Husband of one wife.....

The problem we have today is that divorce is as common in churches as it is in society in general. If we Christians actually lived what we claim to believe, divorce in the church would be very uncommon.

If that were the case, the pool of men who are scripturally qualified to serve as deacons would be large, and we could spend our time doing more important work.

 

California Girl: I was wondering where you got the idea that adultery was an "acceptable reason" for getting a divorce. The only place in the entire NT where any exception is granted against the total prohibition of divorce and remarriage is in the gospel written to Jews, Matthew, in 5:32 and 19:9. There Jesus explicitly used the word porneia in contradistinction to moicheia; that is, he contrasted premarital unfaithfulness during the Hebrew betrothal period as sole grounds to break a marriage to extramarital unfaithfulness being remarriage following a divorce for any other reason. (It's misleading to translate porneia as "adultery," since to us that implies something happening after a wedding, not before as Jesus referred to; that is why the gospels written to Gentiles don't even mention the exception involving the Jewish betrothal custom at all.) To see the principle worked out in practice, look at Matthew 1 and Joseph's plans regarding Mary when they were betrothed and she turned out to be pregnant.

 

Jesus tells us to forgive our brother who sins against us 70 X's 7 and did not say 'except adultery'.

Diane

 

If you look into the law of Moses and read it you will not see grounds for divorce. Instead, you will see an injunction that a divorce decree MUST BE GRANTED when a divorce occurs. It is a measure of protection that the law insists upon for the woman. (In the patriarchal society of the Old Testament, women couldn't get a divorce).

Jesus stated the reason for God allowing divorce is because of the hardness of our hearts. This remains today the one reason for divorce. It is for this reason that secular law must allow for divorce.

Hardness of heart manifested as beating, infedelity, coming home drunk all the time, are all legitimate grounds for divorce.

 

California Girl, and it makes sense to have 4 threads going on the exact same topic for WHAT reason?

 

I believe this means a Pastor or Deacon is to have only one wife...that means to have only been married one time unless the wife has died, then they can marry again.

 

showard93,

So, do you believe if your pastor's wife "flipped out," left and divorced him, (assume he did absolutely nothing to deserve it) that he would have to:

a. Remain divorced/single the rest of his life
b. Step down from the pulpit
c. All the above

 

John Wells brings up a good point. IF the minister's wife was mentally ill and left him... I think he MUST remain single and pray for her physical/ mental healing and return... but IF it was because of serious illness and no fault of HIS then I would consider staying under his teaching. It would have to be a true mental illness and not a mid-life crisis type thing tho and then I'd have to do a lot of praying before deciding for sure.

Surely this man could not control his wife's chemical imbalance. Now, if it were something he might have contributed to, such as depression not caused by chemical imbalance, then NO... He would not qualify as MY pastor. MANY physical illnesses can cause mental changes and a pastor should not be held accountable for that.

I knew a pastor who left the ministry after his wife committed suicide. She had a serious health concern and killed herself instead of seeking treatment. He felt he should have been able to comfort her and give her hope.

I have no scripture to offer on this... just speaking my heart.

Diane

 

This is a reply to johnwells.. I beleive that if he wants to keep preaching then he does just that if he feels he can but if he gets divorced then he disqualifys himself. I am not saying that this seems fair but I do beleive that is what is right.

 

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” (Hebrews 8:12)

I am soooooooo glad I worship a God who's grace is more forgiving than "man-made" rules that do not spring from scripture!

 

Hebrews 8:12 can be used to posit divorce is forgiven.

It cannot be used to excuse antinomianism, such as continuing and unrepentant sin (remarriage).

 

And in so saying, you ignore, or worse, call God a liar per the scriptures I gave. Please address them in light of your stance.

 

John, try as you may, you will not change their minds. According to them, a divorced man is the lowest of the low. A man would be better off being a former drug addicted alcoholic who'd done time for mass murder.

 

I do not think a divorced person is the Lowest of Low. I do however think there are just some things a divorced man can't do and that is to be a deacon and Preach. I also realize that a divorce sometimes is not what the man has done or asked for but if it happens it does disqualify him from these 2 positions. This is not my view but God's.

I also am glad that God is forgiving but divorce is divorce, sad yes but true.

 

showard,
I agree with you 100% on this issue. If we all just read what it says it's very clear what is being said. Let's not add our own spin to it just because we may not like what is being pointed out.
In Christ's service,
Leesa
Eph 2:8

 

Oh, boy, here we go again.
Do you mean to say, even if the (heaven forbid!) divorced man is now saved, happily remarried, living for and serving God faithfully, that he is not qualified or worthy to preach the gospel? Or serve his church?
Why don't you go ahead and disqualify all the former alcoholics and drug addicts and prison inmates that preach today? And maybe yourself, for everyone knows that we all have sinned at least once in our lives.
Holding one's past over one's head is not what Jesus had in mind.

 

I guess we are going again. I will say again that I didn't say it but The Bible does. Divorce is a touchy subject but no matter if you were married 1 month or 25 years and you get divorced and then are saved you still have disqualified yourself. It doesn't mean you can't serve the Lord in other areas.

It may not seem right but it is and it soens't say cabn't be an alcholoic or drug addict but it does say the husband of one wife and thats enough for me.

 

showard93,

Please excuse my denseness here (after 36 pages over four or more threads on this), but where do you say that the Bible disqualifies a divorced man? I hope you aren't going to say "husband of one wife!" Please tell me you have some new verse that's escaped my reading all these years! For the umpteenth time, those words in Greek mean "one-man woman," and used in the context of "what is blameless," can only point to fidelity and not marital status.

 

Why would a divorced man be the lowest of the low? We're only standing on Scripture. His wife might have left him. He's married to his wife until she dies. If a wife left her husband before he was saved, or she left because she was mentally ill or the like, then it's not like he could continue to be blamed. He can't remarry because that would be committing continuous adultery, as Jesus said in Mark and Luke, but the only way that he could never be ordained to preach is if someone took 1 Timothy 3 so literally that a woman, or an unmarried man, or a married man without children couldn't be ordained either. Otherwise, fine. Just not while living in adultery. Divorced, though? OK, depending.

 

Oh, boy, here we go again.
Do you mean to say, even if the (heaven forbid!) divorced man is now saved, happily remarried, living for and serving God faithfully, that he is not qualified or worthy to preach the gospel? Or serve his church?
Why don't you go ahead and disqualify all the former alcoholics and drug addicts and prison inmates that preach today? And maybe yourself, for everyone knows that we all have sinned at least once in our lives.
Holding one's past over one's head is not what Jesus had in mind. </font>[/QUOTE]So someone still constantly getting drunk or getting high and refusing to stop is qualified to be ordained and preach in the church? Because that is what is comparable to saying the same about someobody living in open adultery (remarriage)... Repenting of a sin includes forsaking it--not embracing it and saying 'I can keep on doing it because I'm forgiven'.