Submitting to your husband and what to wear

1) PRAY

2) Pray again

3) Tell your husband that you're uncomfortable (I know you said you've done this, but get his attention and make sure he hears you say this). Get him to tell you what he's really after. Ask him if he's comfortable with other men looking at you because you dress that way. And while I'm not a pastor or licensed counselor, I would highly suggest that you talk to your pastor.

 

Alexandra, I had the EXACT same problem! Sometimes I even snuck skirts out of the house to change once I was out.
But, it was a problem to buy them since he controlled the money and usually went with me to buy anything for the girls, so we had to wear what he bought and he usually wouldn't buy it if he didn't approve of it first, and that usually meant shorts or pants for us all. They WERE less costly though, so I think that was more his issue, along with just thinking it was stupid to wear skirts/dresses in cool or cold weather.
I really don't know what to tell you. Find out what the issue is. If it's money ask him if you can buy your clothes with your own money. I personally ended up just going with it and changing for church once out of the house because I went to a church that already thought I was evil for wearing them and they had a dress code for members. I probably could have explained to them why I wore pants but didn't feel it was their business!
But anyway, I hope something works out for you. Perhaps you could talk to him about the length of the skirts and make some kind of compromise? Tell him how other men react to you when you wear them. I can't imagine he would be happy with that.
Gina

 

Well I was going to suggest your husband is proud of your size and wants to show you off. You might explain to him that it makes you uncomfortable to be 'looked at' and that you don't want to give people a bad impression or hurt your testimony.

Diane

 

Hello Alexandra and Welcome,
I agree with what Don said about praying and then speaking to him. I also recommend fasting for intercession.

Have you read 1 Peter 3? I think these verses help women who need to witness to their husbands beautifully.

If the Father leads you to you might ask him if he would not mind if you wore dresses all the time.

He may not realize that other men are visually stimulated by you in your pants. Pray that God would show him this.

Also, I know of two ladies who make dresses for a very low price. They are plain dresses though. The one lady makes them for only 14.75 plus shipping and the other lady for 10.00 but you have to send the fabric to her.

If you would more info please send me a pm.

Do you sew? That is another way to get them for a low price if money is the problem.

I will be praying for you that the Father will open up a door for you to do something in your home. Sounds great! Do you have children?

 

These are all very good posts. I would have to agree with Diane, if wants you to dress a certain way it is so he can show you off. If that truly is the case, all you can do is pray that the Lord will change his heart.

If it is another issue, handle it in all meekness. You can find decent skirts and dresses at the goodwill, that will help with the expense.

Above all, if you feel the Lord is leading you to a dress only position, tell your husband and if he is unwillingly, every now and then, put one on, just make sure that when you do, you can look attractive to him, whether it be in you hair or a truly femine outfit. If you can still appeal to his senses, he will like what he sees and be more apt to let you go dress only.

Some men think it very sexy to see a woman in jeans and t-shirts-to them I would say keep the t-shirts and get some denim skirts.

Don't give up, and pray. We on the BB are always here for support, even if we don't agree.

 

Doesn't really matter. How short do YOU think is too short? You're the one that has to be fully persuaded in your own mind, while keeping in mind that we are our brother's keeper (Romans 15:1), as well as having to answer to God for what we do.

 

Alexandra:

We are to submit to our own husbands "as unto the Lord". If hubby is telling you to wear skirts shorter than would be pleasing to the Lord (and going against the modesty rule), then you have the right to say "no" submissively.

 

Glad to hear this Alexandra. I have been praying for you and him and will continue to do that.

Isaiah 47:2-3 I believe give guidelines for what is considered naked.

 

How short is to short? Well, personally, I like a skirt to cover me as much as a pair of jeans, so ankle length!
Anything less would be...shorter. Main point is to be able to be modest in what you're doing. Can you sit modestly in it? If you go up to the altar in church do you have to stand there like a moron because you suddenly realize there's no way you can kneel in that thing?
A fitted skirt is going to have to be longer. Loose swinging skirts can be a bit shorter since you can work with them, tuck, do whatever you gotta do, and are easier to wear and be modest in if you work with kids and have to sit on the floor, have kids crawling between your feet, all that fun stuff.
Gina

 

I think you'd have to decide on how short is too short according to your body style. I am thin but not skinny. However, since I am short (5'2" and 114 lbs), some skirts make me look like I'm a fire hydrant. I wear longer skirts with boots or with heels. I have 'some' dresses or skirts that come just below my knees but really prefer the look of longer things. ONLY FOR LOOKS. I can't wear really full skirts because, again, I'm short and they make me look weird!

If you're tall and slim, a knee length skirt is great. Just walk and sit like a lady.

I'm wondering if your husband is going through a VERY common problem a lot of men have when their wives first have children. They do not want to think of you as 'baby's mother' but still want to think of you as 'their lover/ wife'. Some men develop what is called the 'Madonna Complex'. They begin to think it is wrong for them to have sex with the mother of their child.

Also, hubby might see you as sort of boring right now because all your time is spent caring for your child, wearing casual clothes, nursing?? and smelling of baby powder and diaper rash cream.

There's a LOT to consider here but I'm quite sure this can be figured out and solved if you just keep the lines of communication open.

Diane

 

Gina

I prefer my skirts about two inches below the knee. I tried the ankle length.

I went to the altar and when I got up, I stepped on the back of my long, 'modest', skirt and pulled it down around my hips before almost ending up on the floor!

 

This is not just for what your husband thinks you should wear, but questioning doing something when your husband asks you to do it.

So long as it does NOT go against God's word, you should obey your husband. Read Deuteronomy 22:5 to him.

Just always remember we are supposed to be living our lives true to God's word. God places conviction about things in your heart because He sees that you need to make changes in that part of your life.

 

LOL!

I stepped on my long skirt my last time I went to the altar and almost fell on my face! LOL

I like skirts below my knees. I have really nice legs for my age but there's something about knees..

Diane

 

I agree, kneeling at the alter in a dress with high heels in front of the congregation is a trick isn't it? I always seem to step on the back of my skirt and lose a shoe coming up. But I haven't fallen in awhile. I've learned to tuck my skirt above my shoes and sort of rock back onto my feet using my hands on the floor. It sounds awkward, but it actually works pretty well.

Furthermore, I dress to please myself, although I take into consideration what my husband likes, I don't dress the way he would prefer. Why? Because miniskirts and 5 inch steleto's are just not practical that's why.

 

Well I never thought of that Laurenda! That makes sense. I'll do it as I kneel down! Thanks for sharing that! We have steps but many times those are full and getting up from the floor can be a real trick. My best church friend is a 27 year old woman. We usually pray together and help each other up. Both of us have inner ear conditions and we have to 'stabalize' a little before just walking off. Oh I love my friend Jennie!

Diane