Youth groups and other modern ideas?

And yet, we come back to the point Helen made earlier: What about those youth whose parents refuse to come to church? Refuse counseling to teach them to be better, more godly parents?

Do we just tell those kids, "oh well; we're not going to have a youth group, so I guess you're just outta luck"?

 

That's a good point,Don.

 

Pur youth group has a parent council, the council, and the youth represenative, and the youth learder make group decisions. In that way the parents know what the youth are doing(what bible study material, any outings they might have, whatever), and have some control. They also have out reach Wednesday nights,where they go out and invite unsaved friends to church and youth group, and witness to them. Then they have one Wednesaday a month where they have an outing to which unsaved friends are invited to go, they get to interact with christian kids, and the youth learder and parent chaperones, find out christians aren't boring but like to laugh and have fun(clean fun) too. We have several kids coming to church regurarlly becasue of it, and several saved.
I think you just have to trust your youth leader, we voted for ours, people got to know him first. We did have one youth leader who was also the music leader and the pastor finally had to ask him to leave. Even we were unhappy with him, it did leave my kids with no real youth leader for the rest of the time they were youth (my youngest was a senior when we got the current one). He teaches the kids well, and is passionate about being a christian. Did I say that right?

 

I had to chuckle at something Pastor Bob said. His reason is the EXACT reason homeschooling produces kids who are better socialized than a lot of public school kids, who have only been with their own age groups for twelve or more years!

Homeschooling produced kids, here, who could communicate with and enjoy people of all ages, older and younger than they.

But a youth group once a week in the evenings was also a wonderful thing. Kids their own age by the masses! And the focus was, at the least, growing up safely and morally and, at the most, living a life dedicated to God.

After having me as their teacher all day long, we were all glad to have some time off! And at a youth group or group activity I knew they were safe, chaparoned, and that the kids were being held to a standard of behavior I approved of. That is the LEAST. The Bible studies often produced some very thoughtful responses.

For homeschooled kids, too, the youth groups sort of reassured them that everyone at that age feels confused and a little scared to grow up. Knowing they weren't alone was a positive thing, too.

Since I was also single for a good many of those years, the male influence was extremely valuable for my own children.

Church was together; my kids helped in various classrooms during Sunday School time (they, being homeschooled with a brother like Chris were not at all afraid of changing diapers in the nursery!) or attended their own Sunday School classes, and we were all in church proper together for the full time once they were nine or ten years old (yes, I appreciated the 'children's church' for the younger ones who got so restless during the sermon).

And church activities -- performances, pot lucks, picnics, retreats -- were always as a family. So it's not like they were missing out on being part of the whole church family.

But as for the youth groups, I was consistently grateful for them. There was one small one that Bianca tried a few years ago and quit after two times because she told me the pastor was like a cult leader and wanted them all to think the same thoughts he thought. That doesn't go over with most teens! I was not surprised that that youth group stayed very small and eventually dissolved.

While we're at it, I want to put in a plug for younger youth groups such as AWANA. I did have an objection to the concentration on competition with the model car races and such, and ended up avoiding the AWANA "Olympics" like the plague as a mother of handicapped children -- I think these should be re-thought in the light of how we are expected to raise our children biblically. But the actual Wednesday night meetings were well-loved by all of my kids.

I think they would have lynched me if I had volunteered to help, though -- they had enough of me everyday! And I appreciated the time to simply sit and be a grown-up by myself!

 

No. We do not put all children into the 12th grade and expect them to eventually get it. I think it is wise and proper to separate by age groups for some of the services. It is all part of building a firm foundation.

I grew up in a church totally opposed to the concept...and still are. I knew more about the second coming than I did about how to successfully avoid the temptations I would face as a young person and ended up making some terrible mistakes. I spent countless hours day dreaming or coloring because what the preacher was saying was beyond my ability to understand or completely irrelevant to what I was facing in my life.

My dad who is a deacon in the church has seen the impact of a good youth ministry on my kids. It changed his mind and motivated him to try to persuade the others.

 

P.S.- While most of us here probably disciple our children to one extent or another, not all homes do. My dad was saved when I was about 6. Spiritually, he is only about a year older than I am... he was unprepared to lead our family biblically. Our very conservative, traditional IFB did very little to train him in this way.

 

The problem is that churches are failing to equip the parents to teach and guide their children biblically. The church says,bring your kids to us and we will teach everybody,while that can be helpful at times,it relieves the parents of the God given role of being the spiritual teachers to their children. If churches would teach the correct role of the parents,we would be functioning more correctly as families and churches.

