Changing Denominations

[riverm]

There’s a discussion going on in a Baptist Only area and since technically I am still a Baptist, but no longer attend a Baptist church, I will respect the rules and post a similar question here.

The thread is entitled “Changing Churches” and the question is should the wife follow her husband to a new church even if she doesn’t agree with the move.

I’d like to take the question one step further. What if the husband wanted to leave a Baptist Church and start attending a Roman Catholic Mass? Changing denominations.

I will admit in my spiritual journey I felt the Lord was leading me to the Catholic Church and I was raised an Independent Fundamental Baptist and my wife was raised a Methodist. I studied a lot about the RCC, both sides of the issue and finally after reading some about Luther and his complaint against the RCC, I started to decide against joining the RCC.

I did attend Mass a few times and me researching the Church was causing some stress in our marriage. My wife never attended Mass with me and even if I decided to follow through I would never make or force my wife to join me.

We have since started going to a Methodist Church and are involved in their 32 week Disciple program.

My wife called our then preacher and ask if I were to swim the Tiber and convert to Catholicism, if she was biblical obligated to follow. The senior Pastor said no, but the associate Pastor said yes.

So what say ye? Biblically, was my wife obligated?

Blessings

 

[FriendofSpurgeon]

What Scripture would force her to attend a church against her will? And, what type of husband would "require" (or even ask) her to attend a church where she did not want to be??

In our home, it is a family decision. OK, more of a mom and dad decision, but we take our children's views into account account as well.

I can't imagine mandating that "this is our church and this is where we will be attending." Doesn't sound very servant-leader to me.

 

[riverm]

Hi FriendofSpurgeon:

Thanks for the reply, but I never stated that I would “require” my wife to attend the church of my choice. Here’s my quote from the OP:

My wife never attended Mass with me and even if I decided to follow through [join the Catholic Church] I would never make or force my wife to join me.

I know most disconnect when they see the word Catholic, but what IF the “servant leader” (me, the husband) felt his Master (Jesus Christ) was leading him to the Catholic Church? Who should the “servant leader” obey, his Master, or his wife and kids?

Blessings,

 

[bmerr]

riverm,

bmerr here. I can't see Jesus "leading" anyone into the apostasy forewarned of in 1 Thes 2:3-12, 1 Tim 4:1-3, and Rev 12:3, 13-17, among others.

If I were in your shoes, I'd ask myself, "Is the church which Jesus built a denomination?"

I'd look for identifying marks of the NT church and see if I could find a group that fit the description. If I could find that, I'd find the Lord's church, and I wouldn't have to choose any of the 100's of denominations.

I know you didn't ask, but that's what I'd do.

Concerning your actual question, I'd say that each of us ought to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29), even if that person is our spouse. The cost of Christianity can be that high.

In Christ,

bmerr

 

[riverm]

Hi bmerr:

Thanks for the reply. I am certain that the Lord was leading me out of the bondage of legalism I was under in a Fundamental Baptist Church. Only when I left I didn’t know where to turn to, with over thousands of different denominations all basing their doctrine off the bible it can be quite overwhelming.

The important thing is, is that I didn’t get ahead of the Lord and make a hasty decision like converting to Catholicism, without first praying, praying and praying about it.

And I agree with your comment here:

Originally posted by bmerr:
Concerning your actual question, I'd say that each of us ought to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29), even if that person is our spouse. The cost of Christianity can be that high.

Leaving the Fundamental Baptist Church, you’d think that according to my parents I am now lost for attending a Methodist Church. It’s like to them there’s no salvation outside the Baptist Church, especially a KJV Bible believing, soul winning, ‘ol time religion, fundamental Baptist. My uncle, my dad’s brother, has been attending a Church of Christ and my uncle told me that my dad recently told him that anyone that isn’t a Baptist will go to hell (of course this is hearsay, but after hearing my mother condemn people to hell, I wouldn’t doubt it). Their Church is almost cult like...

Blessings

 

[bapmom]

Speaking as the wife, I believe I would have to draw the line at attending a church which I believed was outright unBiblically sound and actively teaching false doctrines. This is a far cry from just going to a church my husband liked better than I did.
I'd also do everything I could to keep my children out of such a church. You understand, I would consider the difference between Catholic and Baptist as being more than merely denominational.

All in all, I could see no real good coming from such a situation. It would divide the family, and Im glad that you and your wife could come to a mutual understanding on a church you both believe is Biblically sound.

 

[bapmom]

Originally posted by riverm:
Hi bmerr:

Thanks for the reply. I am certain that the Lord was leading me out of the bondage of legalism I was under in a Fundamental Baptist Church. Only when I left I didn’t know where to turn to, with over thousands of different denominations all basing their doctrine off the bible it can be quite overwhelming.

The important thing is, is that I didn’t get ahead of the Lord and make a hasty decision like converting to Catholicism, without first praying, praying and praying about it.

And I agree with your comment here:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by bmerr:
Concerning your actual question, I'd say that each of us ought to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29), even if that person is our spouse. The cost of Christianity can be that high.

Leaving the Fundamental Baptist Church, you’d think that according to my parents I am now lost for attending a Methodist Church. It’s like to them there’s no salvation outside the Baptist Church, especially a KJV Bible believing, soul winning, ‘ol time religion, fundamental Baptist. My uncle, my dad’s brother, has been attending a Church of Christ and my uncle told me that my dad recently told him that anyone that isn’t a Baptist will go to hell (of course this is hearsay, but after hearing my mother condemn people to hell, I wouldn’t doubt it). Their Church is almost cult like...

Blessings </font>[/QUOTE]I hope you do realize that not all of us are like that.

