Dress code in church

[evangelist6589]

I am in a Fundamentalist churches and like all IFB churches in my area dress code for men is suit & tie. No official dress code in stone, but thats the way everyone dresses. When I was in a SBC church most did not dress this way and the degree and type of dress varied from SBC church to SBC church. I do not always feel like dressing up for church, so sometimes I do and sometimes I do not. I do not dress down (shirt & shorts, t-shirt, jeans) as when I do not wear a tie and suit, I will dress like I was working in a office environment whatever the name for that style of dress. Do you think this is a good idea, or will I get nonverbally judged (as in ignored, not taken seriously, kept at a distance)? This may be one of those issues that is a given and common sense for a Fundamentalist environment.

Thanks,


John

 

[JohnDeereFan]

I am in a Fundamentalist churches and like all IFB churches in my area dress code for men is suit & tie. No official dress code in stone, but thats the way everyone dresses. When I was in a SBC church most did not dress this way and the degree and type of dress varied from SBC church to SBC church. I do not always feel like dressing up for church, so sometimes I do and sometimes I do not. I do not dress down (shirt & shorts, t-shirt, jeans) as when I do not wear a tie and suit, I will dress like I was working in a office environment whatever the name for that style of dress. Do you think this is a good idea, or will I get nonverbally judged (as in ignored, not taken seriously, kept at a distance)? This may be one of those issues that is a given and common sense for a Fundamentalist environment.

You're going to find that most people here don't believe you should dress for church as if you're going to church and they will be extremely judgemental if you say that you believe we should honor God with the way we dress.

If you're asking me what I think, I would say that a nice pair of khaki pants, a button down shirt should be fine. Personally, I couldn't imagine going to church without a jacket and tie.

To illustrate what I said, watch. People are going to call me a Pharisee because I said that I prefer to wear a jacket and tie to church.

 

[StefanM]

I generally wear a pair of slacks with a dress shirt. Occasionally I might wear a polo shirt if the weather is hot. Sometimes I wear a tie, but often I don't. I pretty much never wear a suit or sportcoat.

 

[annsni]

If a church judges someone on what they wear to church as if a pair of jeans shows that they are ungodly, there is something wrong. Honestly, as long as things are relatively neat, covered up and the person is there with a heart dressed for the Lord, that's what matters.

In our new church, we tend to dress a bit more casually. My husband will tend to wear a nice pair of slacks, a polo shirt and have a jacket available. I wear what I'd consider "business casual", which is what I think you're thinking of. Last Sunday, I wore a nice pair of dress slacks and a knit top along with heels - something I'd be more than comfortable to wear to an office. I DID dress a little down when my daughter was in the hospital because I'd go straight from church to the hospital and I needed to be prepared to stay overnight but even that was neat and a step up from my everyday clothing.

So I'd say to not worry about the outward appearance. The Bible has a few things to say about that. Most important, go with a heart to worship the Lord and to learn from His Word. A reverent heart is what He wants you dressed in.

 

[Jim1999]

When I was a young pastor, and small churches, just come to church; dress was irelevant. I do remember a lady who asked me if she could attend church without a hat. My instant reply was, "I don't care if you come ina swimsuit, just come..." This was in a summer resort area by the way. The truth in essence, however, was expressed.

In my country churches, mostly farmers, they had one suit only and it was for church. Just come with an open heart and mind, and ears to hear. That is what counts in my mind.

Cheers,

Jim

 

[Havensdad]

You're going to find that most people here don't believe you should dress for church as if you're going to church and they will be extremely judgemental if you say that you believe we should honor God with the way we dress.

If you're asking me what I think, I would say that a nice pair of khaki pants, a button down shirt should be fine. Personally, I couldn't imagine going to church without a jacket and tie.

To illustrate what I said, watch. People are going to call me a Pharisee because I said that I prefer to wear a jacket and tie to church.

Don't think your a pharisee. A pharisee would say "You HAVE to wear a suit and tie to church" not "I prefer to wear a suit and tie to church."


I also agree with you that we should honor God with the way we dress. I personally just don't think that's with a suit and tie anymore. "Nice" dress is culturally determined, which is why we don't wear powdered wigs, and 18th century knee length jackets with ruffled shirts anymore.

In my opinion, the current equivalent of wearing a suit to church 50 years ago, would be wearing a nice button up long sleeve shirt, untucked (fitted, to be worn that way), or tucked, no tie, a nice pair of dress shoes (or cowboy boots), and a nice pair of jeans or slacks.

