Who wears the pants in YOUR family?

(Dear, who wears the pants in our family?....)

I do.

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I go with the post above about Ephesians 5. And don't forget: Genesis tells us that Eve was created as a "help meet," not a slave....

 

I'd have to say that my dad wears the pants. I wish I could say that in their 20 years of marriage, they never fought, but they do. I was so down one time because of the arguing and back biting that I told my mom I would not get married if that was all there was to it. Thank God for Grandparents who first love Him and then each other. They don't always agree, and sometimes Grandpa makes a decision that my Gramma isn't exactly happy with, but Gramma listens to him. The biggest one recently was when she needed eye surgery for cataracts. She and my Grandpa had planned on going to the mountains, so she scheduled her surgery for the week after they got back. Papa called the doctor and had him move it up. She was upset at first, but she knows that he did it because he was not going to have her delivering mail when she couldn't see. They missed that trip to the mountains (this was last October) but next month they're going to Hawaii (and missing my birthday ) My mom said that she's miss my birthday for Hawaii too

 

My wife and I both wear pants, but I am head of the household. Jesus is CEO.

 

Hi,
I just thought I'd join in. Who wears the pants in our family? My husband. Was the word obey in our wedding vows. Yes What year did we get married? 74 I can't say we have never had an argument, but I can say that neither one of us has used the words, "Well, I'll just leave and we will get a divorce."
We entered this marriage knowing that it was a life time commitment.
Rosa

 

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by preacher:
Joshua,
How is your view Biblical when it clearly teaches that the Wife is to obey, not the husband? I'm the Head of the family, just as Christ is the Head of the Church.He does'nt
"obey" His Bride, the Bride obeys him.
I know we are "one flesh", & even one mind,
but on ANY questions, I am to be the final authority as long as I'm following scripture.
I've made it clear to Agee that if I say something's to be done & it goes against the Word, then she not only has the right, but the DUTY to question me on it. But thats not me obeying my wife, just having my eyes opened to obey my Lord.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Preacher, I could say that women who are victims of rape inside urban areas should be executed, and accurately claim that I was following Scripture (citing Deuteronomy 22). Part of our task as interpreters of the biblical writings is discerning eternal truth from culturally specific advice or regulations.

There is no valid reason (scientific, biblical, or sociological) for a person's genitalia to determine their role in a marriage or any other relationship.

Joshua

[ September 12, 2001: Message edited by: CJoshuaV ]

 

Ephesians 5:22-28 addresses this topic, I will not quote it all but rather my favorite part. The second half of verse 28 says "He who loves his wife loves himself". As a devoted wife and mother of six I trust that my husbands relationship with the Lord is strong and that before making major decisions he takes them to God in prayer and faithfully follows his will. My question would be if you are married to a strong Christian man who loves the Lord and desires to follow his will, why wouldn't you be willing to obey him? Especially if you have a husband, who like mine, discusses things with you first and truly listens to you. I trust God and my husbands faith in him enough to obey his wishes even when I might think he's wrong and everytime I have done that, God has blessed our marriage. Just my two cents worth.

 

Shellcoin,

But likewise if you are married to a strong Christian woman who loves God and seeks God's will, why wouldn't you be willing to obey her?

Joshua

 

TC, I wish I could say that my wife and I had always conformed to the biblical pattern and never had a disagreement or fight. However, I have found I Cor 11:3-16 a continuing challenge. It is clear as Saggy reminded us that Christ is the head of the home, God is the head of Christ and the husband is the head of the wife. As sinners we all struggle with the keeping of that biblical order. My wife and I of almost 30 years work every day at keeping that biblical pattern. By the way if you add Eph 6 to I Cor 11 the children are under the parents. Some spoke of their dogs and cats who wear the pants (hopefully they were tongue in cheek). The reality is that in some homes the pets are higher than the kids. My chain of command based on these biblical passages is:

God
Christ
Husband
Wife
Children
Pets

That means that everyone wears the pants over those below, with the exception of the pets!!

