Stay-At-Home Moms

No, quite actually the most important thing is obedience to God. The Bible plainly says women are to be keepers at home and that they are to guide the house.

Julia

 

Dude??? I haven't heard anyone call someone Dude since I was in High School in the 70's. Who you calling "Dude" anyway? </font>[/QUOTE]I have been doing that since the early 80's and really have not stopped. the guys around work have started to say it now.
but I was using dude as a gender neutral, general exclamatory expression. IE Hey !!!

but back on topic. We need to understand that the culture has changed. Back when the Bible was written, most people worked from home and the wife and husband were working side by side along with the children who were old enough to work. Today we need to work away from home. If my wife chose to work away from home, I would not tell her no. Fortunately, The Lord provides for us. I personally believe that if my wife felt the need to work outside the home, then I am not doing the job I am called to do.

[ May 06, 2003, 12:58 PM: Message edited by: j_barner2000 ]

 

I know that I would be a better wife & mother if I was at home.
I would have time to plan a meal instead of throwing together something quick and probably unhealthy. I would have time to keep the house the way it should be. I would have time to keep up with the laundry instead of my husband taking his work clothes out of the dryer or worse yet still damp. I would have time to reallyl spend time teaching my daughter during homework or when I am cooking instead of feeling delayed and hurried. I would have time to dance with her or do somethign as simple as blow bubbles with her instead of ironing my clothes for the next day. I wouldnt have to worry about her not eating enough breakfast because I would have time to sit with her while she eats. Can you imagine having your child eat at the table, by herself?????
While I am right there beside her, packing lunches, etc.... I am constantly saying, eat, eat, hurry, we have to go....... and thats not how it should be.
I pray every day that my husband would see the importance of me staying home.
And I could give a million more reasons and a million more on how I would be a better wife. But you all know. I know God knows my heart, but I am missing a lot of years.
So if you stay at home, rejoice in that..... your life is certainly blessed.

 

Oh Carolyn, your post made me cry. I'm so sorry. Praying for the Lord to bless your family and give you the desires of your heart.

Diane

 

Gina---sooooooooo--you knew what I was gonna post before I posted it???? Golly, this is more spookier than I thought!! You really are my sister, ain't cha??

Blackbird

 

Gina--if you know what men are gonna say before they say it--why do you ask them to say it?? If you know what they will post why ask them to post??

Your buddy,
Blackbird

 

Oh Blackbird...I think you were the only one Gina implied was predictable. Watching the two of you banter like this is very entertaining.

I want to address one thing...Betty said Fathers should take an active roll in teaching and raising children. I'm married, my husband loves his children and they feel loved by him, but he doesn't take an active roll with the children.

One thing nobody ever told me about being a mother, is that the Mom does it all. The cooking, the cleaning, the teaching the disciplining, the driving, the teacher conferences, the fund raisers, Clothing coordinating, hair combing and styling, dealing with sickness, doctors visits, dentist visits, not sleeping when a child has night terrors or is sick...It's Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.

Do you think my kids go to their Dad for anything? Nope...I wish it was a little bit more evenly distributed..I even wish the duties could be taken over just when I'm sick or sleep deprived...but someone has to go out and make the bucks to keep us in food and shelter. So a woman's work is never done...and if she is fortunate to be a Mommy...it's really never done, because you can get woken up in the middle of the night for weeks, for one reason or another too. My daughter has woken me up at 3:00am every morning for the last several weeks because she's terrified of the "Vampires" in her bedroom. "Mommy, I'm scared" she screams me awake, while pounding on my stomach.

If anyone can be married, have children and a husband who helps out in addition to working....that's a mighty blessing. My husband works very very hard. But the kids...they're my responsibility. If my husband does anything for them, it's only as a favor to me. I understand, He's tired...but so am I. I think the Victorians had it right...hiring a domestic would sure be a help.

 

Blackbird just doesn't post often enough for me! He always makes me smile.

Bro. Crow.... Keep watching that front pew. One of these days my Preacher Friend, one of these days!

Diane

 

It doesn't take much to be a father, but it takes a real MAN to be a Daddy.

 

I agree about the father's role...this is also crucial because God's Word says the husband is to be the head of his wife and spiritual leader of his home.

When a family is functioning as close to scripture as it can,it should look like this:

Mother home-training the children,preparing food,housework,serving others in the church as well as the needy and poor. She should show hospitality to others by welcoming others into her home as a comfortable haven and godly place full of love and christian service.

The children-should be obedient to their parents(at all times),respectful at all times,showing kindness and care to other siblings.

The Father-Should be the spiritual head of his home...leading family worship time,teaching his wife and children about the Lord and His Word,providing financially for his family so that their needs are met,loving caring servant heart displayed to all in his home,disipline his children...these should be his priorities as well....it is defintely not all about the mom being home!