I have no problem with people who want to wear suits, or bonnets, or powdered wigs, or pirate hats. However they want to come to church, is fine with me.

 

[evangelist6589]

If a church judges someone on what they wear to church as if a pair of jeans shows that they are ungodly, there is something wrong. Honestly, as long as things are relatively neat, covered up and the person is there with a heart dressed for the Lord, that's what matters.

In our new church, we tend to dress a bit more casually. My husband will tend to wear a nice pair of slacks, a polo shirt and have a jacket available. I wear what I'd consider "business casual", which is what I think you're thinking of. Last Sunday, I wore a nice pair of dress slacks and a knit top along with heels - something I'd be more than comfortable to wear to an office. I DID dress a little down when my daughter was in the hospital because I'd go straight from church to the hospital and I needed to be prepared to stay overnight but even that was neat and a step up from my everyday clothing.

So I'd say to not worry about the outward appearance. The Bible has a few things to say about that. Most important, go with a heart to worship the Lord and to learn from His Word. A reverent heart is what He wants you dressed in.

So in other words continue to dress the way I have been, but do not g in the direction of one contemporary SBC church in my area where many will show up to church with their t-shirs and shorts on.

 

[evangelist6589]

Don't think your a pharisee. A pharisee would say "You HAVE to wear a suit and tie to church" not "I prefer to wear a suit and tie to church."


I also agree with you that we should honor God with the way we dress. I personally just don't think that's with a suit and tie anymore. "Nice" dress is culturally determined, which is why we don't wear powdered wigs, and 18th century knee length jackets with ruffled shirts anymore.

In my opinion, the current equivalent of wearing a suit to church 50 years ago, would be wearing a nice button up long sleeve shirt, untucked (fitted, to be worn that way), or tucked, no tie, a nice pair of dress shoes (or cowboy boots), and a nice pair of jeans or slacks.

I have no problem with people who want to wear suits, or bonnets, or powdered wigs, or pirate hats. However they want to come to church, is fine with me.

Cowboy attire? I have seen people dress like that in evangelical churches but never in a Fundamentalist church. The cowboys in my area have probably all fled to the evangelical churches.

 

[Havensdad]

Cowboy attire? I have seen people dress like that in evangelical churches but never in a Fundamentalist church. The cowboys in my area have probably all fled to the evangelical churches.

Just boots. When worn with a suit or slacks, they are indistinguishable from dress shoes...

 

[annsni]

So in other words continue to dress the way I have been, but do not g in the direction of one contemporary SBC church in my area where many will show up to church with their t-shirs and shorts on.

Well, it sounds like in your church, that would be the way to go.

But I'd rather have a person in t-shirt and shorts who is there to worship and has a heart towards God than a man in a suit or a woman in a dress who is hard towards Him.

 

[Scarlett O.]

All of us are convicted about the true Biblical standards of some of our beliefs and those convictions are hard-wired in our brains and we stick to them like glue. And all of us are conditioned psychologically due to habits and cultural practices concerning some of our beliefs and that conditioning is hard-wired in our brains and we stick to them like glue.

Sometimes, even in our own selves, we are hard-pressed to distinguish between the convictions of the Holy Spirit and the conditioning from human preferences. Personally, I think it's very important for each of us to sit down with ourselves and the Lord and MAKE those distinctions.

I was "conditioned" for a long, long time. I believed that women were to wear dresses only to church. Why? Because that's what everybody always did. Why did everybody do that in my SBC church? Because that's what everybody did.

What was the justification for it? I heard it ten-thousand million times. "Well, you've got to give your best to the Lord and that includes what you wear to church. The Lord won't accept anything less than your best."

I always wondered what made expensive clothes better than non-expensive clothes other than the price. And I could never figure out what made a dress better than pants. And what made a tie better than no tie?

In the early 1990's, I had been ill and had fainted a few times. I missed a couple of Sundays, was in the hospital a few days, and confined to home a few days. Upon returning to church, I was fearful of wearing a dress and fainting and having someone carry me out horizontally with my dresstail dragging the ground and everyone, from the deacons to the children's choir, knowing my preference in underwear.

So, on Friday, instead of continuing to worry myself even sicker over the dress thing, I decided to wear a nice pair of dress pants and a nice blouse.

I was convinced that I was going to be run-out on a rail. Women in my church didn't wear pants. It wasn't a rule. Just a habit - with a very poor defense. I was scared to death of someone screaming at me or the pastor giving me "the look". I worried myself crazy over this very stupid thing.