Keep in the word!!

 

I hope no one minds, I am new here and am really enjoying it. I can't help myself but to share a story on this issue, hope you enjoy.

One day a man died and went to heaven, He saw a sign that said "Husbands whose wives did not submit to them" under this sign was the longest line of men he'd ever seen it went on from here to infinity. Then he saw a sign that said "husbands whose wives submitted to them" Underneath that sign was one lone man. So the man approached this man under the sign (knowing he did not belong in this line) he said to the one lone man "sir, I cannot get in this line, but just out of curiousity I'd like to ask you "How did you get your wife to submit to you, I must know" The man looked puzzled and looked around and then just said "I don't know, my wife just told me to stand here!"

 

I wonder how many women here truly struggle with submission, as put forth in the Bible, and how many may be struggling with a false type of "he is all-powerful and I must follow him" submission".
On the other hand, I wonder how many men nowadays still have the guts to stand up and be the man G-d wants them to be, the spiritual leaders in the home. Or do they sit quietly, letting overbearing wives rule over them?
Hmmmm.
And how many of you put those little sweater thingies on your pets?
Anyhow, I'm going WAY off here, lol.
What DO you consider the place of a husband? What is the place of the wife? How did that change or not change with time and culture?
Should it have?
Gina

 

My husband and I are best friends, we practially read each others minds and we usually feel the same on every situation. We both have strengths and weaknesses in our christian walk and we pretty much know what those weaknesses are so when one is weak the other is strong and so forth. We make choices together because as a family that is how it needs to be, yes submissiveness is very important and scriptural but fact is we rarely disagree on major choices needing to be made. Right now my husband is struggling with his walk so if he makes a choice that may hurt my relationship with God he knows I will not go along with it, he may do as he wishes and that is fine but I still have a personal responsibility to withhold my relationship strong and he respects that.

Basically, we respect one another and we value each others thoughts and feelings on every situation.

Sue

 

Jeremy,

On this one you are absolutely right. The verse that is often overlooked by most Baptists and by the BF&M2K (which is another reason that I reject that document) is the verse before where it says to "Submitt yourselves one to another out of reverence for Christ". This talks about mutual submission and accountability to each other. (Ephesians 5:21).

Joseph Botwinick

 

In our house, we must submit to our cat. She just ignores our attempts to take control.

Seriously, my wife and I are just a year apart. We grew up in the same church, went to the same elementary school, junior high and high school, and the same college. We have been best friends for a long time, but didn't have a "relationship" that led to dating and marriage until our last couple of years in college.

We were fortunate to have excellent pastoral counseling before we were married, not just formal sessions, but as disciples of Jesus in the same Christian community, where many people taught us about marriage by setting an example in their own for us to see, including both of our parents. Oh, we've also seen a few who couldn't hold it together, too.

Our pastor showed us scriptures about the wife submitting, but also showed us that the context of mutual submission is biblical, especially in light of the fact that marriage today is a covenant between the husband and wife, and not between the husband and his father-in-law, as it was when the scriptures were written.

In all of our long experience in marriage (going on two and a half years now), I can't think of a decision we have made that we both did not come to an agreement. That may be the result of knowing each other so well. Or it may be that she is being graciously submissive and I don't even know it!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joseph Botwinick:
Jeremy,

On this one you are absolutely right. The verse that is often overlooked by most Baptists and by the BF&M2K (which is another reason that I reject that document) is the verse before where it says to "Submitt yourselves one to another out of reverence for Christ". This talks about mutual submission and accountability to each other. (Ephesians 5:21).

Joseph Botwinick<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Pardon my ignorance, but what is the BF&M2K?

 

It stands for "Baptist Faith and Message 2000"

Basically its as close to a creed as Baptists get. At least that is what I've come to understand.


When it comes to my family, the pants have been fought over so many times, I think they are split right down the middle. Hopefully one day I can truely say that God wears the pants in our family.

[ September 15, 2001: Message edited by: Tuor ]