I turned the other cheek and I feel torn about it

[Nicholas25]

I play in a basketball league at a recreation center. Last night we were beat down by a bunch of jerks. In the fourth quarter with about 5:00 to go I blocked a guys shot while he was in the air, the momentum from the block and my hand on the ball took him to the ground hard. I apologized and tried to help him up. He started cussing me and called me several cuss words. All I said was “dude that’s not how I play basketball and if I did it on purpose I wouldn’t apologize”. I have posted on here before about how big of a cocky jerk I was before Christ changed my heart. Three years ago I would have cussed this guy out and called him EVERY name in the book if I didn’t fight him. The thing is I realize that most people don’t look at this and say “see what a good Christian he is, he turned the other cheek”. Most people would think I looked like a wuss. My wife tried to make me feel better by telling me how she and the Lord were proud of me. But I feel very bad about the whole situation. I have not been in a situation like that since rededicating my life to Jesus. It was very embarrassing. Have you guys been in a situation like that? And how would you have handled my situation? Thanks.

 

[Brother Bob]

One of my preacher buddies who passed on was being pushed too far once and finally he showed him his fist and said "the Lord told me to give you some of this". The fellow never did bother him again but I am not suggesting the same for you just letting you know its hard in the flesh sometimes to hold your peace. I know another preacher that the family were waiting for him when he came out of the funeral home after preaching over their loved one and punched him right in the mouth. He just got, dusted himself and left.
Me, I am too sick to physically do anything but not too sure about my mouth.

 

[DeeJay]

Nothing looks stronger then a man who can stand his ground and in a calm voice reason a logical argument with a person who is out of control and yelling screaming obsenities at him.

The person who has lost control of himself looks like a immature idiot who can not keep control during a game, let alone a serious situation.

In my opinion you looked like the stronger man.

And nothing defuses a situation better then a person who can speak calmly and keep control of himself. If he did start to fight, you would have had the upper hand. Emotions and anger make a person fight poorly.

Think about this same situation between two other people that you observe as a bystander. Who would you have more respect for the person who lost control or the person who remained calm and cool.

Good Job.

 

[xdisciplex]

Does turning the other cheek mean that you have to look like you're a chicken?
I don't think so. I think you can also turn the other cheek and still be totally intimidating. At least this would be cool. :laugh:
Maybe you could have said something like: "Listen bro, I don't want to beat you up so here's a dollar and now hit the road. I want to buy myself off because if you don't get outa here real soon there'll be a fight."

Just kidding.

I mean I don't think that you have to allow the other one to cuss at you and you just have to stand there and say amen to it. I would have told him to shut up. Turning the other cheek doesn't mean that you have to accept everything. This would be silly. Imagine the guy starts hitting you in the face then would you just stand there and do nothing? Or would you walk backwards and try to escape his punches? This makes no sense.

 

[DQuixote]

It was unintentional. You had no desire to injure him. Nicholas25, your response was the correct one. We all battle the impulses of the flesh. Thank God we know the difference. Blessings upon thee and thy house.

:thumbs:

 

[webdog]

You should have just given him a well placed elbow the next time down the court

It takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight than to participate in one. You did the right thing, and shouldn't be down about it. Let the jerk feel like he's all that and let it go. The next guy he mouths off to just may so happen to be similar to the "old" Nicholas.

 

[menageriekeeper]

I think you are missing the big picture here:

I have posted on here before about how big of a cocky jerk I was before Christ changed my heart. Three years ago I would have cussed this guy out and called him EVERY name in the book if I didn’t fight him.

Just look what God has accomplished in your life in just 3 short year! :applause:

 

[Brother Bob]

.....................

 

[North Carolina Tentmaker]

It sounds to me like you did the right thing Nicholas. What exactly are your torn about? Don’t worry about what “most people” see or think, what do you think God saw?

The real key to handling this and any similar situation is to say in the spirit all the time so that when something like this occurs the Holy Spirit can give you the discernment to know when to stand firm and when to walk away.

I remember something my high school football coach told me a lifetime ago. He said, There are things worth dieing for, things worth fighting for and things worth arguing about. Just make sure you know which is which. Don’t die for something that was only worth arguing for and don’t walk away from things that are worth standing for. And don’t forget that some things aren’t even worth arguing about.

 

[ccrobinson]

Nothing looks stronger then a man who can stand his ground and in a calm voice reason a logical argument with a person who is out of control and yelling screaming obsenities at him.

The person who has lost control of himself looks like a immature idiot who can not keep control during a game, let alone a serious situation.

