1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Elephant Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by baptistteacher, Apr 24, 2010.

Top Posters
Page 1 of 2
  1. baptistteacher

    baptistteacher Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    844
    Likes Received:
    6
    Some of my favorite jokes have always been Elephant Jokes.

    How can you tell when an elephant is under your bed?

    Your nose is squashed against the ceiling.
     
    #1 baptistteacher, Apr 24, 2010
  2. baptistteacher

    baptistteacher Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    844
    Likes Received:
    6
    How do you get down off an elephant?

    You don't, you get down off of a goose.

    How does an elephant get down from a tree?
    He doesn’t! Even elephants know you get down from a goose!

    Oh, all right. How do elephants get out of trees?
    They float down on the leaves between 4pm and 6pm.
     
    #2 baptistteacher, Apr 24, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2010
  3. baptistteacher

    baptistteacher Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    844
    Likes Received:
    6
    Who is the most famous male singing elephant?
    Harry Elephante.
    ---
    Who is the most famous female singing elephant?
    Elephants Gerald.
     
    #3 baptistteacher, Apr 24, 2010
  4. baptistteacher

    baptistteacher Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    844
    Likes Received:
    6
    Q: How is an elephant like an apricot?
    A: They are both gray. Well, except the apricot.

    Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in the refrigerator?
    A: The door won’t shut.

    Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in the refrigerator earlier?
    A: Footprints in the butter.

    Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge in the first place?
    A: Open door; Insert elephant; Close door.

    Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
    A: Open door; Remove elephant; Insert giraffe; Close door.

    Q: What’s the difference between a dozen eggs and an elephant?
    A: If you don’t know, I’m sure not going to send you to the store for a dozen eggs!

    Q: What the difference between a herd of elephants and a bunch of grapes?
    A: Grapes are purple, elephants are gray.
     
    #4 baptistteacher, Apr 24, 2010
  5. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2009
    Messages:
    20,518
    Likes Received:
    3,047
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Why did the elephant paint it's toenails red, yellow, and green?

    So it could hide in a pack of M & Ms.
     
    #5 kyredneck, Apr 27, 2010
  6. baptistteacher

    baptistteacher Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    844
    Likes Received:
    6
    Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

    So he could hide in a cherry tree.

    Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? >> Works pretty good, doesn't it?     ]

    [You can substitute "strawberry patch" for "cherry tree".
     
    #6 baptistteacher, May 8, 2010
  7. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
    Moderator

    Joined:
    May 22, 2002
    Messages:
    11,539
    Likes Received:
    1,010
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Why didn't anyone ask the elephant to dance at the prom?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Because he isn't very light on his feet!! [​IMG]
     
    #7 Scarlett O., May 8, 2010
  8. Cutter

    Cutter New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Some of these elephant jokes are stupid and don't make much sense. :sleeping_2:
     
    #8 Cutter, May 8, 2010
  9. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2007
    Messages:
    2,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Actually, they don't make ANY sense. Maybe I just lack a sense of humor. I also don't find any of the "humor" on TV funny either. We've lost the old-time great comedians--my favorite being Red Skelton.
     
    #9 Jon-Marc, May 8, 2010
  10. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    38,981
    Likes Received:
    2,616
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Uh, Cutter, you forgot the punch line. :type:
     
    #10 Salty, May 8, 2010
  11. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
    Moderator

    Joined:
    May 22, 2002
    Messages:
    11,539
    Likes Received:
    1,010
    Faith:
    Baptist
    An elephant joke isn't supposed to make sense nor actually be all that funny. That's what an elephant joke is.
     
    #11 Scarlett O., May 8, 2010
  12. Gwen

    Gwen Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2004
    Messages:
    4,107
    Likes Received:
    5
    I thought this was going to be a joke thread about Republicans. Haha.
     
    #12 Gwen, May 8, 2010
  13. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    38,981
    Likes Received:
    2,616
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Are you saying that Republicans do not remember their campaign promises?
     
    #13 Salty, May 9, 2010
  14. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2007
    Messages:
    2,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    I guess I'm misunderstanding what a joke is. I thought a joke was supposed to be funny. My mistake. :BangHead:
     
    #14 Jon-Marc, May 9, 2010
  15. ccrobinson

    ccrobinson Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2005
    Messages:
    4,459
    Likes Received:
    1
    I've got a nickel's worth of free advice to you people who come and post this sort of nonsense. If you don't like the topic, don't post. How hard is it not to post?

    This is the same kind of nonsense I see in the sports threads. For example, in Nascar threads, people will come and post about how much they hate Nascar or think it's stupid or some other such nonsense. If you don't like something like Nascar, or elephant jokes, why are you trying to bring everybody else down with silly posts like "This is so stupid"?

    Besides, elephant jokes are stupid only to people who have no sense of humor.

    Sorry for derailing a thread further, but it's very annoying to see this sort of nonsense.
     
    #15 ccrobinson, May 9, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 9, 2010
  16. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    38,981
    Likes Received:
    2,616
    Faith:
    Baptist
    It is even harder than an elephant trying to find the fifth wheel on a M-151 - (aka jeep)
     
    #16 Salty, May 9, 2010
  17. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    10

    I thought they were hilarious and made a lot of sense.

    There were two elephants sliding down a slide. The first one said Whee, I am an elephant. The second one said, Whee, I am a typewriter.
     
    #17 SaggyWoman, May 9, 2010
  18. Cutter

    Cutter New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    You would. :laugh:
     
    #18 Cutter, May 9, 2010
  19. Cutter

    Cutter New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    I understand why you say that your advice is only worth a nickel. :rolleyes:
     
    #19 Cutter, May 9, 2010
  20. baptistteacher

    baptistteacher Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    844
    Likes Received:
    6
    OK, back to business.

    Q: Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkled?

    A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirins.


    Q: Why did the elephant wear dark sunglasses?

    A: So he wouldn't be recognized.


    Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephant came up over the hill?

    A: Nothing. He didn't recognize the elephant because he was wearing dark sunglasses.
     
    #20 baptistteacher, Jun 5, 2010
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 2
Loading...