Calling Captain Picard!

Could someone tell him my shields are down to 20% and missiles engaged in launch sequence????

Sick here...would appreciate prayers. Lots of 'em. Tons. Just pray all over the place please. Everything in my body seems to have gotten scrambled.

 

Thanks, today went a LOT better, although last night I had a really nasty asthma attack. Cold triggers it and it's been in the 100's out here, so I had taken an ice pack and was putting it on my feet, back, hands, and then was stupid enough to lay it on my chest, not thinking. Worst one I've had in a very long time but my emergency inhaler was next to me and after three puffs I was able to get to the shower where DH had turned on the hot water so I could inhale the steam and it left quickly. Very sore in the chest/ribs today from it, but that's a normal after-effect.

I'm really depressed right now as I checked out the weather all the way through the end of July and there's not a single day that won't be in the nineties or hundreds. Heat triggers my lupus. The doctor won't officially diagnosis it on paper for legal reasons because although I've tested positive in all ways, the one that seals it is still negative and apparently there's too many lawsuits from lupus patients because the treatment is so harsh, but has it in his records and treats it as such. So this most recent flare has no end in sight. It's messed up because cold triggers asthma but helps the arthritis, heat helps the asthma but triggers the lupus symptoms. It's extremely frustrating!

God is still God and has His reasons for letting this happen though. I'm beginning to see some of those reasons and they all seem to center on my desire to be independent and not trust my husband to do his job of providing, I've been burned before and have an innate drive to make sure I'm the one in control. Being physically down is forcing me to let go and let God, which I must admit is my primary sin and struggle in this world. Even with this illness, when I get a break I go at it again. Forget all too fast...so maybe that's what the real prayer is that I should be requesting. That I let go and let God completely guide my path instead of letting fear get in the way of that...and quit making excuses to justify my doing so. The price isn't worth it but it's like an addiction...when I feel better my best intentions go right out the window.