"I feel like quitting when...."

I feel like quitting when my deacon holds a Super Bowl party during the evening service and doesn't invite me (I'm at church). Go Bears!

 

I get discouraged when people who have nothing to say, add, or contribute theologically or spiritually through their God-given gifts, still seem to have plenty to say during business meetings - when they are at their strongest. And normally what they say tears down. (Basically, I don't enjoy business meeting!)

But I can't say I've felt like quitting...I have felt like crying at times...like a big baby, thinking "why doesn't "sister so-and-so" get it?"

 

The other viewpoint on this - sorry aint a pastor yet - Im still a dodging God on that one - dont wanna be one of you - and short of God killing me not much is going to get me there into a place where I see so much abuse done because I am a pastor you must respect "Muh AUTHORITAH!"

Basically from the other side - a lot of what my pastors did - was never communicated - a lot of deals were done before time that should have been brought to the congregation - but were covered up or gone ahead with - and thus we are told - oops sorry we've already started we really cant go back now!

For some of us the business meeting is the only place where we can legitimately air our concerns without being called names - and treated like filth. So Lord help me I look forward to a business meeting because its the best indicator of church viewpoint and health there is.

Because Lord help me - if your church is running a deficit and you personally know that several people in authority *cough* pastors lied over finances - (cause you helped do them finances until they let you go due to personality constraints) - but you signed a contract stating that you cant tell what you found out - it tends to drive one up the wall.

 

Consider: God has expended a lot of time and effort to prepare a pastor for ministry. The rest of the church has not had that much attention so aren't as perfect as they might be. When getting frustrated with the masses, be sure to look through God's eyes to their maturity and depth.

Consider also: God has taken that special time to prepare some of His saints so be sure you know which ones to listen to, they might have something to say that is of value.

Sularis: Don't let what you've seen in churches allow you to sidestep what God might have for you to do. There are many pastors that operate above board, I'd suggest you look around to other groups, sounds like you are in the wrong one

If He is calling, answer and be a different type of pastor

 

Well said - if God has extended His grace to us, we should surely extend grace to people around us.

A point I'd like to make is this: as a pastor, I'm almost never "frustrated with the masses." It's normally only one or two individuals. But you're right, we must give sincere love attention to them anyway, as God has given us.

 

I feel like quittin' when church members who don't do anything try to tell me how to everything.

 

I feel like quitting when I get a guy like Sularis in my church.

A person who doesn't like to follow but doesn't want to pay the price to lead.

There is a saying:

Get as many as you can on the bus. Get them in the right seat on the bus. And get some of them off the bus.

Some pastors miss the point of getting some people off the bus and everyone pays for that mistake. So when a certain person is causing me to feel like quitting. I make a quick analysis of the person and the situation. And sometimes, the person just plain needs to find another church. And I don't feel guilty telling them.

 

Those people you write about do know how to do everything, but work.

It is not just in the church. It is everywhere. Should it surprise us that we have rebellious children when their parents bad mouth authority.

It truly amazes me how many parents think they can teach their own children better than the schools can. I wonder how many teach their children to write a scholarly paper according to MLA, APA or Turabian format? I learned that in my junior year of high school.

 

In one church I pastored I asked two men to step down as deacons because of lying to a parent over a serious issue. They wouldn't and the rest of the whimps on the deacon board would not follow through even though they knew those men were liars.

It is because of gripers like you that most men quit pastoring. Only about one out of five stay. I quit because I realized that I could disciple more men without gripers taking up a lot of my time and causing me stress. I actually discipled more men when I was not pastoring than when I did.

I have met many complainers like you until put to the test. I rememeber well the last time I had a griper visit the church I was pastoring. He was telling me about how so many churches are lazy and don't study the Bible. So I invited him to a study I was leading that week. It was on Isaiah. The people were to have done the lesson which meant they would have studied about 7 hours plus read the book of Isaiah that week. The man showed up once and we never saw him again. I think he finally found a group of people that were serious and his griping woiuld have to be put to rest. Probably that would have been too much for him.

Certainly don't ever consider pastoring if you are not discipling others now. It won't get any easier when you have to deal with problems in the church. When you start pastoring your number of contacts will be reduced by about half. So if you are not winning people to Christ now you won't when you become a pastor. You have about twice as many contacts now as you would as a pastor. People who know you are a pastor will avoid you. But now they will not.

