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Grandparents raising Grandchildren

Discussion in 'Women's Fellowship Forum' started by Thankful, Jul 13, 2008.

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  1. Thankful

    Thankful <img src=/BettyE.gif>

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    Are there any other grandparents on the BB who are raising their grandchildren, temporarily or permanently?

    We have had a 16 year old grandson and an 11 year old granddaughter with us for two years.

    It is a joy, privilege, and gift given to us, but after many years of no children in the household, it has certainly been a challenge and many times we need HELP.

    It is very different from raising one's own children. The old values and spiritual lessons are the same, but I have had to learn new meanings of old words, new words, new customs, ways of dress. Times have really changed.

    If you are out there, would you care to share?
     
    #1 Thankful, Jul 13, 2008
  2. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

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    We raised Brent for four years, from age 10 to 14, and were prepared to raise him through high school.

    He is in Missouri now, living with his mother and new step-father, 2 step-brothers, and a step-sister. They are all in church and as much as he loved staying with me, he loves his mother and his new family too and needs them.

    It was a challenge at first, having him here, especially since I home schooled him for the first 1½ years. He was a blessing to us while he was here and he still comes up and stays with us one week-end a month.

    I had no private or quiet time while he was here and didn't realize how much I had missed that until he moved away! Dale and I had no time together either.

    My house stays much cleaner now and the food bill has decreased immensely! I have less wash to do and I'm no longer a taxi driver. Our finances are much better now without school tuition, dentist, and doctor bills.

    It was very hard when he first left, but it was a mixed blessing when he was here and it is a mixed blessing having him gone.

    I think it's time for us to just be 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa' again. That way, his mom can make the rules and we can just spoil him... :)
     
    #2 I Am Blessed 24, Jul 14, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 14, 2008
  3. following-Him

    following-Him Active Member

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    We have had our eldest grandson living with us for almost 3 months now. The courts make a decision on his future tomorrow.
     
    #3 following-Him, Jul 14, 2008
  4. donnA

    donnA Active Member

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    I don't know how you ladies do it, I just wouldn't have the strength day after day. Must be a strength from God.
    I hope I never have to raise my grandchildren, because then I wouldn't be able to be fun mamaw anymore, I'd be enforcing rules.
     
    #4 donnA, Jul 14, 2008
  5. following-Him

    following-Him Active Member

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    Donna, I have to admit it is hard. Our grandson hasn't been brought up in the church, but he comes with us to church each Sunday and attends SS, which he seems to enjoy. He doesn't seem to be interested in taking it any further tho'.

    We are trying to broaden his horizons a bit while he is with us. We take him out and about and he has met a lot of our friends and their children. We don't like his choice of books (Darren Shan?) but we don't know what else to recommend and he doesn't want to know about the good old fashioned classics.

    Just getting him into a routine and away from the television and game boy has been a challenge.

    A work in progress.

    Blessings

    following-Him
     
    #5 following-Him, Jul 14, 2008
  6. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

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    Yep! That's one of the hardest parts!
     
    #6 I Am Blessed 24, Jul 14, 2008
  7. Thankful

    Thankful <img src=/BettyE.gif>

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    ( I just typed a long post and it disappeared, I think. I can't find it anywhere)

    Yes, this is a very difficult part for me and for the grandchildren. Even after two years, they continue to think I should treat them like grandchildren and not my children.

    FollowingHim, How old is your grandson? Please let us know how things go with the court.

    DonnA, it does take a lot of strength even when children are old enough to care for themselves. I sometimes take two naps a day so I can be taxi driver, cook, maid,activity director, music teacher, art teacher, sewing and cooking instructor, etc. etc. They go to public school, but I try to teach them as much as I can.

    There is never a dull moment. Saturday, we spent all day at a horse show. Sissy won first place in a class with 17 contestants, and two sixth place ribbons. Her horse did not want to jump. He just beautifully glided across the bars. I am learning a lot about horses.

