Headship and Authority

Thanks,HCL for your scripture and words.

I just listened this morning to Doug Phillips audio on the "Blessed Marriage"...how we have failed early on in our marriage...we lacked vision for God's ways,we entered marriage with selfishness and pride...now our hearts are being changed. As we study more and more,we see God's blessed picture of what marriage is to be and I want to follow in that...It is truly sweet to be seeking after God's ways instead of mine own. Thankfully,my husband is seeking the Lord and desires to lead our family to be more Christ-like in everything we do. I want to be submissive,honoring my husband above all,and teaching my girls that praying for a godly husband is the most important thing you can do.

I will post more on this later,we are off for a thanksgiving feast at my parents home across town.

Molly

www.visionforum.com

[ November 28, 2002, 11:03 PM: Message edited by: Molly ]

 

The way to marital bliss is summed up in the learning of two words........"Yes, dear!"

My dear wife remains my partner in life and will never, ever become my chattel. We both know who the Lord is, and we know who each other is. The is no need to lord over. In fact, as time goes along, we find our minds as one in most things; the rest doesn't seem important.

We always made decisions as a family and the children had their say as well. Our money was a family affair...it was never my dollar or her dollar,,it was ours to use.

Do I take a leadership role? Indeed I do and my family respects that. Isn't this what it means in scripture? I believe the bible also says we are to love the husband,,,,,it also says to love the wife,,,,,,and children likewise. Respect begets respect, and honour , honour. I believe I am very biblical in this.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Amen, Jim. My husband is a lot like you, I think, and no one appreciates it more than me!

God bless you both.

 

Has anybody found a verse that say this?

"Men, Lord it over your wives
and make sure they kowtow unto you."

If so, i need it yesterday

 

As my pastor teaches in sunday school . . . the husband is a servant-leader.

Julia

 

Amen, Sister Julie -- Preach it!

My pastor preaches that from time to time.
After enough years maybe i can learn to do
it right.

BTW, i'm THANKFUL for my DW= dear wife
THANKFUL
on this THANKSgiving day. She does submission
just right. This makes it easier for me
to be a servant-leader in my family.

 

While I've never called my husband of nearly 40yrs. "lord", I have used "sir". Has he always been the perfect provider? Have I always been the perfect wife? Are you kidding???

Even as a young wife, and not having been taught anything about Biblical submission, I knew there was something to it. I haven't read any of those books, but my fellowship & obedience with the Lord has always come first & submission to my husband next.

There was a time when he said I had to forsake my keepersathome position & work in the public...this turned into a disaster, which he soon realized & was able to return to my Godly calling. Even when he abandoned us(twice), I still worked at home & prayed for him.

I've laid out his clothes, packed his lunch, fixed his plate first, thought of his needs in all things...He's always had clean clothes, shined shoes, a neat haircut, bubblebaths, favorite pie, etc.

I've asked his approval for everything I've done, including being on here. I don't feel degraded or like a slave & it is pure joy & real freedom to die to one's self.

I love him more today than ever before & will 'til the day I die. I have lived my life the way I believe God would have me to & my only desire has been to please Him, my husband & my children.

 

Thank you, husband Ed

As I have said before, if ones husband takes his rightful role in the family, then it is easy for the wife to support him and assume her role.

We try to always place God first.

 

The way to marital bliss is summed up in the learning of two words........"Yes, dear!"

BWA HA HAAA!!!! How incredibly true. Every man should learn those words!!!

Now if anyone could explain to me why I'm not married????

 

Actually, HCL, probably it is only God who knows the answer to that question...

 

The answer to submission is found in these verses, then notice the husbands RESPONSIBILITY:


Ephesians 5:

21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 5:26 (KJV)
26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Ephesians 5:27 (KJV)
27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Ephesians 5:28 (KJV)
28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Ephesians 5:29 (KJV)
29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Ephesians 5:30 (KJV)
30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Ephesians 5:31 (KJV)
31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

 

I submit to my husband on purpose, intentionally. He is a difficult husband. I am a head-strong, ornery wife. I submit anyway. It isn't always easy. Actually, the challenge of it, makes it more fun. Anyone can submit to an easy, loveing, fair, gentle spirited husband. It takes a woman in love with the Lord to submit to a difficult husband.

A difficult husband is a gift straight from God. Fred (my DH) has taught me more about my own faults and my own shortcomings that an easier husband would have. Fred has given me the opportunity to get real honest about myself with God and with him. Each weakness that Fred's difficultness has helped me uncover has been the direct path to uncovering the strength which the Lord has placed underneath it.

I submit to my husband. Even when he expects things that I "know" are ridiculous. I do it as a matter of faith. When I do what he says, it makes him have no choice but to take responsibility for his own actions, and actually improves his leadership skills in the long run. As long as I am disobeying him, or doing things my own way, instead of his, he can point to me and blame me for whatever is going wrong. When I am doing all that he asks though, he has no choice but to come face to face with his own decisions, the good the bad and the "Oh, My Land, I can't believe I did that!"

The best way to change a difficult husband is to let him have his way and submit to him with the spirit of the Lord. You may not be able to trust the difficult husband to do what is right, but you can always trust God working inside of the difficult husband. And even the most difficult husband can't do a darned thing to change that.

 

Way to go, Maggie! That is hard. And to be grateful for him is really a sign of the Holy Spirit working in you! My DH left me after twenty years, about 18 of which were being shared with other women I didn't know about! I was NEVER going to be married again, but nine years later did get married to a man who puts Christ first and me second and I have never felt so spoiled in my life! One thing for sure, I will NEVER take him for granted!

And yet, without a previous DH, I know I would not appreciate Barry so much now. I'm glad you are seeing the blessings at the moment. Sometimes I could, but many times I was simply in tears and could not see it at all.

God bless you and give you the compassion and wisdom and love and endurance this requires of you.

 

Thank you Helen. I'm glad you were able to find peace with your second husband. Leaving Fred has never been an option for me. I love him. Plain and Simple. I can't imagine life any other way. It's not always easy, but it is always rewarding, and it strengthens my walk with the Lord, so how could it be anything but a blessing?

I think it was Paul who mentioned he had a thorn:

II Corinthians 12:7:
And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

Having a difficult husband is like that. It keeps you humble and walking on the straight and narrow path.

 

Amen, I needed that