How do you handle annoying people at church?

Hi TexasSky,
It's interesting, we have a wonderful church also, but there is a women who is very strong willed and wants things done her way, and not willing to compromise I have a very hard time dealing with her. I need to pray for acceptance of God's will.
I was actually going to leave the church, but have decided to stay for now.
I'm trying to forgive her, it's hard and I know what God say's. If I don't forgive her, He can't forgive me.

Pray for God's direction, I also will pray for you.

Let's make a deal I'll pray for you and you pray for me.

God Bless,

 

Topic: How do you handle annoying people at church?

Well, I tend to just naturally be an annoying person, so church is no different than anyplace else. I annoy people just by being myself.

O wait, did you mean people who annoy you?

 

Oy Vey!!! I am dealing w/someone like that now. She's the coordinator of our Women's Conference in Sept. and I'm on the planning committee--organizing the music/drama segment. She pounces on me every week w/a new change or something added to my list. I actually dread seeing her at church and literally run for the door when it's over so she I can avoid her. Sad, but true.

Wish I had a answer--mine is the coward's way out--RUN THE OTHER WAY! lol Oh, and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!

Take care.

Linda

 

I would not like her either and you're justified in your feelings. Did you share with her how her remarks were insensitive and hurt your feelings?

 

We have people like that at my church, except they have a way of saying it that is subtle and indirect. At least she comes right out and says what she means.

With comments like that, you could politely ask her "why do we need to have these meetings if you know what needs to be done? If your mind is made up, what is the point of us sharing with you anything about this project?"

 

Punch them in the face

 

Oh, I'd seriously think about slapping her for the old maid remark. I was single until I was 39 and got tired of everyone feeling sorry for me. Single people have gifts and abilities to use as well as married. Being married makes you no more qualified to serve the Lord.

But.... I guess prayer is better than physical harm...

 

Try finding someone who you both respect and have them talk with her. She is more apt to respond to someone she respects than to you, if you have not yet developed such a realationship. Some people are just naturally go-getters and don't even realize that they are running roughshod over other people. Since she is a member of the church, the odds are that she does care about people and their relationship to her. Perhaps she is just unaware of her need to develop better people skills. I was told once by a friend at work that I was doing something that was annoying (they were right). If someone who wasn't a friend had told me the same thing for exactly the same reason I probably would not have reacted the same. I appreciated (after a brief time of irritation) the constructive criticism and have made a real effort not to be so annoying and have even more respect for my friend.

Pro 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

 

One of my problems is people in general tend to annoy me. lol I'm working on that.
Here is something I got in email and just read, I figured I would post it here. I'm not sure what I think about all of it, but here goes...

Sandpaper People: How to Love Abrasive Souls God's Way
Mary Southerland

We live in a world that hoards a myriad of problems. However, you will be thrilled to know that I have discovered the biggest problem of all - people! In my opinion, if there were fewer people, there would definitely be fewer problems.

Let's be honest! Some people are more difficult to get along with than others; they "rub" us the wrong way! I call them "Sandpaper People." Sandpaper people come in all shapes, sizes and colors and sometimes they are us! We try to change them, run from them, ignore them and even take a stab at fixing them. If only it were that simple. It rarely is.

Getting along with sandpaper people requires a new point of view, seeing them as God sees them. We cannot base love on feelings, but on God's love released by choices we make in dealing with sandpaper people.

* Choose love. Ephesians 2:10 "We are God's workmanship."

The artist came to the park every day when the light was just right, positioning his easel and paints under the same familiar shade tree. For hours, he watched people strolling by, searching for just the right face to paint. A beggar sitting across the path caught his eye. Thinking of God's handiwork in every human being, the artist resolved to paint the man as he imagined he could be. With the last stroke, the artist breathed a sigh of satisfaction. It was done. And it was some of his best work. The artist then called the beggar over to see the painting. "Is that me?' the beggar asked. "That is the "you" I see!" replied the artist. The beggar stared at the painting, and with tears in his eyes, softly spoke, "If that's the man you see in me, then that's the man I shall be!"