    Brother has been to the ER twice in a week. This morning he passed out at Football practice. He was just stretching. They didn't find anything wrong so more tests and doctor visits.

    Maybe if we all put our heads together along with suggestions from the young mothers, we will survive this chapter in our lives. These children are a blessing and my current purpose in life, but I need help.
     
    #7 Thankful, Jul 14, 2008
  8. PJ

    PJ Active Member
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    I don't have grandchildren just yet, but wonder if you ladies know how special you are for doing this. Though there are various (mostly adverse) reasons for children living with their grandparents, these same children seem more self confident, better adjusted in later life having spent time with their grandparents.

    All children could draw from the wisdom of the more mature if they spent more time with them. And grandparents generally have more time to devote than parents.

    I wasn't raised by my grandparents but both my grandmothers lived with us (because both of my grandfathers were deceased by the time I was born). I feel privileged that they were able to live with us. :wavey:
     
    #8 PJ, Jul 24, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 24, 2008
  9. following-Him

    following-Him Active Member

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    I am so sorry I haven't repied sooner. Things have been somewhat chaotic here.

    The court hearing went very well and our grandson will go to live with his aunt next week. This will give us a few days rest before my husband starts his treatment.

    Our grandson is so excited about going to live with his cousins and we have been out this morning buying new school uniform for him.

    I don't have too much time to browse the posts at the moment. Rob is getting very tired with all the travellng. We are just so pleased that our grandson can look forward to a really good summer break.

    Blessings

    following-Him
     
    #9 following-Him, Jul 24, 2008
  10. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

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    Praise the Lord for answered prayer! :godisgood:

    Praying for you, Rob, and the doctors! :praying:
     
    #10 I Am Blessed 24, Jul 24, 2008
  11. PJ

    PJ Active Member
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    Hope your grandson has a great summer. :)

    I'm not clear on your husband's health but am praying for him now ...
     
    #11 PJ, Jul 24, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 24, 2008
  12. following-Him

    following-Him Active Member

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    PJ, I am sure grandson will have a great summer.

    My husband's brain tumour has come back and this time it is pressing on his brain stem. He is soon to start a 6 week course of radiotactic surgery, which is a form of radiotherapy. I may not be around to post for a while.

    Blessings

    following-Him
     
    #12 following-Him, Jul 24, 2008
  13. PJ

    PJ Active Member
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    I'm sorry to hear this, following-Him. I'm adding him to my prayer list. You and your family as well. :1_grouphug:
     
    #13 PJ, Jul 24, 2008
  14. Thankful

    Thankful <img src=/BettyE.gif>

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    FollowingHim, glad to hear about your grandson and praying for your husband.

    PJ, thank you for your kind words and encouragement.

    There is an article in the July 2008 issue of Charles Stanley's In Touch magazine about When Your Kid's Kids Come Over to Stay. This article by Pamela McMillian refers to having grandchildren as a blessing, not a burden.

    One Comment referred to is "Raising your grandchildren will keep you young." May be and may be not. I really think that it sometimes makes me feel older, especially when the mothers of their friends could be my daughter, but I have met some wonderful young women this way.

    I totally agree that having these children are a blessing and a chance to continue to do God's Will.

    A few years ago, I really thought my usefulness was over, but God had other plans for me. I met and married my wonderful Christian husband and a few years later, two grandchildren came to live with us. What a blessing and a challenge. Another opportunity to be useful and serve our Lord.

    There have been many times when I thought, I just can't do this, but then I remember to pray and turn any problems that we have over to our Lord. It is amazing how God works His Plan.

    At first we thought they would only live with us for 14 months, but it has been nearly 2 and 1/2 years and they will probably be here another year or longer.

    Sissy is 11 and I feel I may have enough years left to see her grown if that is God's Will.

    Praying for all parents, grandparents and children. Children are our special gift from God.
     
    #14 Thankful, Jul 24, 2008
  15. PJ

    PJ Active Member
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    Amen, and kudos, Thankful!
     
    #15 PJ, Jul 25, 2008
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