Pastor wants me to join, am I out of line to say yes but with conditions?

Melissa,

please do not take our comments as criticism of your observational skills. You have a good solution, if indeed it is necessary.

I think most of us were cautioning you not to look at yourself as the answer to the church's problems. Coming in as a new person and having some problem with something going on is not always seen as complaining. If you are going to go to the pastor, then by all means do so....but have the right spirit about you when you do.

And just a word of information....typically in a Baptist church the pastor is THE boss.....under Jesus, of course. The elders or board (if one exists) tends to be a consulting group who does not hold real authority over the pastor. They aren't his bosses. I just thought you'd like to know.

Don't let all this scare you about the church. The pastor sounds like a good man who really cares. And you sound like someone who just cares.....I think you'll do fine.

 

I'm confused. Are you a Nazarene who wants to be a Baptist or are you a Baptist who attended a Nazarene Church?

Why are you so concerned about other people's gossip?

Each individual is responsible for himself/herself. I really don't see how a woman standing up in church saying that her granddaughter needs to face reality can ruin the granddaugher's reputation.

If you are concerned about gossip, just keep yourself out of any situation that you would consider gossip.

I have been a member of Baptist churches for 61 years and I would hesitate to go to any Baptist Church as a new member and try to tell them what to do.

Perhaps you should visit the church awhile longer to see what God wants you to do.

 

Even if it is substantiated, it is gossip.

 

I agree gb93433, However, I do not see how the following quote is slander:

I am missing something here. How can that one sentence ruin a girl's character? Many people need to face reality.

What works? What does "it" refer to in the above quote?

By the way, are you a Nazarene or a Baptist?

 

Im sorry Thankful,

maybe I didn't state it right. I was trying to say that Ive gone to churches where a Wednesday night service of testimonies and verbally giving prayer requests has worked well without it turning into a bad thing.

 

I don't think anyone can determine for another how that person expresses a prayer request.

Do you know what I "hear" here??? I hear prejudice here, and a belief that you know how to do things better than the members who already ARE members. That suggests that you might have a feeling of superiority. It is as if you are embarrassed by being associated with people who may not be as educated as you.

When you join with a body of believers, you are taking them "as is" and without reservation. If you can't do that, then this church might not be the one for you.

 

bapmom, I understood what you said and that is what our church does, but I didn't understand what Melissa was referring to.

Thanks for the explanation.

 

It was me!

 

I agree, since the pastor asked you to join, be honest with him about your reservation. Leave it to him. Also realize no church is perfect.

 

Not to sound like a quitter, but if the church only has about 150 members and it is as "gossippy" as you say it is, I'd find another church in another town. If you notice this without placing membership, it will probably get worse after you're a member. Granted, there is no perfect church (or I'd pack up and move next door!) but this seems more than a little odd.

 

I wish I could agree with TCassidy on this one.....

I really do, because the flesh would say "let 'em have it.."

But I really don't think it would be right to use a prayer request time as a time of pointing something out in this fashion. If there is one or two (or even more) people saying too much in their prayer request than those people ought to be spoken to in private first. The place and way to take care of it is not to make everyone in the room uncomfortable with equally ill behavior.

Hey, for all any of us know, this church is on the UP swing in this area. It could have been far worse a few months ago and is actually improving at this point. Who typically goes to church on Wednesday nights? Its the core.....the ones who have a real committment (usually). These are the people who most especially feel as if they are talking to family members. They don't need to be "taken down a notch", nor do they need any person to come in and decide that they ought to use prayer time as a way of pointedly making a point to other people in the room.

This in particular is one of my pet peeves. Who are we praying to when we pray? Are we making a prayer request in order to "teach someone else in the room a lesson"? Are we praying in our prayer in order to get someone else to sit up and listen to what we think they ought to be realizing? No, we pray out of a sincere heart with an actual request. If we truly feel this is a problem, than any prayer in regards to other people's actions ought to be done privately.

Get some love in your heart towards these people. Thats what you really need. I know love doesn't come all at once when we are talking about strangers.....thats why I say this. Ask God to help you feel His love for them. You would not want THEM praying in front of you in this fashion about some weakness which YOU have......right?

Do unto others.............?

 

slander n [ME sclaundre, slaundre, fr. OF esclandre, fr. LL scandalum stumbling block, offense] : a false report maliciously uttered and tending to injure the reputation of a person — slan•der•ous adj
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To be slander, it must be untrue.