• Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

"Bring your wife"...

Earth Wind and Fire

Earth Wind and Fire

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
A church that I was attending last year kept insisting that I bring my wife to church with me. I explained to them & the Pastor 'painstakingly' that she was hurt in the past so she refuses to attend. But even after that, I kept getting suggestions.... even to the point that one women stated," leave now & go home & bring her back." I smiled & told her that she wont come back. Then I wondered just how critical it is to have women present in the church. Unfortunately my wife is animent she will not go. Now she believes in Christ, considers herself Christian but these past experiences have just hardened her heart....and I cant say I blame her...those experiences were pretty bad, very humiliating & caustic. And the poor & secular condition of most churches in my area make me hard pressed to even bring up the topic with her.

Bottom my bottom line question is, why force someone....why put pressure on me to make her attend? Its kinda like a guilt trip....you are bad bad bad if you don't attend as a couple.....and I'm sure there are allot of women out there who's husbands wont attend....so what do you do? I just pray for my dear wife, that the hardness will go away, that the Lord will find something for us thats godly, biblical & compassionate....but its under His time-frame, not mine.
 
M

matt wade

Well-Known Member
What do you do? You look those people square in the eye and tell them that you will be praying that God helps them mind their own business.
 
D

Don

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
How about this: Tell them to leave right now and go visit your wife. When was the last time they went and visited with her, trying to make her feel welcome, instead of putting the requirement on her?
 
Earth Wind and Fire

Earth Wind and Fire

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Don said:
How about this: Tell them to leave right now and go visit your wife. When was the last time they went and visited with her, trying to make her feel welcome, instead of putting the requirement on her?
Click to expand...

Solid point my brother....solid point.
 
D

Darrell C

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Earth said:
A church that I was attending last year kept insisting that I bring my wife to church with me. I explained to them & the Pastor 'painstakingly' that she was hurt in the past so she refuses to attend. But even after that, I kept getting suggestions.... even to the point that one women stated," leave now & go home & bring her back." I smiled & told her that she wont come back. Then I wondered just how critical it is to have women present in the church. Unfortunately my wife is animent she will not go. Now she believes in Christ, considers herself Christian but these past experiences have just hardened her heart....and I cant say I blame her...those experiences were pretty bad, very humiliating & caustic. And the poor & secular condition of most churches in my area make me hard pressed to even bring up the topic with her.

Bottom my bottom line question is, why force someone....why put pressure on me to make her attend? Its kinda like a guilt trip....you are bad bad bad if you don't attend as a couple.....and I'm sure there are allot of women out there who's husbands wont attend....so what do you do? I just pray for my dear wife, that the hardness will go away, that the Lord will find something for us thats godly, biblical & compassionate....but its under His time-frame, not mine.
Click to expand...

I've seen a number of instances over the years where family members eventually start coming. My own brother is one.

Bottom line, while I think fellowship is a good idea, Christianity is not something that results from Church attendance, church attendance results from Christianity. We can't force people to do something their conscience won't allow, and to try to do so can be disastrous. Any time a spouse is in a state we might think needs correction (and not saying you feel that way), the best approach is to simply maintain our own relationship with the Lord, and the influence that has will have the most impact:


1 Corinthians 7:12-14

King James Version (KJV)

12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.


Not saying your wife is unsaved, just presenting the principle behind this to illustrate the impact of one spouse's relationship with the Lord on the other. This applies even when both are believers. It's just expected that there are going to be circumstances where one spouse may not be as fervent as the other, or as close in their relationship with the Lord as the other.

So just be patient.


God bless.
 
T

tyndale1946

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Earth said:
A church that I was attending last year kept insisting that I bring my wife to church with me. I explained to them & the Pastor 'painstakingly' that she was hurt in the past so she refuses to attend. But even after that, I kept getting suggestions.... even to the point that one women stated," leave now & go home & bring her back." I smiled & told her that she wont come back. Then I wondered just how critical it is to have women present in the church. Unfortunately my wife is animent she will not go. Now she believes in Christ, considers herself Christian but these past experiences have just hardened her heart....and I cant say I blame her...those experiences were pretty bad, very humiliating & caustic. And the poor & secular condition of most churches in my area make me hard pressed to even bring up the topic with her.

