. I can see where DR Frankenstein might be a career killer.
Click to expand...
It is a cultural thing (not a Christian thing).

Britan developed the custom of taking the husband's last name and omitting the madien name in the 14th century.

But this is not the custom of most of the world, including many Americans.

It is not the custom of most Christians.

So why would a Christian pastor refuse to marry a Christian couple who does not hold that English tradition?

Such a refusal is placing unwarranted value on one specific secular tradition.

Refusing to marry a Christian couple for holding Italian, Spanish, French, Hispanic, Greek, etc. traditions rather than submitting to British tradition is not (IMHO) correct for a pastor.

Weddings are typically a traditional event. It is about the groom, bride and God. A pastor has no right to place his own secular traditions in the mix.
 
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