Scarlett O. said:
I used to have that problem years ago.
It's called being a "people-pleaser." It comes from a deeply imbedded lack of self-esteem. The origins of that lack of self-esteem are irrelevant. It could any triggered by anything....literally.
We don't feel people can like us for who we are, so we try to earn their affection, beit professional, familial, platonic, or romantic affection.
We do it by always agreeing with them, always laughing at their stupid jokes, doing odd jobs for them, loaning them money, loaning them our vehicles, co-signing loans for them, liking the people they like, being enemies with the people they are enemies with, and so on.
We will do anything to avoid making them upset or angry with us.....because, then well, they won't like us anymore. And if they don't like us, then that's the end of the world....right?
It's a dangerous place to be. It's quite hidden problem and people who have this mental and emotional people-pleasing problem cannot see it in themselves, but others can and sometimes take advantage.
What would be so terribly awful if you had to go to this person and say, "I'm so very sorry, but I can only loan you $10 instead of $20. I'm running short this week, too. I want to help you, but I made a mistake of misjudging how much I can loan you. Here, take the $10 and just pay me back whenever you can."
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Yeah I feel you...for me its just the fact that I feel so bad for people. In general.. I can see a homeless person and I give them a Dollar...5 dollars ext... and have no problem with it because since I was down and now that I at least am ok...its like thats my weak spot when someone says I dont have any food... I take out what ever I have and give it to them and then I am like OPPS>>>> what do I do now... lol...
