How about the attitude of "I know what's going on in her heart and because she's doing this she's obviously got to be in sin"?
Or, how about, "I disregard the fact that I don't know the entire situation and judge her anyways"?
Umm, and there's another attitude that I'm sick and tired of. Christians can't disagree with anything these days without this constant accusation that we are being judgemental.
Just for you Adopted Daughter here's something I read earlier today:
Ps.141:5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be (for them)in their calamities.
When someone confronts you about a sin or fault in such a way that you feel "caught", but the sin you are accused of looks SO defamatory that it frightens you; are you willing to yield and seek repentance out and away from your sin? Or are you more likely to be outraged, that some other "imperfect person" dares to find fault with you? When someone continues to remind you of your "besetting sin", can you just say "Amen, Lord have mercy", or do you seek opportunity for revenge? Do you invite reproof as a kindness, an excellent oil? Or do you like to think that only a self-righteous and critical person would ever dare to criticize you? Is it so, that anyone who dares to mention your "mote in your eye ", ought to be immediately reminded that their attempt to reprove you is only the evidence of the "beam in their own eye "?
Jesus prophesied, "Because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold." One of the most visible evidences of the fulfillment of this prophecy is that even among Christians, reproof is not welcome. Do you ever submit to reproof from anyone who has no carnal power to punish you for resisting? Are you unwilling to confront anyone else for their sins or errors, unless you are sure that there is no way for them punish you for doing so? Do you "fellowship in the light", or are you party to a multitude of "unspoken agreements", in which you will tolerate someone else's faults and errors, if only they will tolerate YOURS?
If someone complains about the terrible circumstances of their life, almost everyone will volunteer to pray for them, but only so they can escape from the inquiry into WHY such trouble came. If, as is usually expected, there is no answer to their prayer, they can remember that they prayed and excuse themselves from any further involvement. Even if the connection between this person's sins and the consequences of his sins are clearly seen, there will probably be no open rebuke for fear of reprisals. If they face this troubled person again, they can always reassure them that God loves them, thereby making it "all God's fault", Who supposedly, didn't do anything to help. But what we really have here, is the case in which God did intervene by placing the word of correction in YOUR heart and mouth, even though He knew you wouldn't risk that other person's wrath by confronting them. So, in the end, you are judged as unfaithful and cowardly for failing to confront your brother, and the word of reproof is denied to the brother who needed to hear it because he was unteachable. Besides, it is now commonly held, that anyone who would be so bold as to point out to someone else their sins has no love, or is guilty of unrighteous judging.
Prov.15:31 The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise.