For all the golfers out there

Here are some witty sayings about the game of golf.


May thy ball lie in green pastures -- and not in still waters.

~Author Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
~Billy Graham

Golf appeals to the idiot and the child in us. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

~John Updike

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
~Robert Lynd
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
~Horace G. Hutchinson

They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.

~Gardner Dickinson


If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
~Sam Snead


Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
~William Wordsworth


If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
-Dean Martin


If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
~Tommy Bolt

Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one.
~Author Unknown

I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.
~Author Unknown

My handicap? Woods and irons.
~Chris Codiroli

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top.
~Pete Dye

I'm hitting the woods just great -- but having a terrible time getting out of them!
~Author Unknown

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~Jack Lemmon

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
~Mark Twain


Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
~Harry Vardon

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
~George Deukmejian

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
~Author Unknown

If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.
~Author Unknown

AMEN