And I worried for nothing. No one said a word other than to say that they were so glad that I was better and so glad to have me back in church. The only "look" that the preacher gave me was one of relief that I was back.

Why have we conditioned ourselves to believe that one can only dress "up" for church? And what makes "up" ..... "up"? Why does a skirt outrank a pants suit? And why does a tie trump a cotton shirt? It's branded on our brains and pysches. "The clothes make the man!"

But do they really? I don't think so. I'm convinced more than ever that one can be dressed as fine as frog's hair on Sunday morning and be no more in a spirit of worship or obedience to God than the non-believer out there having Sunday morning coffee at Starbuck's.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I believe that this "dressing to the nines" on Sunday mornings and dressing "down" for the rest of the week is one of the things that has contributed to this false mindset that Sunday is somehow more sacred than any other day of the week and as long as we perform the little pious and formal church routine on Sunday with our silk ties on and our pearls and fancy lace on then we are free to live like we want to the rest of the week. The rest of the week we can skip the Bible reading, the prayer, the fellowship with other beleivers and we can watch things on TV, read things, and do things that we would NEVER do on Sundays.

We have a very poor habit of treating Sunday like a special day with our clothes and our habitual rituals and our behaving more pious than Monday-Saturday. But - it isn't OUR day. It's the Lord's day. And Paul said that "each person should be convinced in his own mind about making one day a week more special than the other."

Are we REALLY honoring God by our Sunday routine? Or, by now, are we only honoring the routine, itself?

 

[abcgrad94]

If you're going to dress up for church, make sure it's the HEART that's prepared. God looks at the heart, not the outward appearance.

Every day belongs to the Lord, whether you're farming, attending a wedding, shooting hoops, or whatever.

 

[menageriekeeper]

What Scarlett said.

EXCEPT,

My frogs don't have hair.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

[preachinjesus]

Just boots. When worn with a suit or slacks, they are indistinguishable from dress shoes...

Anyone showing up in just boots will be asked to wear a robe...just sayin'

 

[preachinjesus]

I am in a Fundamentalist churches and like all IFB churches in my area dress code for men is suit & tie. No official dress code in stone, but thats the way everyone dresses. When I was in a SBC church most did not dress this way and the degree and type of dress varied from SBC church to SBC church. I do not always feel like dressing up for church, so sometimes I do and sometimes I do not. I do not dress down (shirt & shorts, t-shirt, jeans) as when I do not wear a tie and suit, I will dress like I was working in a office environment whatever the name for that style of dress. Do you think this is a good idea, or will I get nonverbally judged (as in ignored, not taken seriously, kept at a distance)? This may be one of those issues that is a given and common sense for a Fundamentalist environment.

We don't have a dress code for people showing up at our church. On any given Sunday at this time of the year you'll see a host of people wearing outfits that range from suits, dresses, jeans and tshirts, slacks and button down shirt, to shorts and tanktops. It provides a welcoming atmosphere that is key to our reaching people far from Jesus.

Our staff is asked to dress professionally and I generally wear a pair of slacks and a button down shirt.

We honestly don't care what people wear on Sundays, or throughout the week.

Having grown in up in a quasi-fundamentalist church where men wore suits and ties and women wore dresses as a standard of appearance I understand that desire. If your church is there, great.

 

[Havensdad]

The only thing I am going to say, is that if the guys are required to wear a suit, we should also get to control the air conditioner setting! If you get cold easy, put on more clothes, or bring a blanket! Don't tell us we have to wear suits, then complain about how cold it is with the a.c. set on 75...

 

[MamaCW]

Don't think your a pharisee. A pharisee would say "You HAVE to wear a suit and tie to church" not "I prefer to wear a suit and tie to church."


I also agree with you that we should honor God with the way we dress. I personally just don't think that's with a suit and tie anymore. "Nice" dress is culturally determined, which is why we don't wear powdered wigs, and 18th century knee length jackets with ruffled shirts anymore.

In my opinion, the current equivalent of wearing a suit to church 50 years ago, would be wearing a nice button up long sleeve shirt, untucked (fitted, to be worn that way), or tucked, no tie, a nice pair of dress shoes (or cowboy boots), and a nice pair of jeans or slacks.

I have no problem with people who want to wear suits, or bonnets, or powdered wigs, or pirate hats. However they want to come to church, is fine with me.