Everyone has a role that is biblical and God's plan for the family. We should all be seeking this in our homes,so that Christ and His word are honored.

 

If the family lives in a trailer and mom and dad both are driving 5-year-old cars, and the trailer doesn't have $15,000 worth of stereo and TV junk, and they still can't make ends meet--then mom and dad both need to work.

If they are living in the best neighborhood in town and are each driving late model status symbols, mom is choosing to work.

I am 51, married for neatly 32 years to my high school sweetie, and we successfully raised 3 kids (all adults, all saved, all talking to us, none in jail presently--that is success today, Bubba-Joe!). Mom was at home. When I was a young enlisted man with three little kids, I moonlighted, but Mom stayed at home. When I was chasing around the world defending Western Civilization against the lean hungry Coummunist barbarians from the East, Mom was home. When there was a problem at school, Mom was at home. When the kids came home hungry and wild, Mom was at home. We gave up a lot of stuff for that to happen--we did not have a second car until I was a senior captain, and we never had all the big stereo gear, etc. We did not take high-powered vacations at Disney.

Now, Dad was involved (when not on "business trips"), I was really at home base most of the time. The kids came to mom for hugs and sympathy, and Dad for advice. Dad was the historian, the philosopher/theologian, the one who made them all international affairs experts by the age of 12, the Spiritual Head of the home, the guy they went to for math homework and technical matters, and the referee in all serious brother-to-brother clashes. I am also the one who taught the daughter how to throw a mean right cross to defend herself against home-grown barbarians. But Mom was home. If we had to do it all over again, we would do it the same way.

As a counselor, I have helped several couples put their financial lives down on paper, and you would be shocked how little that most moms are really working for, by the time you subtract child care, professional wardrobes, eating take-out, the need for two brand-new cars, etc., etc. The real income difference is often less than $1 an hour.

And yes, as adults, my kids still look to Mom for hugs and sympathy and Dad for advice.

 

Major B, My husband and I sound just like your family!

Let me say that I've had so many of the young ladies at church tell me they have to work but then admit that their income pays for child care, clothes and the world's biggest SUV. One older friend, close to my age, was told by her husband recently that he doesn't want her to retire in 2 years when she hits 30 years of teaching because they couldn't keep the Tahoe! Guess what! She told him... tough! She'll retire on $34,000 a year and he thinks that's not enough.

Diane

 

If there were no divorce, no adultry, no abuse, no uneducated or unskilled, no men shirking their child support, etc....... Then we would live in a perfect world and women could stay at home.
But seems we live in the real world, women often have to work. I did read proverbs over the weekend. I also heard the preacher preach on it Sunday. When I read this scripture, what I see, is a hard working woman, that kept her "household" in order. I never saw where it said to stay at home. What it said to me was not to be idle.
I think this as with many other things, It all depends on who's reading it. I don't think working mom's or stay-at-home mom's should have to justify ot explain why they do what they do.
Christine

 

Agreed,we do live in a fallen world and we are all born into sin...but the standard for families remains the same and one we should be striving for at all times. I agree there are many different life cicumstances....the goal remains the same,though.

 

I really feel for all of the families who are forced to have the woman work. I am blessed that I can provide for my family. As the father, though, I am active in my home. My wife is homeschooling so she is very busy. I do help with science and math questions. These are my favorite subjects. I also teach the devotional and lead family prayer every day. I am busy. I leave at 5 am and get home around 4. I am studying Seminary classes, along with interning at church. My family is my PRIMARY MINISTRY. all other ministry comes second unless it is an emergency situation.

Any man who lets his family take a back seat to a big fancy house/stuff and/or fancy church will have to answer to God for his choice of priorities.

Woe be to the men who does not help the widows?single moms, they are around. God has called uppon us (by example and word) to provide for them.

 

I have had to work to support my son and myself. I admit that I threw myself totally into it to make as much money as I could. I fought for every penny.
Then God sent me a wonderful man who said my child deserved to be raised by me and not the daycare. He could not stand to see my child and I part ways every morning. Now we have another child together. I stay at home of course. We could live better off, but we chose to put our children first. I know some Moms have to work. I also know some Moms just prefer to work and have nicer things. My husband says once you have children your rights and preferences go out the door. Children come first, you come second, often dead last.
When I was working I did love the since of pride I felt in a job well done. I got promotion after promotion. When I quit people thought I quit to get a better paying job. I've had people ask me don't I get bored, and just generaly treat me like I'm lazy because I stay at home. I work hard!!!!! I don't miss the rat race. However, I'm ready and willing to go back if it is necessary for some reason.
I guess people think we are old fashioned, but I think this is how family life should be if possible. I don't look down on working Moms, but I don't want to be one.