If there are lost kids coming to a youth group,then having mentors for them and doing everything we can to go to the parents and share Christ with them would be a great oppurtunity. But,the church should not take over the role of the parents,which does happen,intentionally or not,it happens.

I've beeen in a SBC all my life(I'm 34)-I've been in youth groups,taught in youth dept....a lot of sinful things go on in *church youth groups*. So,I think there may be better options out there....

Our church does have a student ministry. It is unique,in that they memorize books of the Bible,I mean whole books...they actually go pretty in depth as the youth pastor leads expositorally through books of the bible as their are memorizing. I think they have a retreat in the fall,a mission trip in the summer, a father daughter banquet in the Spring,and a son/father deal,too. Other than that,there is no fluff....but,the kids are learning the Bible. Is it the most popular youth group in the city? No way...much more going on at other churches,but it is a worthy one. I still am unsure about the whole age segregation thing. I have good friends that attend bible classes on Sun morning with their entire family,the kids do not go to separate classes...I'm not sure where I stand on that.

 

The church, the pastor, the youth pastor--none of these should ever replace the parents, but work with the parents (as has been stated repeatedly in this thread, so I'm just beating a dead horse).

Whenever I've been asked to work with teens, I've always made it clear to both the parents and the teens: I will NEVER know your kids better than you do. If your teen tells me something that you need to know about, I will tell you about it. But I'll also act as mediator, so that the teen doesn't have to worry about mom or dad going ape-crazy on them.

Yes, churches that are focusing on seeing souls saved and reaching out to the community need youth programs. And I don't mean "come out to our youth pizza party, eat pizza, goof off, and go home" type stuff. Meaningful, growing, God-centered type of events. Right now, I've restructured my teen class to focus on growing teens into adult christians. We sing hymns, we pass around an offering plate, etc.; and we talk about why we're doing those things. We have get-togethers for go-carts, pizza, stuff like that; but it's always centered around a devotional from me or one of the young men in the class, and focuses on growing the bonds between the teens as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Anyway, that's my two cents. I'm done.

[ November 27, 2002, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: Don ]

 

When we lived in Calif. the church we attended had a wonderful, inclusive youth group. My children were too young to be part, but I was very impressed with the strong Biblical foundation and the focus on service it had.

Now living in central/southern Ohio, it is very different culturally and extremely cliquish. It has been quite disappointing. The best group by far has been the Mennonite teens and the non-Christian homeschool group. So I guess it depends on where one lives and what's available.

 

Our church places a lot of emphasis on the youth group. We are a small church, but we have a youth minister.

Many of our youth are dedicated Christians whose parents do not attend church. In fact some of these parents have been led to the Lord through our Youth group.

The ones who have parents in church bring their friends.

This is a very good and important program in our church.

 

I agree that it is parental responsibility to disciple their children.

It is also our responsibility to reach and disciple others.

 

From my own experience growing up, I was benefitted from being a part of the youth group. My parents had a very shallow belief in God, and most certainly not interested in discipling.

I am thankful for adults with children who were interested in me. Without it, I would not know God.

 

Our church does this, even with children.

 

But it sometimes is only geared to adults. It would be nice to include the whole.

 

Parents are the God-ordained youth ministers. Anyone else in youth work are servants to the parents to help them raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The form and course of study in Youth ministry is mapped out in Titus 2:3-6. It should not be co-ed. Woman should teach the girls and men the boys.

 

I didn't have a good male role model at home, therefore I need the male model at church. I think it is vice versa with the boys.

 

Saggy,
I understand your position that we are to disciple others outside of our family. And I hope God will continue to use you in reaching those outside of the Church. However, for those in the Body we are to disciple our own.
I also understand about not having a good father. I did not either. But, as Aaron said the Word teaches us that it is supposed to male to male and female to female in the Body.
Also there is a verse in the Psalms that says, "He sets the lonely in families." I cannot remember the exact verse.
BTW, You have a sweet way of writing.

HCL

[ November 28, 2002, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Headcoveredlady ]

 

Thank you, HCL.



If God sets the lonely in families, then that means man and women and both are to teach the child. Therefore, if that thought is carried over to the church, then "mother" and "father" roles are in the church.

We all need to step up to the task of doing the teaching, and if this is what you teach, there needs to be more men stepping up to the task because there is a major lacking when it comes to men teaching boys and men.

 

I agree with you Saggy that there is a lack of men who step up to their God-given roles. But, I am encouraging that women help them by stepping back, and that of course is another thread in itself.

HCL