Consequences of no consequences

I know im a bit young for this but... I believe that it is more kind to be firm when they are young. It will teach them to be responsible and not late. If they go on in life thinking that they can just do something over because they did it wrong the first then their in for some disappointment. I had alot of chances to witness to people but i didn't do it. I can't go back in time and change what didn't do. On a job most the time if you do something wrong you can't fix. And your right about God letting everyone into Heaven. That goes completely against what God said in the Bible! So much for John 3:3. Why did Jesus have to die if God is going to let everybody in? There would be no point in a Hell or sin. Why... you fill in the rest.

 

We set boundaries and keep them, that seems like common sense to me.

It's much kinder to be firm yet loving when they are young and experience consequences from the beginning. I get sick of the feeling of entitlement so many have now.

 

I think this is probably a bit subjective (and I'm almost 10 years over 30). The examples you describe existed when I was a kid, and look how well I turned out

If the boundary is already set at "10 points subtracted for everyday late" at the beginning, that's fine. If, howoever, it is a revision from "late = fail", then I see your point. But in all aspects that I've seen with my own kids, those rules existed from the beginnig of their class/assignment, so they knew them going in, and they rarely have changed after the fact.

I'm all for establishing the guidelines at the beginning, and sticking to it. I'm not, however, in favor of "most severe rule in every situation" as a requirement for being firm.

 

I'm seeing this even in families with stay home moms. Even christian parents are not firm enough many times, and give in too easily.
I agree sin has consequences,and kids need to learn that. Which I believe is one reason society has taken away a lot of consequences, now people are raised to not feel responsable.
Take that beating a pseeding ticket thread in another forum for instance.

 

It doesn't take a divorced or working mom to give kids too much stuff. Theres something strange now a days, kids NEED everything,and they get it. Mine never did untill they were old enough to work and buy it themselves.

 

I'm a divorced parent (remarried now). I think the "dovirced parent giving stuff" stereotype is as inaccurate as the "dead beat dad" stereotype (the ratio of dead beat moms is considerably higher than deadbeat dads, in some areas, twice as high).

I've known several divorced parents, and the number who "spoil" their kids is relatively few. In fact, the financial strain that divorce itself puts on parents tends to preclude the "gift showering".

 

Its all about standards.

We cannot allow our society to raise our children or set the standards for them.

 

Well TexasSky I don't know about all that I don't think that in the school I'm in a person can just retest,but I do know what you saying this world is just out of control.

 

its good to set boundaries when they are young

so they can learn for when they get older,but if

both parents dont agree on the terms then it

doesnt work--let it be known that if you were

brought up in the strict home and you think that

bringing up your kids like that--impossible

 

Dr Bob

the reason i didnt put a church down was because the churches in our town are self absorbed they read out of the kjvo and i only read the niv we were going to first babtist church for 5 mos and everything was fine til my daughter accidentally got pregnant atan early age and since the pastor who knew the boy longer than he knew us purposely suggested that my daughter slept around because he asked the boy if he was sure it was his and i didnt agree with that i think that a pastor should be more closed about what he says and try to work by talking to both parties before he assumes anything that is why i didnt mention a church we are not currently going to church but we do home church on saturdays and sundays

 

Yeah, not every area has a good church to go to. It's a shame.

 

If this, the tone of your posts, the mocking misspelling of the word baptist, is how you treat people, maybe it's not the church you went to that has a problem, maybe it's you.

Here's a suggestion.
Discuss problems you might have and try to come to an understanding with people.

If you can't do that, don't join a baptist board. I come here for fellowship, not to be mocked.

 

I think perhaps, Angel face, you have given us an example of where a good consequence was needed but unfortunately for now you've chosen a bad consequence. It sounds like your family NEEDS church right now, but instead you have taken them away from the place where they could be helped. The pastor's question to that boy was not out of place, it was quite appropriate as you said he knows the boy far better than he knows your girl.

To me this shows kids that they can say something they did ON PURPOSE was just an accident, and their parents will excuse it and then become offended at the pastor who is trying to help out both parties.

Id encourage you to go back to that church and get under some good gospel preaching. If you are staying home than you are NOT going to church. Church is a fellowship of believers in a local body, it is not just your family sitting at home having personal devotions. Please, let your daughter see a good example, and experience some of the consequences of her own actions. Her own actions are what caused the pastor to ask that question, and that is one of the consequences she must now deal with.

I encourage you to forgive the pastor, especially since I do not see how he said anything wrong. And you need to get the anger out of your own heart, and do whats right for your child.