Should a husband display the beauty of his wife?

i agree with you somewhat

but the wife's beauty, on display, should be her good works, her modesty, shamefacedness and sobriety, along with her meek and quiet spirit.

see 1Peter 3, 1 Timothy 2

i am a man, and am affected by female physical beauty, but often in a sexual way that unfortunately could lead to fornication and adultery, in the heart if nowhere else.

but i'm also a christian, and affected by spiritual beauty - it's just as powerfully felt, but it doesn't make me want to do anything wrong, any more than looking into the face of christ would. if anything, it makes me want to be better too.

for some reason most women think they have to LOOK attractive with pretty clothing, jewelry, make up, etc. but to be honest that just SPOILS OR DETRACTS from what true, inner, christ-like beauty they have.

 

Gunther, my husband is always coming home with nice things for me. He loves for me to dress modern and in style. This question struck a chord with my husband and he really wanted to give you his thoughts.

This reply is from Diane's husband, Jim:

I am not sure where this notion that a woman needs to look "frumpy" and unattractive to be in God's Will comes from. It seems to me that it is the "intent and prupose" in which you dress that could cause issues to arise. To be well groomed and wear clothes that fit properly should not be an issue. I am much more offended by individuals who do not take proper care of the body that God gave them and become over weight, out of shape, and then try to hide behind clothes that do not properly fit, and then take offense at people who take pride in keeping in good condition...this is a health issue not an appearance issue. And then object to others who wear clothes that do fit their physique.

I do not want my wife to look "frumpy" no matter what her age, but to show her attractiveness in a proper, dignified way. This idea that if you do not look like something out of "Little House On The Prairie" is way off base, certainly not scriptural, and only masks others' personal insecurities.

I do have a problem with some younger women in our church who wear pants and outfits that look "painted-on" and wear shirts that do not cover their stomachs for the younger girls in church to see. These are issues that their husband's need to address and says more about the husband's lack of character and leadership than the wife... in my opinion.

However, if you think that either dressing like Britney Spears or bar hopping like she does is what Southern Baptists should be doing, then we all are in trouble. There are easily definable standards that are not that hard to adhere to.

Jim Tavegia

 

diane, is your husband available for debate, or was this a one time posting?

regards,
tim

 

Hi,Gunther!

Good post! I agree with you...my husband likes for me to look nice,polished,dressed well,nice natural looking make up...nice clothes. My husband is pretty picky about what I wear...of course it should be modest,but he likes very flattering,stylish,but traditional nice clothes. He would never want me to look frumpy or out of style....but,we both know that the focus is on Godly character and a gentle and quiet spirit...these are stressed more. I have to work harder on these.

Molly

 

I believe that the idea of modesty is to keep men from lusting after woman in an adulterous fashion even within their own hearts.

 

Please explain what it is that you would like to see in other men's wives outward appearance that you think the husbands are trying to hide from you. and your reasons for being concerned with what another man's wife looks like then.

My point is that it shouldn't be your, or any other man's concern what another man's wife looks like. And there is a reason why which I already stated.

 

I think it goes both ways. Since I'm in the dating arena again, I find that I go out of my way to look the best I possibly can for my date, and she does the same for me. When I was married, many years ago, my wofe and I did this. We'd make sure we'd look our very best, out of respect for each other. The idea of putting on holey pants on a date was then, and is now, well, unholy ...

Take a walk up Disneyland's Main Street. Every few years, they close the buildings and put on new coats of paint, gold & silver leaf, lighting, and fresh landscaping, whether they are needed or not. Disneyland imagineers don't wait until a building starts to look worn. They prevent the wear from happening. Since we're to be temples of the Holy Spirit, and since marriages are places where a covenant resides, should we not make the effort to make sure that the marital temples are always presented in a respectful manner, rather than wait until it needs more work?

The "I don't need to look good... it's only my spouse" is a disrespectful attitude, imo.

OTOH, one can look good in public, and still be modest. Again, notice the windows of the buildings on Disneyland's Main Street, and the modesty of the window treatment. One can have the shades drawn and still look presentable.

 

A shell without content has no value. The exterior while important to maintain should never exceed in importance the interior of the person.

I have never liked the trophy wife mentality, I think it's degrading to woman. It is more important that a wife is pleasing her husband than anyone outside of her marriage. So that is why I asked why this concerns you?

My husband had a question for you G.. "Are you married?"

 

Well said! To this there can be no disagreement.

 

(duplicate post deleted)

 

I understand what you mean Gunther. I'd like to add that it makes me feel good when Jim leaves for work looking nice. He dropped by for lunch today and I just had to tell him how nice he looks. He's got a lot of health problems and is on a lot of medicine. Back in Feb., when we took the picture on my profile, he was all swollen from prednisone. To see him now, you'd never guess he's ill at all. I'm proud of how he dresses and takes care of himself.

Diane

 

Dear Gunther, Thank you for answering my hubby's question, I'll pass it along. I thought it was a little personal myself...but his wish is my command if you know what I mean.

Everyone has to go their own way and make their own decisions when it comes to how they appear or what it means in relationship to being a Christian.

Some woman think that to be strong in their faith they must dress a certain way or they aren't as Christian. I don't really have a problem with someone who dresses like they came off the set of Little House on the Prairie or on the other end of the scale, someone who looks like Joyce Meyer (as an example). Both exibit godliness in my opinion. Depending on how they are. How they look is not what I focus on for my opinion.

So which of these two is correct? Which is more godly? Some say that outward appearance is an indicator of inward godliness. But I know from experience that this is easily faked. So, I don't buy that arguement. Anyone can dress to look like a certain type of person. But it doesn't make them that type of person. Character isn't found in clothing or hair styles.

The question I ask myself on this issue, because there are so many varying viewpoints on it is: Is it on the top 10 most important things list to God? And my opinion is "No, it isn't."

The thing that keeps replaying in my mind is the word you used..."ashamed". Husbands can be ashamed of thier wives even when she does everything to outwardly look right, or good or well kept etc. And equally there are those who look at a couple and think..."What is he doing with her?" But we dont' know everything. Some people are completely happy and even proud of who they are with, and how they look despite anyone's opinion to the contrary. So our opinion about that is really inconsequencial.

It often makes me wonder why all the importance of appearance is placed on the female.

[ July 16, 2003, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: WisdomSeeker ]

 

No. Now tell me, how much of the glory of Christ is based on his physical appearance and what he wore? So why should a husband take this to mean that he should put his wife's physical appearance on display? How does looking beautiful translate into being Christlike?

Why? Scripture does not support that position. James 2:2 says your respect for such things is not appropriate. According to I Tim 2:9-10 and I pet 3 adorning should not be of a physical nature but a matter of character. No one honors their wife more than I do

Going out of her way to look BAD is a whole other subject and trying to look joyless IS contrary to scripture. Joy is part of the fruit of the Spirit and IS/SHOULD BE a part of her (and his) adorning.

"she should do her best to BE it", not look it. I am very pleased with the fact that my wife is quite attractive but, frankly, I consider it none of your business, so, why should I show it to you (generic YOU).