xdisciplex
New Member
When you're always told how bad and evil you are and that actually you deserved to burn in hell for all eternity will this not cause a person to become rebellious more than ever? :tear:
When I hear such things then sometimes I feel like getting too much and sometimes it also angers me, does this mean I'm rebellious? But imagine your teacher always tells you have unable you are then wouldn't this also anger you sooner or later?
But sometimes it's like when I hear this stuff about hell and that every human deserved burning in hell forever then I cannot really comprehend it and then it's as if I argue with myself and try to convince myself that I also deserved going to hell but somehow this isn't easy. What if I'm too rebellious to be a christian or what if I'm too rebellious to stay a christian? What if one day I simply get too much and say "I don't care anymore, I cannot stand this fire and brimstone stuff anymore"?
It's simply so strange. Often I find myself thinking exactly the same thoughts which an atheist would think and then it's like I have to convince myself that God is right but what if I don't really agree with God and only want to agree with God because I'm scared of going to hell? What if this is the true motivation and if God couldn't harm me then maybe I wouldn't agree with him anymore.
But if you don't want to go to hell you have to agree with God, you simply have to. What if the fear of hell is the only reason why I try to make myself agree with all these things? What if I would be like the atheists which attack God if I had no fear of hell? What if the only difference between them and me is that I'm scared of hell while they are not scared of hell and because of this they attack God? How am I supposed to know this?
Somehow it's always the same and it never ends. I have had this so often that I would argue with myself as if there were two parties in my brain and one argues for and the other one argues against God.
How is this supposed to go on? What if I simply can't really trust God enough?
When I for example hear people which said they used to be christians and they prayed to God but he didn't do anything and then they fell off then I directly become scared and ask myself if God really deals with all people the same. Why are there people which convert and are allowed to experience God and then there are also christians which struggle and would like to experience God but they don't and they totally despair of it?
How do you not doubt God in such situations? Is this even possible to never doubt God no matter what happens? But even if it is possible what if I simply cannot do it? Does this mean I'm too evil to? :tear:
Does anybody even know what I'm talking about or is this pure theory to you? I wonder if others have the same problems or if it's just me. What if my real nature is simply too rebellious and I cannot be a christian because I'm simply not supposed to be one and I only try to force myself to be a christian? Sometimes I feel like I can't be a christian because I'm still so angry sometimes and get such vile thoughts. :tear:
When I hear such things then sometimes I feel like getting too much and sometimes it also angers me, does this mean I'm rebellious? But imagine your teacher always tells you have unable you are then wouldn't this also anger you sooner or later?
But sometimes it's like when I hear this stuff about hell and that every human deserved burning in hell forever then I cannot really comprehend it and then it's as if I argue with myself and try to convince myself that I also deserved going to hell but somehow this isn't easy. What if I'm too rebellious to be a christian or what if I'm too rebellious to stay a christian? What if one day I simply get too much and say "I don't care anymore, I cannot stand this fire and brimstone stuff anymore"?
It's simply so strange. Often I find myself thinking exactly the same thoughts which an atheist would think and then it's like I have to convince myself that God is right but what if I don't really agree with God and only want to agree with God because I'm scared of going to hell? What if this is the true motivation and if God couldn't harm me then maybe I wouldn't agree with him anymore.
But if you don't want to go to hell you have to agree with God, you simply have to. What if the fear of hell is the only reason why I try to make myself agree with all these things? What if I would be like the atheists which attack God if I had no fear of hell? What if the only difference between them and me is that I'm scared of hell while they are not scared of hell and because of this they attack God? How am I supposed to know this?
Somehow it's always the same and it never ends. I have had this so often that I would argue with myself as if there were two parties in my brain and one argues for and the other one argues against God.
How is this supposed to go on? What if I simply can't really trust God enough?
When I for example hear people which said they used to be christians and they prayed to God but he didn't do anything and then they fell off then I directly become scared and ask myself if God really deals with all people the same. Why are there people which convert and are allowed to experience God and then there are also christians which struggle and would like to experience God but they don't and they totally despair of it?
How do you not doubt God in such situations? Is this even possible to never doubt God no matter what happens? But even if it is possible what if I simply cannot do it? Does this mean I'm too evil to? :tear:
Does anybody even know what I'm talking about or is this pure theory to you? I wonder if others have the same problems or if it's just me. What if my real nature is simply too rebellious and I cannot be a christian because I'm simply not supposed to be one and I only try to force myself to be a christian? Sometimes I feel like I can't be a christian because I'm still so angry sometimes and get such vile thoughts. :tear: