A question part II

The best birth control is abstinence.

 

I notice she is your "fiance" and not your wife. You might want to find out how God feels about pre-marital sex first.

peace to youraying:

 

There are many reasons why sex before marriage is out. God says, "No." The world says, "Go ahead." When peole have sex it changes them in many ways. It is great in a marriage but destroys before a marriage. It destroys the ability to learn how to be friends and solve problems and increase the communication level. It changes a person hormonally. Very little information is available about what happens to a person physically.

Sex in a relationship is much like building a very nice building. It takes a master with al the skill he has to build a great building but the building can be destroyed by anyone in a very short time. Sex in a marriage is a wonderful thing but too often overrated. Sex before marriage does nothing but create distrust and destroy what trust was already built. It creates more problems because of distrust and disappointment. It does not allow time to build trust and learn how to solve problems. Sex is powerful and when used properly builds but when used improperly it destroys. The proper use is reserved for marriage and in accordance with what the Bible teaches. It improper use is outside of the legal marriage between a man and a woman.

Stick with what God wants and that decision will give you many years of blessing. If you do not then will come years of heartache and disappointment.

Sex does not solve any kind of communication problems. In fact it creates more. When sex occurs there are more things to deal with. Out of great communication in a marriage comes great blessing of so many things you can't even begin to imagine. So do things right. You have one chance to do it the best way--God's way.

 

Your 19, not married, and worried about birth control. Have I got that straight?
At this point in your life birth control is called abstinence.
Anything else is called sin.
After marriage is something else.
But prehaps you two have only been discussing what you will do once married?

 

First, I think some of you need to reread. He didn't say they were having sex. He said they were engaged, and during engagement, a couple should be discussing birth control. So it is a perfectly legitimate question. (If they are having sex they need to stop.)

Second, as to birth control, there are various opinions. If a couple of child bearing age never intends to have babies, I would not marry them. However, I see nothing wrong in the use of non-abortifacents for birth control for the sake of family planning.

 

I agree w/Pastor Larry...about the appropriateness of discussing this issue...if said couple is engaged and undergoing premarital counseling.

I also don't have an issue with non-abortifacent methods of birth control. But if you two are seriously on two different sides regarding this issue, more discussion with your pastor is very wise.

 

God called us to be stewards (caretakers) of what he has provided

By not using birth control you are abdicating that responsibility.

Some might say they are giving the responsibility to God; I’d say they are giving it to chance.

Do the responsible thing.

Rob

 

Very odd stance. The decision to have, or not have, children is theirs, not yours and theirs. What if a young woman has a condition where childbearing would threaten her life? What if she, or he, were unable to have children? To you, marriage is only about reproduction?

 

It's not odd at all. There are many who share it. God's plan for life in normaly circumstances is children and families. Most who choose not to have children are doing so for selfish reasons. I am not sure of any voluntary reason not to have children that does not involve selfishness.

Marriage is not only about reproduction. But children are a part of God's plan.

I think it is strange to ask about medical conditions or ability. Why in the world would you bring something like that up? Of course that isn't a consideration in my statement. My statement considers willingness and intent, not inability. If someone is unable for physical reasons to have children, that is fine. So I think your question is completely misguided in that it does not flow from what I said.

 

Sure it does, but thanks for the clarification. If a young woman knows that bearing children will threaten her life, I think she would intend to not have them.

Still, no matter how many people believe something weird, it is still weird, and again, their intent is no business of yours.

 

If you think your conclusion flows from what I said, you need to reread closer, and think more critically. There is no legitimate way that you can get your reading from my words. It simply isn't there. Being the author of my words, I know very well what they mean. Being the holder of my position, I know very well what it is. You are simply incorrect.

Consider your statement about a woman's life being threatened. She does not intend to have them becuase of her ability to have them safely. If you think about my position, then you will understand that there is no contradiction. She is not unwilling; she is unable. I can't imagine how much simpler than can be, but somehow you seem to have missed it, looking for a problem where there is none.

Furthermore, why is their intent to fulfill God's plan for life of no business to the pastor of the church to which they are accountable, and who they are asking to marry them?

I am not bound to marry anyone. I will marry only those who I believe intend to live life God's way. I don't marry people who are living together, or couples where both parties are not saved. I don't marry people who are not faithful in church attendance, being under the regular ministry of the Word. I don't marry people who I believe are spiritually or emotionally too immature to conceive of marriage God's way. So there are a lot of people I won't marry, based on what I believe the Bible teaches marriage to be.

 

You will be faced with many more changes throughout life. Some things I thought would never happen have happened to me.

 

you and your fiance need to be praying about this together. Does she have Bible reasons for her stance? and do you have Bible reasons for yours?

the two of you need to research the various types of birth control out there. There are some which are objectionable, as others have stated. There are some which can cause an abortion and the woman doesn't even know it happened.

But there are other methods you might find that you'd have no objections with. It is important to get on the same page with each other though, as soon as possible. This is an issue that can quickly come between you and cause real bitterness and anger.

Remember too, children are always a blessing - they are never sent by God as a curse. You trust God to care for you? You can also trust Him to care for your children.

 

My apologies to you. I have assumed something I should not have. Forgive me.

peace to youraying:

 

Hey, is God in charge of everything--I mean, everything? So is He in charge of how many kids a couple's gonna have? Do any of you think that God would give a couple one child too many? Do you think that God would give you maybe more kids at the wrong time/ not spaced out evenly, without giving you the grace, patience, know-how, etc. to raise them? Do some of you think that God doesn't know when to stop giving a couple sweet little trouble-making (you know I'm joking, right? ) anklebiters? Shucks, if that's all true, who needs birth control?
DRF