No one has answered me about how they would honestly feel if they had lost a child, or many loved ones in a row died, or had a child kidnapped raped and murdered et. THINK ABOUT IT.
Even my Pastor said he has been angry at God. maybe none of you have had enough injustice done to you in your life. I have, before I was saved, starting from day one, and after. I was told I have been through more in my life than people in third world countries, I've been told I should write a book. When we moved up here 2 1/2 years ago I was looking for a Christian counselor. I had presented all my history both before I was saved and what I went through after, especially 5 years in a row worth of Hell. She was so devistated by what she read she told the secretary to tell me that I would need a specialist. She couldn't even tell me herself. NO I needed someone to point me back to Biblical truths and who would be there for me to see me through my pain. God had left me I was sure of it. ( I know he didn't really but that is how it felt at the time ) Even David felt like God left him. My pastor has felt like God has left him.
All I am saying is I knew BIBLICAL TRUTHS more than most Christians I have ever meet. But when you are tested like Job, most people ( Job I'd say was an exception ) do not have a clear Biblical pespective. Especially if you had been raised the way I was. You are hurting so bad and your feelings are VERY strong, magnified is the word. Feelings of rejection, betrayal, abandonment, inadequancy, injustice, that no amount of head knowledge can change that. The hardest was knowing that I did NOTHING wrong to deserve or cause such trials. When you know that God is the one who allowed it, ( and as far as I was concerned CAUSE it himself) yet you see no benifit or fruit or understanding of why. That can make anyone go crazy. I still do not have answers to many of my experenses and probably never will. I have learned though to not listen to those who say " you just have to get over it " or " Your not trusting God " or " Don't you know what the Bible says " I know that when someone is going through such pain they don't need scripture crammed down their throat, they need someone who will be there for them and walk them through the pain and when they are READY, when the time is right share what Gods perspective is.
You think you guys are going to be able to go to someone who just lost their child in anyway shape or form and say, well the Bible say this and the Bible says that. Are you going to tell them God has his reasons for allowing your child to die. No ! You'd be a fool to do that. Believe me at that time they are not thinking how loving and kind God is they are hurting and want answers. ONLY TIME will tell when they are ready to look to God and get healing in their lives.
Another sad fact is and I can see from your guys answers is MOST people do not know how to deal with hurting Christians. I went to 5 counselors during those 6 years and ONLY one was somewhat decent. My Pastor NOW is the only one who was RIGHT ON. Why was he RIGHT ON because he knew what I was going through and he knew how to counsel me with out judging me. Unlike the others he was able to combine, Compassion, insightful understanding, prayer, patience, no mumbo jumbo hocus pocus bs, and when I was ready for it Gods word. ABOVE ALL he was able to help me understand I wasn't the only one, who dealt with such injustice from other Christians, circumstances et. He said some of the most used Chrisitans are those who God puts through the fire so to speak. Moses, David, Job, Joesph, and so on. He had to go through 5 years of about the same things I went through, he knew a Godly Pastor who went through horrible injustice from his congregation all because he stood for Gods word. ( he was new to the church ) The fact that he said ( which none of the others counselors ahd done ) That God wanted to use me in a greater way, was extremely helpful in itself, I knew that deep down but no one but he had told me that.
Anyway I think it was especially hard for me, since I didn't have a loving upbringing as these guys had. I have been abandoned by 3 mothers and hurt/abused and rejected by 2. I've been in 2 foster homes at 6 and 17, and an adopted father who abused me physically and emotionally ( not sexually thank god ) That is just part of the story. So when I went through 5 years of nonstop trials from other Christians and weird circumstances, it all brought up my past. A loving caring father figure in God was not what I saw.
Don't get me wrong when I first got saved I went through many trials as a new christian again more than most I was even almost raped and murdered, but my faith was strong and I looked to God all the way through each trial. One of the big differences was I had a new Christian FAMILY that supported me ALL the way. When I went through the 5 years of Hell, I had no one there for me,( actually just a few NONchristian friends, I have no real family, but my husband and kids ) even my own Husband didn't know what to do and he was part of the problem he had no back bone, to stand up for injustice. Anyway see the difference. I think it is amazing in itself I am still alive , still sain, still going to church and still know God loves me and has a plan for me.
I didn't want to write all this as it is a very personal story, but I felt that this is where my understanding comes from about this subject. Christians NEED this understanding in order for a healthy relationship and to help others. God wants us to be honest about our feelings, he wants us to ask questions to SEEK him no matter how we do it, so he can help us through our pain.
I just would hate for people to tell others that are hurting to "just get over it ", " don't you know what the Bible says about what you are feeling" ! Give me a break, please don't do that next time someone is in need of a friend, see him as God would see him.
[ September 05, 2005, 01:03 PM: Message edited by: DHK ]