HOW DO YOU GET SETTLED?

Time, and the healing touch of the Holy Spirit. If you have been hurt, it's hard to let go of it. Allow God to heal those wounds, so you can stop carrying the pain into your new fellowship with you.

 

I understand.

I've never said anything like this to anyone so bear with me if it doesn't sound right. It's raw, but from the heart.

I've changed when it comes to trying to fit in to a new assembly or fellowship.

Through continual prayer, pleading and begging before the Throne of Grace, I have put forth my best efforts ever with several churches I visit often. I have fought and won with all of the negative feelings and I always push them aside in favor of loving those who are called the brethren. Love is growing in me and I am changing for the better.

Forgiveness is victory!
Knowing a sovereign God is freedom!

I've been visiting a new church for 7 solid and faithful months now. That's a record for me. In the past I could be offended for that long. Now I strive to only be offended as long as it takes to open my mouth to the Lord about it. That frees me to love more.

It works. Finally I am starting to see the hearts of some of the folks there. Some seem insincere or fake on the surface, but underneath they are really very special and I wait. I see folks at many different places or levels in the walk of faith. If I stayed offended, I would never have been able to see the things I see. It is wonderful!

God must be able to sustain me outside of the institutional church too. What I mean is that through private study, other brethren and much private prayer, I do not actually need anything that the institutionalized church offers except to know of a place where believers meet regularly. I go to find fellow believers and I hope to find fellowship. It takes a lot of work, hard grueling work but it's paying off.

I could list the faults of the churches I visit, but you know what? I am striving to forget them and I do forget them. Their basic doctrine of faith must be sound though. That is the one thing I could not overlook.

After 7 dedicated and faithful months, I am starting to see some folks that I think are exceptional in their faith. If I had stopped going, I never would have seen them. I strive to get closer only to those few at this time. So now my efforts are a little more focused. I am pleasant and respectful to all but I am beginning to be able to be honest to a few. I like that. I consider it a reward from the Father.

It all started with repentance on my part and a re-dedication to love the brethren no matter how I felt about them.

I resist joining by way of formal membership because I cannot get as close to the pastor and other leaders as I would like. All this after 7 months of my very best efforts and my continual "reaching out" to them. I cannot speak about the things I disagree about nor do they seem to trust me much (That's ok). Nevertheless, I continue to go and I am very respectful to the pastor and I never speak against him to the membership. I do not seek him out any more, though I would really like to be closer to him (so I wait). I truly desire to spend quality time with him. Maybe that will come if I remain faithful. I don't know that.

In short I am trying to say that I am growing and gaining strength through my own private efforts. I go to the assembly to have the opportunity to be with other believers. I keep my eyes open for those very special few and I am always nice to the many.

This has been working perfectly for me and I am very thankful to God for it. I seem genuinely missed by a few when I skip a Sunday for any reason. A few good (believing) friends is much more than I had 7 months ago. I am very thankful for that.

In summary. Love never fails! Even when practiced by a depraved fellow like me.

Dave.

 

I agree with USN2Pulpit, it takes time and the Lord's touch to begin to trust again once you've been hurt by your "home" church.

At one point I was away from church for over two years because of distrust. Even now I find it hard to remain in a church for any length of time. The last six to eight months or so have seen me (and now my wife too), jump from church to church, trying to find a new church home. Just when I/we think we've found one, I seem to find some fault with it (whether "real" or just in my head), and we move on.

The church we've been visiting for the last month or so shows "promise" however. Solid, biblical preaching; Godly leadership; friendly congregation; many opportunities to serve. I'm still not as "open" as I'd like to be, and I still may find "faults" with it, and leave (as I've done with other churches that looked promising), but I think this time God is really working in my heart, and I'm slowly (and I mean very slowly) learning to trust again.

God Bless!!!

Adam

 

Justified, that is wonderful news. May God Bless You and Your Family. He truly loves you and will guide you.