Bottom my bottom line question is, why force someone....why put pressure on me to make her attend? Its kinda like a guilt trip....you are bad bad bad if you don't attend as a couple.....and I'm sure there are allot of women out there who's husbands wont attend....so what do you do? I just pray for my dear wife, that the hardness will go away, that the Lord will find something for us thats godly, biblical & compassionate....but its under His time-frame, not mine.
Click to expand...

The church is a mixed bag and the Lord knows it!... Let those least esteemed in the church judge!... I'm not implying that the church judge your wife that is not my intent!... What I'm pointing out is it is possible that some in the church also have been down the road that your wife has. They are the compassionate ones and the understanding ones. Search them out... They don't follow the crowd!... The other ones are afraid to look in the mirror... Afraid they might see their true nature... They are no better and worse. Remember Jesus said he who is without sin... Cast the first stone!... This is not scripture but it fits! "Never judge a man or woman until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Many can quote scripture but do not live the scripture they quote... Find those who do!... Brother Glen
 
Tom Bryant

Tom Bryant

Well-Known Member
Their response to you is just rude! People just need to mind their own business about your marriage relationships.
 
Earth Wind and Fire

Earth Wind and Fire

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Darrell C said:
I've seen a number of instances over the years where family members eventually start coming. My own brother is one.

Bottom line, while I think fellowship is a good idea, Christianity is not something that results from Church attendance, church attendance results from Christianity. We can't force people to do something their conscience won't allow, and to try to do so can be disastrous. Any time a spouse is in a state we might think needs correction (and not saying you feel that way), the best approach is to simply maintain our own relationship with the Lord, and the influence that has will have the most impact:


1 Corinthians 7:12-14

King James Version (KJV)

12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.


Not saying your wife is unsaved, just presenting the principle behind this to illustrate the impact of one spouse's relationship with the Lord on the other. This applies even when both are believers. It's just expected that there are going to be circumstances where one spouse may not be as fervent as the other, or as close in their relationship with the Lord as the other.

So just be patient.


God bless.
Click to expand...

Oh she believes....she is just tired of being abused.....end result, she passes on church. It was her who dragged us to church during my sons formative years....but being told she is responsible for her childs being in hell was way over the top. She cracked up after that.

To add insult to injury, she saw my nephew, who was a vibrant & loving child become a recluse who now as an adult, lives in Mom & Dad's bedroom---seldom going out & cant hold a job....all because him & several other kids were abused by a pedophile who infiltrated their church. So there are two kinda churches that are perps....one a Orthodox Presby Church (arrogant SOB's) & Independent Baptist Bible Church. Now she concludes they are all rotten & refuses to go. Cant say I blame her....the North East isn't the Bible Belt, people don't go to church or go less & less as time progresses. Soon it will be completely void of any bible believing church...and as that happens, the moral decay will be unstoppable.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Earth Wind and Fire

Earth Wind and Fire

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Don's question was...."When was the last time they went and visited with her, trying to make her feel welcome, instead of putting the requirement on her?"

My answer: NEVER! Probably never occurred to them. & that's my point .....up here in the Noth, people don't go out to people....you are expected to beat a path to them however. AND THAT'S WHATS WRONG!!!!

I went to a Non Denom church who touts themselves as a community church....only they never really went out to the community....and that's over 45 years since having been established in the area. I WAS SHOCKED....now I'm just appalled.
 
Br. Dan

Br. Dan

Member
Earth said:
Easier said than done Dan. I'm from Northern NJ.....a far cry from the South & West. Most of the ones that do operate are very secular....at worst, apostate so......
Click to expand...

Well, I do understand, then I guess grinning and bearing it is the best option. I might consider asking the offending people...

"Would you please pray for us? We do need all the prayers we can get, and it is obvious that you need the practise" I would call that a win-win solution.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top