When I was not pastoring and prepared to start a church I had a business I worked at about 11 hours each day. Then on the week end I would knock on doors every Saturday to meet people.

The command Jesus gave in Mt. 28:19,20 is not dependent upon a pastor or anyone else but you and your obedience. Whether you are a pastor or not you have no excuse for not making disciples.

Instead of spending your time griping about pastors tell us how many have you discipled who are living for Jesus Christ because of your life. Tell us how often you knock on doors.

 

.... people in the church tell you how much they love you and support you to your face, but behind your back they are attempting to manipulate things and people into their control.

Thankfully I have not had to deal with that at my current church, but my last church was terrible for this type of thing. And then they wonder why only one pastor in 126 years has stayed longer than 5 years.

 

Ok just one last public post - then I'll go to PM's and pretty much stay out of ya'll pastoralish hairs.

1) I realized it was directed at pastors - this being a pastor's thread after all - and the surprising fact that despite my horrible sentence construction - I can read (and write)!! I felt that perhaps a non-pastoral viewpoint might've been in order. Obviously I was wrong

2) Thanx gb9.... and HappyG - I didnt need any more confirmation of my current low opinion of the entire pastoral species - but ya'll kicked in just fine.

To address why I feel ya'll helped confirm my low opinion of the pastoral trade.

I help out - A lot - not as much as the retired guy - but hey you pay my bills and food - and I'll be in the church helping pretty much 12/6 - I dont like to miss my Saturday cartoons Sleep and travel time take up the other 12 hours.

Neither of you two know me - and yet you both slammed me - and called me a griper - sexual misconduct by a deacon oh thats fine - I'll just ignore that - Fraud and misappropriation of church funds - I can ignore that too if you want. Of course lets not forget the oh we cant have an evening service or Sunday School because thats too much work - and besides who really needs to study the Bible anyways - its just a good historical book. We all KNOW that experience is the true measure of a Christian walk. IF you need help ASK!!! *gasp* some of us pew-warmers are aching to do something if we're allowed to.

If you had me in your church GB9 you would have had my full support in kicking the lying deacons outta there. Especially at a business meeting - or wait did you try and keep it with the deacon's board where I couldn't have helped you?

 

Sularis,

It is obvious you are very upset about what is going on at your church. I can't help wondering why you remain at the church you have spoken of. If there is sexual misconduct, financial improprieties, dishonesty between the staff and the congregation, failure to encourage bible study, failure to allow congregants to serve - why do you continue in that church? Why don't you look for a church of God that acts in a Godly manner?

 

There is a simple adage about resignation. When you feel like resigning, complete a letter of resignation in the evening. If you still feel the same way in the morning, hand it in.

Often we lose the feeling overnight. I would find that a challenging ministry. At least you have some "lost" sheep to round up.

Cheers, and best wishes,

Jim

 

Isn't it amazing how you lump all pastors into the same pile. If you don't like the way things are done then start a church and show the world how it's done.

What you probably don't realize is that I have been both pastor and layman. Both are a lot of work if you do what God has called you to do. I am a layman now at the time. The only diference betwen you and me is I know what it is like to be on both sides.

I would find it difficult to believe that pastors are the only people you speak critically about.

In the midst of your criticism you never did answer my question: "Who's living for Jesus Christ because of your life?" Until you can answer that question then you need to get to work.

You seem to know a lot about the politics of the church. I just don't have time to get involved in the politics of the church. The majority of politicians are doing litle except stirring up trouble. A pastor learns quickly who the workers are and they are never the troublemakers. Those who are rocking the boat are never rowing it.

It should make little difference if you like your pastor or not. What should be making the difference is that people are living for Christ because of your life. If you don't like the way things are done then start leading people to Christ and discipling them. Start by knocking on about 100 doors each month. Then build a team and take them with you. That's what I did as a laymen and working a full time job while trying to start a church.

 

as a (hopefully) future pastor, I am enjoying this thread, because I can see the reality of being a pastor and what those who have gone before me have felt and thought.

 

Nate,

Don't be discouraged. Certainly there are trying times in the ministry, but after more than 50 years, I can also tell you it is the most glorious calling given to man short of glory. There are so many rewards, and seldom a dull moment.

Cheers, and God bless,

Jim

 

You men really are uplifting for the spirit. It is wonderful to hear you saying that whether there are troubles or not, serving God is the joy of your lives.