In my opinion you looked like the stronger man.

And nothing defuses a situation better then a person who can speak calmly and keep control of himself. If he did start to fight, you would have had the upper hand. Emotions and anger make a person fight poorly.

Think about this same situation between two other people that you observe as a bystander. Who would you have more respect for the person who lost control or the person who remained calm and cool.

Good Job.

I've added the bold for emphasis, because DeeJay is right on.

Couldn't have said it any better myself.

 

[webdog]

I also agree ^

A man who can handle himself knows it, and doesn't need to, or want to show it.

 

[Bro. James Reed]

My question is, which matters more to you, what your wife thinks of you or what the bystanders think of you?

It takes a lot to get me to fight using my fists. I haven't been in a real fight in many years, and then was with my brother, so that doesn't count.:laugh:

I do, however, remember a story my former pastor told us several years ago.

He was a Superintendent for a Construction company in the mid-90's. One of the men that worked with him found out that he was a preacher. He would constantly rag on him and cuss around him and just basically push him to try to get a rise and prove that he was a hypocrite. After one such occassion, my pastor told him "If you say anything else about me, I am going to knock you out." The man told him, "What would Jesus do?", in a halfway mocking manner. My pastor told him, "I ain't Jesus." The man didn't bother him anymore.

I realize we should be above such worldly arguments and fights, but we do sometimes have to make a stand. I am much more apt to turn the cheek when a church brother offends me than if someone in the world is constantly riding me trying to get a reaction. There is a point where they will get what they are looking for, and they won't like it.

I think in the situation you described, you did the right thing. If, however, it becomes a common occurence, I would find a different set of people to play ball with so as to avoid a physical confrontation. We shouldn't put ourselves in such situations if we are able to avoid them.

 

[J. Jump]

I am too trying to find out exactly what you are torn about. Sounds like you handled the situation pretty well. But if competition becomes too much of an issue or you think it is becoming too much of an issue then just step away from those competitive situations.

A friend of mine, who happens to be one of the best Christians examples I know, said he has to quit weight lifting because of competition.

I used to coach college and high school basketball and I know that I let competition get the better of me more times that I wish. And it's probably why I haven't coached in five years. And probably why I won't ever go back into the profession.

 

[tinytim]

Sounds like you handled it like a real man.

I remember one time me and my father-in-law got into an argument...
He started cussing me, calling me every name in the book and then some... I just stood there listening to it for about 2 minutes with a smile on my face... finally he said, "Ain't you gonna say anything?" I simply said, "Man, that was pretty." Boy oh boy did he get fired up...

And if I wasn't on phone (and 45 miles away) he would have decked me!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :tonofbricks:

 

[amity]

Yes, Nicholas, you handled that very well. You definitely won that one! My hero!

I know it can be hard as the old man wars with the new.

 

[John of Japan]

I play in a basketball league at a recreation center. Last night we were beat down by a bunch of jerks. In the fourth quarter with about 5:00 to go I blocked a guys shot while he was in the air, the momentum from the block and my hand on the ball took him to the ground hard. I apologized and tried to help him up. He started cussing me and called me several cuss words. All I said was “dude that’s not how I play basketball and if I did it on purpose I wouldn’t apologize”. I have posted on here before about how big of a cocky jerk I was before Christ changed my heart. Three years ago I would have cussed this guy out and called him EVERY name in the book if I didn’t fight him. The thing is I realize that most people don’t look at this and say “see what a good Christian he is, he turned the other cheek”. Most people would think I looked like a wuss. My wife tried to make me feel better by telling me how she and the Lord were proud of me. But I feel very bad about the whole situation. I have not been in a situation like that since rededicating my life to Jesus. It was very embarrassing. Have you guys been in a situation like that? And how would you have handled my situation? Thanks.

You did right, Nicholas. You learned the tremendous power of humility and gentleness.

The term "Judo" means literally, "gentle way." The best Judo throw comes when you use the other person's strength to throw him. I call what you did, "verbal judo." Note where it occurs in Scripture (one of many places): "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Prov. 15:1)

 

[amity]

And in the end, don't care what ANYONE thinks of you... but the Lord!

 

[hillclimber1]

Yes DeeJay nailed it.

Before I was saved my buddy and I were kicked off two different teams and finally the league for fighting. My friend and I were two of only three white guys in the whole league, and my buddy was decidedly racist, and still is today. Our teams were over matched and fighting ended up being more fun than basketball. Or I should say, getting the enemy to start the fight was the fun. After being saved, my attitude changed dramatically.

You handled it properly.