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Diff between Aussies, Brits, Yanks & Canucks?!

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by Athanasian Creed, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. Athanasian Creed

    Athanasian Creed New Member

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    Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
    Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
    Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
    Canadians: Believe that's the government's job.

    Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
    Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
    Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
    Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

    Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
    Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
    Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 5 channels.
    Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

    Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
    Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans.
    Canadians: Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.

    Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
    Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
    Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice playing baseball.
    Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.

    Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
    Brits: Pronounce their words differently but still call it "English."
    Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
    Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say.

    Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
    Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
    Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping & gas in a backwards country.
    Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping & gas in a backwards country.

    Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
    Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
    Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem when they can be bothered to sing them.
    Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

    Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways and avoid assimilation.
    Americans: Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly and dump their old ways.
    Brits: Encourage immigrants to go to Canada or America.

    Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
    Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
    Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
    Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.

    Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
    Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short,Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
    Americans: Think that these people are American!
    Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humour.



    Ray :smilewinkgrin:
     
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