Sandpaper people desperately need someone who will look beyond their abrasive behavior to recognize their worth. Sandpaper people have allowed someone or something to assign an identity to them that is false. As a result, they live a life they were never intended to live, bound to an unhealthy self-image, having no concept of who they really are or what they can become.

Desperate to fit in, they try on different identities like trying on new clothes, wondering why none of them fit. Sandpaper people fail to understand that their identity was established before the world began, in the heart and mind of God. That's where we come in.

When we make the deliberate choice to love a sandpaper person, we are inviting God to work in us and through us to bring about change; to create His image in us so we can then see His image in others. Difficult relationships find it hard to survive in an atmosphere of love because stubborn wills yield to love as the worth of a soul is recognized and valued.

* Choose encouragement. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Encourage one another."

If you want to disarm a sandpaper person, become their cheerleader! By focusing on their good points, your perspective of that person will change. Other people's perspective of that person will change and even that person's own perspective will change.

In second grade, my son, Jered, had a classmate, Kyle, who qualified as a first class sandpaper person. One Monday morning, Kyle came to school with both arms in a cast from wrist to elbow. The teacher explained that Kyle would need a friend to help him do class work, eat lunch, go to the restroom, and in short, be his personal slave for eight weeks.

In the silent, tension-filled classroom, it seemed as if everyone was holding their breath, hoping Kyle would somehow disappear. He didn't. Disappointment clouded the teacher's face until Jered said, "I'll do it, Miss Chism." A sigh of relief erupted as everyone stared at Jered in gratitude, unable to understand why he would link himself to this abrasive kid, but clearly glad he had.

Over the next few weeks, Jered discovered that Kyle wasn't so bad after all. In fact, they became friends. Then Kyle's behavior began to change. The other children, watching this unlikely friendship unfold, surmised that if Jered liked the sandpaper boy, there must be something worth liking. After eight weeks, the class of now-wiser children included Kyle in every activity. When the casts came off, so did the old sandpaper person. All he needed was a cheerleader. Maybe that's all your sandpaper person needs.

* Choose thankfulness. Philippians 4: 6b "Always be thankful, for this is God's will."

Choosing to be thankful for sandpaper people is one of the most important choices we can make, as well as one of the most difficult choices we must make to bring any measure of health to the relationship. Thankfulness is a foreign language to sandpaper people, their native tongue criticism and displeasure. The last thing any sandpaper person expects to encounter is an attitude of thankfulness. Yet, it is the first step God commands us to take.

Right now, begin thanking God for allowing you to experience pain at the hand of a sandpaper person. Praise Him for the shattered dreams and crushed hopes that have come as the result of a difficult relationship. Trust Him to take what the enemy meant for bad and use it for good in your life. If you want to experience victory in your most difficult relationships, thank God for each and every one.

Sandpaper people are not only a reality of life, but opportunities from the heart of God. God uses difficult relationships in my life as catalysts through which He lovingly upsets my comfortable plans and purposefully redirects my safe and sound steps. Every relationship, difficult or easy, is wrapped in God's love, faithfully delivered with His permission and wrapped in His plan.

The world is watching, as is every sandpaper person in our lives, pushing every limit to see how we will respond. It is through these difficult relationships that we grow and mature in Christ. The rough edges fall away as we welcome the lessons sandpaper people bring.

Taken from Mary Southerland's newest book, "Sandpaper People" to be released July 2005 by Harvest House Publishers. Mary is a pastor's wife, mother of two, author, speaker and founder of Journey Ministry Inc.

 

Does anyone else see the irony of this post in the context of the OP? Or is it just me? Maybe RightFromWrong intended it to be ironic?

 

It's not? Why not? Thousands of people read these messages. We need to be careful in how much detail we provide in our posts. A good question to ask - "If a member of my church reads this post, will they know who/what I am talking about?" If the answer to that is yes, then we may have crossed the line into gossip already (assuming the post is of a personal matter).