Divorce and Remarriage

God does not want anyone to divorce, but man will do what he wants to do and justify it with eloquence (another reason to thank God for the tongue and brain, fallen as they are), twisting Scripture to say what he wants it to say.

Most Christians will say that marriage was instituted by God and is to be patterned after Christ's relationship and love for His church, yet think about this:

If divorce and remarriage were Scriptural, and divorce is allowed only in cases of adultery or defilement of the marriage bed, every believer in the New Testament, from Paul to Peter to Tertullian to Calvin to Arminius to that quiet little 21st century guy or girl sitting in church every Sunday, would have been divorced by God already, and Christ has no pure church to present to Himself, because every spiritual unfaithfulness, from ecumenism to watered down doctrines to downright heresy or failure to pray (violates the command pray without ceasing) man commits is spiritual adultery.

Who can stand against the eyes of a Holy God ?

That is why His church is hid in Christ, because Christ is faithful and the only one who is faithful. We are not. We are faithless !

Divorce is a no-no, adultery or not, to God, and so is remarriage after divorce.

If I were still pastoring a church today, I would welcome divorced and remarried couples to worship with the church, but I would hardly encourage them to join in membership with the church.

That is where I stand.

Many here stand with you.

 

So let me make sure I understand what you're saying. Let's say a lost couple, Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue, come to your community. Because of their sinful lifestyle their lives are a mess. They've both been married twice before and there is a house full of kids, some his, some hers, and some thiers. You meet them, gain their trust, and as you share Christ with them they get saved and commit to live the rest of their lives for Jesus. You're going to tell them that they are welcome to worship in your church, but they cannot join the fellowship and become a member?

 

Its a question that didn't arise this day but has been around since the days of Moses through Christ and now us. You will find answers that will be posted on here to fit every situation. I for one have wrestled with this same question since being ordained 34 years ago and Pastored the last 25 with going on 18 years at this same church. We accept what is known as the "innocent party" and someone as yourself who lives as a "enuch". To say I know I am absolutely right I don't as I said I still am seeking the right answer as they have all through time. That is one that will have to be answered when we see God face to face. I find comfort for myself knowing I can't keep anyone from going to Heaven for Salvation is of the Lord but I may cause them to miss some joy here in this life so, Yes it does concern me and always will. bless,

 

So people with problems in their past can't follow Jesus in discipleship and service in a local church? Sounds like you think it is the unpardonable sin.

 

Alright. I see where you're going. Let me rephrase that. If they joined the church AFTER the fact of divorce and remarriage, I would have no problem.
If they divorce AFTER they join the church, despite counselling and much advice from elders, then they will have to leave the church.
I apologize for the mix-up.

 

I suffered a 'unwanted divorce' as a Christian, Jesus said the only grounds for divorce was 'unfaithfulness' I believe I can marry again if I wish.

Actually what constitutes a 'marriage' does some ceremony and a ring make you married? Paul said to the Corinthians with regards to joining even with a prostitute ' do you not know, 2 become one flesh' marriage in God's eyes in my opinion has to do with committment between 2 people and not some vow ( which we are told not to make ) we all break promises but let our yes be yes and no be no. Marriage is for life it is the joining of 2 people, they become 1 flesh.

We are all sinners and Jesus has paid for our sin. Marriage is to be honoured we are told.

Actually a study on marriage and the events around it would be interesting.

When Moses ran away from Egypt he got married, was she a 'Christian' so to speak?

'Only in the Lord' comes to mind!

 

Here is an interesting study that I listened to the other day on this very subject: http://www.bereanbiblechurch.in/messages/sunday2004/adultery.htm

I have to agree with him in that I find no evidence where God has changed His position that marriage is only ended by death.

 

God did not require David to leave Bathsheba, and he still blessed them and used David to further His purpose.

 

David had many wives as was the custom for rich people in the O.T. David also had at least 10 concubines. My point is that it is questionable to use O.T. examples since their culture was very different at that time.

 

Lostness has never made sin clean. Only the blood of Christ makes the lost clean.

 

? Where in Scripture does God ever state that one style of divorce is better than another?

 

Brother Bob,

You are more in line with what I find the struggle to be. And defining how we as the Church should deal with sin is always a struggle.

God bless

 

God hates divorce. However, I do think that there are Biblically based reasons why divorce is permissible. One is if your spouse is unfaithful (and some interpret this even to mean even if they are engaged in pornography, etc.) Another is if an unbelieving spouse divorces you. I should warn you that I have been the victim of both, and I have been divorced twice, first because my unbelieving spouse left me, and the second time because my so-called believing spouse was unfaithful and divorced me (I have my doubts as to whether she was a true believer, but she claims to be so I will not judge her on that). So while I don't think my view is skewed, you may think my view is skewed to justify my past. I won't blame you if you think that, but I would have to disagree with you.

However, I would also go so far as to say that we, as Christians, should forgive Christians who have an unbiblical divorce if they repent of it. When I say "repent of it", I mean they admit it was wrong and make the commitment never to do it again. I don't necessarily mean that they remarry their spouse. In some cases, this is the ideal means of repentence, and I think it is what the person should attempt to do if it is possible. But it it not always possible. Their spouse may have already "been" with another man/woman, or remarried. In those cases, the Bible says it is wrong to go back and remarry that person.

Sin is sin. If someone in your church sins willfully and tries to justify it, rebuke them. If they repent, forgive them. I believe this applies to all sin, including unbiblical divorce.

 

Your advise is unsound and I will pray for your exwifes. If you see them please let them know that I understand.

You anger management classes was it between wives or after or what? Maybe it will help someone else to stay cool when it comes to wives. Are you going to get you another one?

 

Not a response. Quoted for my own benefit.

 

Again my own personal post checker. Little boys will play though. Do you know how silly you look.

Hope you sleep well.

 

I started a thread on this over a year ago, and there was a raging debate on it, but people were citing and posting scripture. I haven't seen much of that -- just opinions (though I guess some are based on the Bible).

Having been divorced before I was saved (and not remarried since), I have not settled this issue in my mind yet.

What I do see in the church makes me ill - people divorcing because they are "incompatible," "verbal abuse" which they call abuse, or they try to make the fact that one mate is emotionally distant into "abandonment" in order to justify divorce. Of course, I think the Bible says if you are married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever leaves, then the marriage is ended. I am not sure if this applies to a believing spouse leaving. The divorce rate by believers is as high as non-Christians, so something is very wrong.

Basically, it seems most divorce by believers is not for the biblical grounds of adultery (or they redefine adultery).

This may be wrong, but I feel I am more justified in remarrying because I was divorced before I was saved (ex-husband has remarried and has 2 children by new wife), than for believers who divorce for non-biblical reasons to be remarried.

I thought that believers were supposed to try for reconciliation and even if divorce happens, to keep praying for that unless the ex-spouse has remarried.

 

I couldn't agree more! I used to belong to some Christian singles/penpal sites. I was appalled at how many Christian women (and I'm sure there were an equal amount of men, if not more) who posted that they were divorced because they "went in separate directions and weren't growing together anymore", or because "he never communicated with me" or "didn't meet my needs". These are serious problems, but ESPECIALLY if both spouses are Christians, the solution isn't divorce. I'm sure there are some good people on those sites, but they seemed to be such a tiny minority I gave up on them.

I agree 100% with both points.

 

Like I said in my first corrected post: