funny quotes from church

thats really funny

 

Hmm...On studying the Ressurection, my Sunday School teacher was paraphrasing Jesus's defeat of death and said "He was like "I'll beat you like a limp duck boy!" Our group howled with laughter. That quickly became a catch phrase in our group.

And once, when the pastor's wife was filling in as the secretary until we could hire a new one, the pastor said "If you hear the rumor, it's true. I AM sleeping with my secretary." We thought she was going to deck him! She turned beet red. His face wasn't much lighter.

 

Little Adison wanted to tell her mother about our Sunday School lesson about the spies and the promised land. 'We learned all about The Land of Milk and Restaurants!'

 

What about the little girl who was singing "Victory in Jesus" and sang "He punched me to Victory..."

Hmm..wonder if God got a good laugh out of that one.

 

I always sang 'Bringing in the Sheets'. LOL

I'm so glad God gave us a sense of humor.

 

You all know the song "Do Lord". When we go on youth trips my youth minister sings: Pine Grove, O Pine Grove. Do you have a room ? Pine Grove, o Pine Grove o do you have a room? Pine Grove o Pine Grove do you have a room? Save a room for me!!!(Pine Grove is a nut house about 20-30 mins from out town.)

 

And if yall knew how crazy these kids make me - you'd wanna go to Pine Grove too!!

 

One time my friend Brad was preaching and it was at VBS, and I was the leader of the third and fourth grade children, and he was teaching the story of Moses, but in stead of Moses he kept saying Noah for a while, and all the kids were laughing at him and he couldn't figure out why, and he all of a sudden started coughing because he was embarrassed he couldn't figure out why they were laughing, and he said "Kayla, come hither, (wispering) Why are your kids laughing?" I said "Because, Mr. Know it all, you keep saying Noah instead of Moses!" Then he blushed, and told me, "sit down, woman." (Don't worry the woman thing happens all the time.) The funny thing is the kids didn't even remember about the Noah/Moses thing, they remembered "Kayla, come hither." and teased him about it the rest of the week. Then at the end of the week they voted for Brad to get pied and for me to do the pieing. And Sunday Night when it came time to pie him, I said, "Oh Preacher Boy, Come Hither!" And all the kids laughed!

 

Tatertot you know you love us! That is why you are always taking us places! Besides we are not that bad are we?? We are perfect angels!!!!!!

 

Just think tatermom I will be singing that same song one day.

What about the muffins? lol

 

Muffins!!!! How could I forget muffins??? That was so funny!!! I am laughing right now!!! LOL

 

I know right Where are you at?

 

ah, the muffin story will live on forever!!!! Which one of you wants to explain?? Hmmm???

 

Not me I think you should

 

We sing a song called "Rescue The Perishing" at church, and when I was like four we have me on video at church singing "Rescue The Parashoot."
One of my best friends who happens to teach my Sunday school class loves making jokes about me...particularly in front of people. One week he said something about "Gullable being written on the ceiling", and well, I'm not the brightest I don't suppose, so I look up! To which he, and everyone else burst into laughter. To make things worse I asked "Were on the ceiling?" Now all he has to do is say "gullable", and I crack up.
Also my pastor has a long running joke on me. One Sunday morning I said "See you tonight Preacher!" He said "Thanks for the warning." I said "Now preacher! Don't you realize you have to spend eternity with me?" He said "Abby, Heaven is perfect! You think you're going?" (he was only kidding!) I said "Of course! I'm gonna have a mansion right beside you!" and he said "Oh, no you're not! I don't think God would do that to me! You'll be on one end of Heaven and I'll live on the other!"
Well I leave little notes in his study alllllll the time, and usualy sign them with "In my father's house are many mansions...and I hope your's is next to mine!"
Soooooooo, he decided to make a sermon illistation out of me, and retold the whole thing to the church!
Oh, the stories I could tell about me, and about many others. (now don't ya'll start groaning! I promise, I'm finished with this post!)

 

Yes, he often tells me "God isn't in that Abby!" and I usualy reply (jokingly of course,because I really don't mean it!) that "Preachers! They always think they're right!"
Once when he was picking at me in front of some preachers and I said "Preacher, are all Men of God crazy?" and he said "Only if they have a church member like you, Abby!"
We're only picking at each other. He's like a grandpa to me, and I know he does love me even though we're always picking at one another!

 

TaterMom YOU are explaining that one!!!

 

you brought it up