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it was a very bad feeling saying it, bacause I didn't really want to say it. But back then I was put on tryals by the Devil, he fooled me and I tought it was from the Holy Spirit...all the bad things that happened to me trough that period of time. To get free from all the suffering that I had, I blasphemed him. But before that I warned him a few times that I would. But of course it wasn't him, but that fact I realized just later, and I'm very sorry that I insulted him. In fact I loved him in some way. He did to me nothing wrong ever
Thank you for your reply. In my life I'm at the point again where I would devote myself to him. But when I focus on repentance(separately on every sin) I feel cleansed, but when I focus on that one I feel a blockage-like thing what doesn't allow me to repent. If that blockage wouldn't be there I would repent, because I feel sorry.
Since I committed that sin I feel that God does not answer my prayers, and altrough I'm a vessel of the Holy Spirit he is not in(or with) me anymore.