 

[bmerr]

riverm,

bmerr here. Without a doubt, family members can have a strong influence on us. I certainly don't have a problem with "old time religion", but I want a religion older than the IFB. It's not old enough.

I'd go back to the pages of my NT and see what I can learn of the church that Jesus built. When it started, what they taught, how people came to be in it, how they worshipped, what they did, etc.

Jesus said He would build His "church", (singular), and with the vast sea of religious organizations out there, many claiming to be the "one, true church", I'll agree it can be very confusing (1 Cor 14:33).

Take your wife, get out your Bible, and do some serious investigation on the church in the NT. Some of the things I listed above might be a starting point for you. That done, start looking for a group that patterns itself after what you've found in the NT, and you will have found the church that Jesus built.

There is an element of exclusivity to Christianity. While all are welcome, the way is strait (restrictive), and narrow, and Jesus said that "few there be that find it" (Matt7:14). Anyone found outside of the church that Jesus built (Matt 16:18), and purchased with His own blood (Acts 20:28), will sadly end up in hell for eternity.

I wish you success in your search. If I can help you in any way, it would be my pleasure.

In Christ,

bmerr

 

[riverm]

Originally posted by bapmom:
I hope you do realize that not all of us are like that.

Hi bapmom:

Of course I realize that no all IFB are cult like. The IFB I used to attend was great and I enjoyed the preaching, but I didn’t feel that my walk with Christ was developing and my wife felt the same thing. The KJVO, dress wearing etc…didn’t bother me, but here’s what did.

One particular Pastor a young kid that the other Pastors ordained was put in charge of Soul winning. Now I have no problem with those that door knock, my wife and I tried it and it was just something we found to be uncomfortable doing, but I’ll pray for those out doing it.

This Pastor in the pulpit made an announcement, which was nothing more than a persuasive mind trick to try and guilt the congregation into going door knocking and then he ask for a show of hands. Well I didn’t raise my hand, but I felt eye’s burning holes in me and I felt like I was less of a Christian.

Next, I don’t have a problem with Altar Calls, but some were really persuasive. I feel the Pastor could preach a sermon, and then have an Altar Call, without the begging and crying. Let the Holy Spirit do the convicting. Second, if someone did respond, there was no way for the new Christian to develop his or her Christian walk. A 30 minute Sunday school lesson wasn’t enough. When I ask about this the Associate Pastor told me that they didn’t believe in “round table” discussion, only preaching. Of my years there at this IFB Church I can count on my hands how many accepted Christ there and stayed and became members. The Church is growing, but only by transfer of memberships.

Finally, I had an issue with closed communions. A friend of mine, a Methodist, visited Church with me to hear a special speaker. So happened it was Communion Sunday. It never dawned on me until that moment, but the Preacher’s comment was that unless one has been “scripturally” baptized they couldn’t partake in the Lords Table. I felt bad for my friend and was embarrassed, b/c I felt like he was thinking that I was a better Christian than he, because I was immersed and he was sprinkled.

If baptism isn’t what saves and communion is nothing more than a remembrance anyway, then why should it matter?

The Communion issue and the lacking of Discipleship are the main reasons I left my IFB church.

Blessings

 

[BobRyan]

#1. As you point out - there had to be "other" IFB groups that are a bit more reasonable.

#2. Finding an error or bad practice in a given Methodist congregation does not justify going out and becoming a JW. God would not lead into "more darkness" just because the current congregation was in error on something. The key is to find a better Baptist church - or something that BUILDs on the truths that you DO have. Not take a giant leap back.

#3. You give some reasons as to why ou might want to leave that IFB congregation - and I can't blame you, they sound like good reasons. But you don't show why the alternative to a mediocre - "wrong?" IFB congregation is the RCC? How do you make that leap?

There is "a reason" why the RCC is the one that presided over the slaughter of millions of Christians in the dark ages and then claims "infallability" to this very day. And the reason is not "those mean old Protesting Catholics" that were trying to reform the RCC from within.

In Christ,

Bob

 

[bapmom]

riverm,

actually I was glad to hear what you said. And Id have to agree with BobRyan in his response as well.

To me this would just be an incentive to find a Baptist church that IS discipling, rather than throw out "baptist" entirely.

 

[steaver]

So what say ye? Biblically, was my wife obligated?

Biblically, both husband and wife are given specific roles to carry out. Both are to follow what Jesus has told them to do for their own well being.

"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing".(Eph 5:24)

It would not be a sin to submit to your husband and go with him to a mass. Therefore if he asked you to go against your wishes you should trust God and go. I don't think you could go wrong honoring God's command to submit to him because God honors your submissiveness and would surely open his eyes to the RCC and then when he led you out of there your marriage would be highly strenthened and his love hightened greatly for your loyality while letting him make his mistakes.

To worship as the RCC does would be sin, but you would not have to participate in their idolatries, that would be sin, and not sinning trumps obeying your husband, if it would be that he ask you to commit sin in this way.

You would be there only to support your husband and honor God. Wives should let their husbands lead and with that burden comes great responsibility for the man. Let him lead and let him fail. If you are honoring God, God will deal with your husband. Wives are to quick many times to demand their husbands decisions. If it is not sin, let it play out and trust God because otherwise it is a sin for you not to submit and let him lead.

Honoring God's word to submit can never fail you. I know it is terribly hard to let him mess up ecspecially when you see that it could disrupt the entire family. But honoring God cannot fail.

So is she "obligated"? She should seek the Lord and ask Him if this falls under His word for submission. He does say "in every thing". Of course sin is excluded.

God Bless!