Now I don't know about you..but where I come from (just wanted to use that phrase lol)...people will go in a suit and tie ..or at least a night button down shirt and nice dress slacks...for a job interview...EVEN a Jack in the box job interview (yes seen it plenty of times..that was my first job !!)..but they wont dress up for church..they'll dress up for a very nice wedding..but they wont dress up for church..if they are going to go to a very expensive restaurant..they'll dress up to look the part..but they wont for church... I think like someone already said..you should look your best for church just like you would at a job interview...but make sure you aren't just doing it to look the part... my hubby wears suit and tie now..but he used to come in jeans and a nice button up shirt..he did so comfortably for a long time..when he made the decision to start dressing with slacks n collared shirt/tie..it was because of his own personal decision...he didnt start wearing a jacket though until we joined choir.. my church doesnt have a "dress code" for attendees.. I see many people (and long time members too) come in with jeans...i've even seen some homeless people come in sometimes and they were NOT dressed up....now those working in one of the ministries do have a dress code..but then again so do regular jobs and volunteer organizations...

If you're going to dress up for church, make sure it's the HEART that's prepared. God looks at the heart, not the outward appearance.

Every day belongs to the Lord, whether you're farming, attending a wedding, shooting hoops, or whatever.

I agree 100%

 

[Scarlett O.]

Now I don't know about you..but where I come from (just wanted to use that phrase lol)...people will go in a suit and tie ..or at least a night button down shirt and nice dress slacks...for a job interview...EVEN a Jack in the box job interview (yes seen it plenty of times..that was my first job !!)..but they wont dress up for church..they'll dress up for a very nice wedding..but they wont dress up for church..if they are going to go to a very expensive restaurant..they'll dress up to look the part..but they wont for church... I think like someone already said..you should look your best for church just like you would at a job interview

On a job interview, people are trying to impress someone into thinking that they are more than they really are. Dressing up for a fancy dinner is the same mindset - if it's a fancy and expensive dinner, we want to dress the part - making us feel good and feel expensive and therefore feel worthy.

Some people dress up all the time for their own self-respect. They feel better all dressed up. And some people are taken more seriously when they are all dressed up - only because we are conditioned to believe that the man with the suit and tie and the woman with the pearls and heels and dress possess more clout.

Who are we trying to impress at church? If it's the Lord, if our hearts are focused solely on bringing honor to His Name, then He isn't really interested in our mode of dress - as long as both men and women are properly clothed, decently clothed, and focused on being clothed in righteousness, He is pleased.

We don't have to impress God like we impress other people. And I think we spend far too much time trying to impress others and fool ourselves into thinking we are all that and a bag of chips.

 

[Gina B]

I usually feel stupid dressing up for church. I can't fool God, and I'm quite positive He knows I'm not that type of person.
I don't have anything in my closet I wouldn't wear to church anyhow so whatever I wear outside of church is also appropriate.
Usually that's a skirt and top or pants and a decent top. Not quite the t-shirt type or jeans type, although I did wear jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers to my wedding, but that was when I moved out of Alaska and had jeans because you really don't wear skirts out there if you don't want to die in the winter or get eaten alive in the summer.
Never had liked shorts, and most skirts are as long as my pants. Except one. Was bought because I wanted this one pair of shoes and it went with the shoes. Yeah, I'm deep like that. And stuff. :saint:

So church dress code? For women, keep the twins under cover and nobody has pretty kneecaps so cover those too. For men, some of you can easily be mistaken for women from behind so enough with the tight jeans and form fitting pants that let everyone see what your mamma gave you when you get on your knees at the altar and bend over with your bum stuck out. That about covers it! It's pretty much what the Bible says...be modest. Although it doesn't say kneecaps aren't modest but admit it...when did you ever see a kneecap that was worth showing off?

 

[Dr. Bob]

I wore shorts and a polo shirt to Baptist church last week. I do not care what others wear as long as it is biblical (modest, honoring - not a t-shirt with beer slogan, bikini, etc)

Since I will be attending a small-town church this week where the "de facto dress code" is very real, I will wear dockers and a banded collar button-up shirt. A little more "dressy" but what is the "norm" there, compared to the other church.

I greatly sympathize with the op, feeling like he is judged by those demnading an artificial, modern, man-made code of "appropriate" church attire. Sad to bring our cultural baggage and impose it on children of God who simply want to worship.

In our home church I will admit I have worn a tie on 5-6 occasions (in five years). And used a sport coat on cool mornings instead of a jacket. But always took it off and hung it up during the service. Unwritten legalism in dress is evil and destructive to the body imho.